Relationship Misconceptions

Infidelity is a major cause of relationship breakdown, and so understanding why some people cheat is an important area of research.

Of course, none of us is immune to temptation. Committing to a long-term, exclusive relationship doesn’t close our minds to the alternative. A marriage vow enshrines our intention “to forsake all others,” but it can’t render all others unattractive.

There are many beliefs about romantic partnerships, which are not only untrue, but may even be destructive to our relationships.

Holding on to ideas of how we think a relationship should function or should be is problematic, because at the first sign of what we think is trouble, we may give up and walk away.

Conversely, we may avoid entering into relationships with others because of signs we view as red flags, which aren’t necessarily indicative of a problem.

Don’t torture yourself. Temptation and attraction are completely normal and, to a certain extent, inevitable. However, some circumstances are more threatening than others, so don’t put yourself in them (if you can help it). You can’t avoid bumping into an attractive stranger, but you can avoid a coffee date with a coworker you can’t help but flirt with.

It’s human to feel bad for having eyes for anyone other than your S.O. — but before you feel guilty for flirting with a friend you met on a business trip, know that temptation can actually *improve* the relationship you’re already in.

Use temptation to fuel your own relationship .Use it to create a discussion where you and your partner share what you find attractive.

Who knows where it might lead. If you can both leave judgment and insecurity at the door, it will lead to a deeper connection and understanding of one another.

Conflict is a sign of a bad relationship.

A conflict that is handled in a constructive manner leads partners to learn more about one another and gives each person the chance to clearly articulate his or her wants, needs, goals, and feelings.

Do not get discouraged if you and your partner fight — conflict is inevitable. Instead, focus on ways to work together to deal with the issue(s) that led to the conflict.

 Cohabitation leads to better/poorer marriage outcomes.

You will notice that this second misconception goes both ways. On the one hand, many people believe that cohabitation is likely to improve the quality of a marriage, because you get to live with your partner, learn about one another, and essentially practice for the real thing. On the other hand, there is a great deal of research that focuses on the connection between cohabitation and lower relationship quality.

So, which is it? It turns out that the relationship between cohabitation and marriage is not all that easy to discern.

Relating to the former belief — that cohabitation improves marriage — playing house isn’t necessarily beneficial. In fact, it can be detrimental to your relationship getting married are choosing to cohabitate with others to whom they may not be as committed.

People who only live with their eventual marriage partner may be attaching more meaning to living together and, as a result, are not demonstrating the negative outcomes associated with cohabitation.

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate. 

Thank you …Therefore, the relationship between cohabitation and marriage may not solely be a result of living together, and instead may be related to other individual differences and each partner’s level of commitment.

Opposites attract.

This is one of the most persistent misconceptions about relationships. Opposites do not attract.

 Rather, it’s birds of a feather that flock together. selectivity of mate preference in the same trait Therefore, when selecting a potential partner, we would show a preference for individuals with traits similar to our own.

Similarity is even a major factor when people decide whether or not to pursue an online relationship

Most of us have heard at one point or another that half of all marriages end in divorce. The 50-percent divorce statistic is overinflated by those who marry and divorce multiple times.

Determining the exact divorce rate is tricky, because not all states record and keep the data.Also, when people report the divorce statistic, they are usually calculating it as the result of dividing those who married by those who divorced.

 This does not account for the fact that those who are divorcing are not necessarily the same people who married. Using that method, we are actually comparing people from different generational cohorts. The divorce rate varies by cohort and is changing as a result of people waiting longer to get married, and focusing on their education ion and vocation before settling down.

Want to add word or two? 

Don't do what you wouldn't want done to you: It's one of the oldest sayings, but, this is pretty much a first step to training yourself from either cheating, or going outside of your relationship. You definitely wouldn't want to be cheated on, or two time.

So think about that every chance you get, “ what would you do if you found out your partner cheated, how pissed would be?”, very. Of course this is easier said than done. So ask yourself is it really worth it?.

Yet, we know it's easy to stray from your partner as things may slow down either in the bedroom or just in your everyday life. This is why you try to do exotic the things you and her want to do together.

Your comment ….?

Love is a 50/50 partnership

Many people view love as a two-way street, with each person receiving affection in proportion to what’s been given out. It’s true that love often breeds love in return, but expecting a measured response for each gesture of affection is unrealistic.

Worse, it leads to score keeping and the constant feeling that one is doing either too much or too little.

The reality is more like a series of candles, each lighting the others. Some candles are large, some are small.

One person’s 80% may glow dimmer than someone else’s 20%.

Sometimes we pour love in a constant stream toward someone who is not yet able to give it back.

Try to give 60%, 70%, or even 100% in every relationship you are part of. You never know which candle may be just a few seconds away from sparking.

Loving someone means never letting go

We all make sacrifices for the people we love, but there’s a big difference between changing your plans for someone else’s benefit and allowing yourself to be swallowed up in self-destructive behaviors that benefit no one.

Remember that sacrifice is about exchanging something of worth for an outcome we value even more.

Like a chess player giving up a pawn in order to advance his queen, we let go of our own desires in order to improve the well-being of those we love. If our selfless gestures fail to achieve this goal, they cease being sacrifices and become waste.

You never have to stop caring about someone. But sometimes, for your own safety and sanity, it’s important to step away, regain perspective, and create an environment that allows everyone to grow.