Are relationships dragging you down?

Understanding entropy in relationships.

When there is a lack of attention and focus, things tend towards gradual decline and disorder. The decline towards disorder is what physics calls as Entropy. The idea of entropy applies to one’s lifestyle as much as it applies to the physical universe. 

A simple example is your workspace. Expense receipts, mail, printouts, older coffee cups, the book you bought recently all find a way to co-exist on your table. Slowly it’s a mess and there comes a time when you have to clear it all to make the space functional again. This is an easy to understand example of a system affected by entropy. 

To restore balance and orderliness, into this system, clean up is necessary until entropy sets in again and the system begins to disintegrate. Laws of physics say that “entropy increases with time”. This law reflects the instability of a system over time if there is nothing to stabilize it. So keeping things in order requires constant energy input and attention.

To keep things in order requires constant energy input

Entropy affects human relationships also. Relationships that lack attention and care tend to gravitate towards neglect and wrong perceptions. Over time one’s imagination and flawed thinking accelerate the disorder. The inner chambers of mind become skewed and mental baggage begins to pile up. Small misunderstandings and mistakes mushroom of proportion and we begin harboring more and more of the baggage. Finally, the time comes when some small incident blows up out of proportion. However, if wisdom prevails and we intervene at the right time then things get back in order again. Any relationship needs attention and care to iron out the wrinkles and sort out the differences. 

We see this many times at work. A small email incident blows up beyond proportions. A simple negotiation turns into a heated argument. Many times, it’s the mental baggage of the past that amplifies the intensity and vehemence with which one reacts. But there are also times when we take the high ground and are able to rein in our emotions. We are able to invest our poise and calm to let the other person express and vent. This happens in personal relationships also. Each time we have an argument with a loved one, it needs more and more energy and effort to pacify and get the relationship back on track. It’s easier at work where you can fire a vendor or move into a different team or find a new job. But in personal life, going through relationships and switching partners takes a heavy emotional toll on one’s being.

So how to ensure harmonious relationships that don’t drown you emotionally? In a family, if you have to tolerate each other all the time, then constant emotional input is required. In situations where you have to give constant emotional input, things finally break. You may be together for the sake of convenience but the relationship is broken. 

Per contra, when there is love amongst all, and when acceptance is there, then you do not have to go on offering trinkets, vacations and other gimmicks to make up for what is missing in the relationship: Love. 

When there is love, people understand. When there is love, there is no need for any explanations. Love in your heart stabilises relationships. There is a greater level of acceptance and things feel fine. I am not talking about tolerance. Tolerance may be a great virtue, but love takes relationships to the next level. 

From where does this love come? From a pure heart; from a truthful and genuine heart.

Love comes from a pure truthful and genuine heart.

Distrust kills a relationship, but if we are taught to love, to sacrifice, to accept and to remain pure, we can let go of everything. We can remove all incompatibility and eliminate all entropy.

When the constant state of my being is love, then the need for constant input disappears. The input becomes zero. When zero input is needed, it means that it is the most stable relationship, the most stable family, where I don’t have to explain myself. There is no need for, “I did this because…”, “I didn’t want to do this because…”. 

Where there is love, there is no need for explanations. When there is love, there is no entropy.