Relationship Debt and Burnout – How Workplace Relationships Impact Well-being

Burnout is more than just exhaustion—it signifies deeper issues in workplace relationships. With global burnout costs estimated at trillions of dollars, it’s clear that stress and disengagement are not just personal struggles but systemic workplace problems.

One often overlooked factor contributing to burnout is relationship debt (Lundgren, 2025) —the accumulation of unresolved issues, lack of trust, and emotional strain in professional and personal relationships. Like financial debt, relationship debt can grow over time, making interactions stressful and draining energy.

In this article, we’ll explore how burnout and relationship debt are interconnected, how guilt can signal an imbalance in relationships, and what leaders can do to foster healthier workplace dynamics.

Understanding Burnout

Burnout affects employees, leaders, and entire organisations. It’s not just about long hours—it’s about the quality of interactions, emotional support, and a sense of belonging in the workplace.

Key Statistics on Burnout:

• The global cost of burnout is estimated at USD 9.36 trillion, about 9% of global GDP.
• Factoring in lost productivity, absenteeism, turnover, and conflict resolution, the cost rises to $24 trillion (Gallup & WHO research).
• In the UK alone, burnout costs businesses around ￡367 billion annually.

These numbers highlight how burnout is more than a personal issue—it’s a business problem tied to workplace relationships. Employees who feel undervalued, unsupported, or disconnected are more likely to disengage, leading to decreased performance and higher turnover.

What is Relationship Debt?

Relationship debt is the emotional and psychological burden created when small breakdowns in trust, appreciation, and communication go unresolved. It’s the accumulation of moments when people feel unheard, unseen, or unsupported.

In workplaces, relationship debt can look like:

• A manager failing to recognize an employee’s hard work, leading to disengagement.
• Unresolved conflicts between colleagues causing long-term tension.
• Employees feeling hesitant to ask for help due to past negative experiences.

Just like financial debt, relationship debt doesn’t go away on its own. Over time, it adds up, leading to stress, frustration, and ultimately, burnout.

Guilt vs. Debt in Personal Relationships

A key indicator of relationship health is how we feel when asking for help. If you have a strong, trusting relationship with someone, you don’t feel guilty about asking for support. You know they will be there for you, just as you would be for them.

For example, if Elizabeth and I have an incredible relationship, I can ask her for help when I’m not feeling well without guilt. I trust that she won’t judge me or see my request as a burden. However, if I feel guilty asking someone for help, it likely means there’s relationship debt—something unresolved or strained in our dynamic.

Signs of Relationship Debt in Personal Life:

• Feeling hesitant to ask for help, even when needed.
• Avoiding certain topics or requests out of fear of rejection or conflict.
• A lingering sense of imbalance—giving more than receiving.
• Feeling resentment or frustration but not addressing it.

Guilt is a signal that something in the relationship is off. It’s not about whether we should or shouldn’t ask for help—it’s about whether the foundation of the relationship is strong enough to support mutual support without hesitation.

Guilt vs. Debt at Work

The same principle applies in workplace relationships. In a team with strong trust and open communication, employees feel comfortable asking for help, sharing workload, and giving feedback. But when relationship debt builds up, guilt and hesitation replace confidence.

Examples of Relationship Debt at Work:

• A team member doesn’t delegate because they feel guilty asking colleagues for help.
• An employee avoids speaking up in meetings due to fear of being judged.
• A manager hesitates to give constructive feedback because of past tensions.

When guilt replaces trust, workplace relationships suffer. Employees become less collaborative, more stressed, and less engaged—all of which contribute to burnout. Addressing relationship debt in the workplace requires honest conversations, trust-building, and resolving past conflicts before they create long-term damage.

Signs of Relationship Debt in Personal Life

Beyond guilt, there are other everyday signs that relationship debt is affecting personal well-being.

Common Relational Stressors:

• Fear of conflict over small things – Avoiding difficult conversations leads to resentment.
• Feeling unheard or unseen – Emotional distance grows when people don’t feel valued.
• Unmet expectations – "I remembered your birthday, but you forgot mine." Small disappointments add up.
• Social media comparison – Seeing "perfect" lives online can make personal struggles feel heavier.
• Lack of appreciation – "I’m always the one who has to…" creates frustration and emotional exhaustion.

These small moments may seem insignificant on their own, but over time, they accumulate and impact both mental health and relationship quality. Just like workplace stress, unresolved emotional burdens at home drain energy, increase stress, and lead to burnout.

