Relationship Scams: Protect your finances

Relationship Scams: Protect your finances

With the Valentine’s Day festivities right around the corner, we wanted to bring to light an immensely difficult topic related to romance. Relationship scams are one of the most profitable that scammers can use to take advantage of innocent victims. Through relationship scams, scammers have been able to take over $1.3 billion from victims in 2022 alone, according to Federal Trade Commission (FTC).?

What is a Relationship Scam?

In this scenario, a scammer attempts to take money from victims by starting a relationship with them. Their only goal in the relationship is to scam victims out of their money. According to the Federal Trade Commission, in 2022, nearly 20,000 people reported a romance scam. The average amount that each individual lost was about $4,400.*

What are some signs of a Relationship Scam?

Often, a relationship scam will start on social media or an online dating platform. The individual will attempt to connect with anyone willing to speak with them, but particularly those that are lonely. Once they’ve initiated a relationship, the scammer will try to get money from their victim. According to the FTC1, some of the most common lies that Romance Scammers use are:

  • “I or someone close to me is sick, hurt, or in jail.”
  • “I can teach you how to invest.”
  • “I’m in the military far away.”
  • “I need help with an important delivery.”

While many romance scams operate under the premise of the scammer needing help, sometimes, they offer to help their victims. The scammer will pretend to know all about cryptocurrency or investing. They’ll say, “All you need to do is send me money, and I’ll invest it for you.” Then, once a victim sends money, the scammer will pocket the cash.

Possibly the most significant red flag that we have seen is when a scammer asks a victim to send funds to purchase Crypto. Cryptocurrency is still a mostly unregulated financial means, and as a result, fraudsters use it to perpetrate fraud. From a Banker’s perspective, it can look no different than someone sending a wire to invest in a Cryptocurrency legitimately.

According to the FTC, people who fall for romance scams report that the most popular methods scammers prefer to receive money are through gift cards for smaller amounts. The bigger losses take place through bank wires or cryptocurrency. While less common, scammers may also accept payment through a payment app or service.*

Spotting a romance scammer**

  • They say they’re far away
  • Their profile seems too good to be true
  • The relationship is moving fast
  • They break promises to see you
  • They ask for money
  • They ask for specific payment methods
  • They ask you to lie or withhold information from your bank or your loved ones

What to do if you believe you are a victim

1. Tell your financial institution the whole story. Banks have a team of people who know about these scams and only want to help. They have seen it before, and they will see this scam more. Feeling pressure to withhold information or lie is a big sign that you are in a relationship scam.

2. Do not continue to speak to the individual to “see how it plays out.” Cut off all contact. Scammers are very good at convincing their victims to come back to the relationship.

3. With today’s technology, someone does not need all of your personal information, online banking credentials, and account number to send you money. If they say they do, it is probably a scam.

Ending the Relationship?

Ending any relationship can be extremely difficult to accomplish. You need to take a step back and analyze your relationship. If you are suspicious of a relationship after learning more about relationship scams, ask a close friend what they think about the relationship, or ask your bank if they’ve ever seen a situation similar to yours.

If you believe you are dealing with a relationship scammer, the most important thing to do is to end communication with the scammer as soon as possible. We recognize the difficulty in choosing to go no-contact, but please remember that scammers are excellent at pulling their victims back in.

After the end of the relationship seek support by reaching out to friends or family. If you have sent money to someone online, reach out to your bank or a trusted banking representative and give them the whole story. The bank is available to help and can help you with the next steps to protect your finances.


Being the victim of a relationship scam can be one of the most difficult realities to face. You thought you gained a friend, a confidant, a trusted individual; but they turn out to only be using you. If someone mistreats you, step back and view the relationship from the outside. Stepping back can help you see the relationship from a clearer angle. Remember that you have inherent value and deserve to be happy and healthy.


*Romance scammers’ favorite lies exposed | Federal Trade Commission (ftc.gov)

**Romance scams in 2023 + online dating statistics - Norton

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