Relationships are Everything
My dear friend "Walt" shared this story with me.
I attended the New Partners' meeting for a major global consulting firm. At 11AM on Day 1, an old white-haired man hobbled his way to the podium and opened with "Gentlemen [we were all men at the time], relationships are everything." We all groaned inwardly; why did the firm spend money flying in this old fart to lecture us on soft stuff? But, he was famous in the firm for being a senior adviser to many CEOs, so we settled in to listen.
He told us, "We had tried for a long time to get a meeting with the Chief Strategy Officer of [major bank], but had never succeeded. Finally he gave us a 15-minute meeting. Ten minutes into the meeting, he got up and said it wasn't worth spending the remaining five minutes, and ushered us out.
"For some reason I added my personal phone to my business card, and as I handed it to him I told him to call me anytime, for anything. I'm not sure why I did that, after he had treated us so rudely, but I did. We left, and remarked on what a jerk that guy was, how we weren't going to waste any more time on him – and then pretty much left it behind us.
"Many months later, on a Saturday night, I got a phone call at 2AM. The caller was slurring his words, and I almost hung up on him.? It took me a minute to realize it was the CSO. He said he wanted to talk to me. I said I could arrange something for Tuesday. He said he needed something sooner; I said I could fit him in Monday.
"He paused, and then told me that his family had recently left him, that he'd been drinking, and that he had a gun – and that he was afraid he wouldn't make it until sunrise. That woke me up sharply; I got his address and went to see him. I talked him off the ledge, so to speak, and by sunrise we got him checked into a hospital. I went home shaking.
"I called his office Monday to check in on him, without being too intrusive. His admin told me he was out, but would be back Wednesday, and to try him then. I called Wednesday, but was told he was busy. I tried Friday –?same result. I stopped trying; he knew where to reach me.
"A year passed. I had forgotten all about him, when I got another call from him.? 'We think we need a complete organizational restructuring project,' he said. 'Would you be willing to bid on it?' We did, and we got the job.
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"He was promoted over the years, eventually to CEO. He was a client of ours for 20 years, and we never once had a competitive bid. He and I never spoke of that night, but then, we didn't have to. We both knew.
"I don't know why I gave him my number, or why I said to call me anytime. I certainly don't know why he did call me – but he did. And it turns out I must have meant what I said, because I kept my promise to him."
The partner paused, so long that we wondered if he was having a neurological moment. Then he said, "Gentlemen, relationships are everything."
I was not alone in the audience in realizing two things. First, I was acutely aware of how I had been harshly judging this senior partner just minutes before. Second, I think I knew why he had given the client his phone number – because he had a deep empathy for people and subconsciously felt a man in pain and need.
It made me appreciate that all my clients, and potential clients, were people who more often than not needed someone to listen – even, perhaps especially, when they were difficult to deal with.
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"Walt's" story speaks for itself, but I'll add:
Quick Wisdom Quip: The Godfather had it wrong with the line "It's not personal, it's business." The truth is, it IS business, and it IS personal.
Provocative Question: When you say you believe in relationships, just what do you mean by that?
A story that reminds we don’t know when or how ‘relationships’ will really form. So its important to be open to them…and not be in a hurry. Thanks Charlie.
Value-Based Selling Coach | Developing Top 10% Performers | Strategies for Must-Win Complex Sales
4 个月What a fantastic story Charlie. There are so many lessons there. The one that resonates most for me is that first and foremost we are human and 95% of the time in the thrall of our limbic (irrational/emotional) system. And yet in business and especially in sales we can't get past the suit and the positions people occupy. We see them (and ourselves) as rational/logical and trot out the formulaic BS to appeal to the paltry 5% of us. That said, your white-haired colleague was on another level to the rest of us in being sensitive to who the CSO was rather than what he was. I'm not on his level, but I know from my own experience that relating to the emotional rather than logical being is the foundation of the most meaningful relationships, in business and personal life. What is baffling is that most of us know that on a personal level, however in business we just 'don't go there'. We see suits, not people
Another valuable story from my friend Charlie Green. Thank you. Keep them coming!
Trusted advisor, strategist, leader, driver, investor for unprecedented value creation in consumer facing industries; Board Member
4 个月I have come to decide after decades in professional services that investing in others without expectation is the whole point. When you are caring and committed, the rest just takes care of itself. Curiosity, awareness, transparency, non-judgmentalism are the tactics. Stories like this abound, but organizations capacity to understand and adjust seem stubborn.
Stop treating the symptoms. If your small business is hurting, you need to uncover the underlying illness. I will help you do just that. You can have the Healthy Business You Have Always Wanted.
4 个月Charlie, thank you! This story reminds me of many other relationship stories. There are cynics who would say, "who cares" but I daresay there are very few people who viscerally believe that. One of the most powerful lessons I derived here is that "Walt" remained true to his word. How many of us would have given up on the CSO? Perhaps quite a few. But Walt did not. He made an impact on someone, a critical impact. He may never have known just how much. But now that he does (and we do too) I am reminded that it is ALWAYS worth that effort.