Signs of Relationship Debt at Work

Relationship debt doesn’t just show up in personal life—it’s equally present in the workplace. When employees feel undervalued, unsupported, or disconnected, their engagement and motivation suffer.

Common Signs of Relationship Debt in the Workplace:

• Unacknowledged contributions – “I do the work, but my boss gets the credit.”
• Lack of growth opportunities – “I was ready for a promotion, but they hired externally.”
• Unresolved conflicts – Tensions and misunderstandings that never get addressed, leading to passive-aggressive behavior or avoidance.
• Hesitation to ask for help – Employees feel guilty about needing assistance, fearing they will be seen as incompetent.
• Emotional exhaustion – When trust is low, every interaction takes more energy, leading to burnout.

Just as personal relationship debt creates emotional distance, workplace relationship debt leads to disengagement, frustration, and ultimately, burnout. Addressing these issues early can prevent long-term damage to both employee well-being and company culture.

The Business Impact of Relationship Debt and Burnout

Ignoring relationship debt in the workplace isn’t just a people problem—it’s a profit problem. When employees experience unresolved relational stress, it directly affects performance, retention, and the bottom line.

How Relationship Debt Affects Business:

• Lower Productivity – Employees struggling with unresolved tensions are less focused and engaged.
• Higher Turnover – When people feel unappreciated or disconnected, they look for new opportunities.
• Disengagement – Employees emotionally check out, leading to minimal effort and innovation.
• Mental Health Struggles → Absenteeism – Burnout increases sick days and stress-related leave.

Research shows that businesses with high levels of employee engagement outperform competitors in profitability, productivity, and retention. Investing in strong workplace relationships is not just about culture—it’s a strategic advantage.

Reframing Burnout: A Leadership Responsibility

For too long, burnout has been seen as a personal problem—employees are told to manage their stress better, practice self-care, or set boundaries. But the reality is that burnout is often a systemic issue caused by workplace relationships, leadership, and culture.

The Leadership Mindset Shift:

• Old Thinking: Burnout is an individual issue—people need to manage stress better.
• New Thinking: Burnout is a relationship issue—leaders must create environments where people feel valued, supported, and connected.

Strong leadership isn’t just about setting goals and hitting targets. It’s about managing relationships—ensuring employees feel psychologically safe, heard, and appreciated. When leaders prioritize relationships, burnout decreases, and team engagement increases.

How to Repair and Strengthen Workplace Relationships

Reducing relationship debt and preventing burnout requires intentional action. Strong relationships don’t happen by accident—they are built through trust, communication, and conflict resolution.

1. Building Trust

• Be transparent – Communicate openly about challenges, expectations, and changes.
• Foster psychological safety – Create an environment where employees feel safe to speak up.
• Follow through on commitments – Reliability strengthens trust over time.

2. Resolving Conflict

• Address issues early – Small tensions grow into major issues if ignored.
• Encourage open conversations – Teach employees how to navigate difficult discussions.
• Seek to understand, not just respond – Active listening is key to resolution.

3. Strengthening Relationships

• Create opportunities for connection – Team-building activities, informal check-ins, and collaboration help.
• Raise awareness – Help employees recognise relationship debt and how to address it.
• Encourage appreciation – A culture of recognition reduces resentment and burnout.

Workplace relationships don’t need to be perfect, but they do need to be functional. When teams prioritize trust, open communication, and mutual respect, burnout decreases, and engagement thrives.

Actionable Steps for Individuals and Teams

Beyond leadership efforts, individuals and teams can take steps to improve workplace relationships and reduce relationship debt.

For Individuals:

• Self-reflect: Are there workplace relationships where you feel guilt asking for help?
• Communicate openly: If something is bothering you, address it before it builds up.
• Give and receive support: A balanced relationship fosters trust and well-being.

For Teams:

• Regular check-ins: Short meetings to address concerns before they escalate.
• Clarify expectations: Misunderstandings are a major source of relationship debt.
• Encourage feedback: A culture of feedback reduces resentment and improves collaboration.

By making small, consistent efforts, individuals and teams can reduce stress, prevent burnout, and create a workplace where people thrive.

The Future of Work is Relational

Burnout isn’t just about stress or long hours—it’s about how we manage relationships at work. Employees don’t just leave jobs; they leave toxic cultures, unresolved conflicts, and environments where they feel unseen and unsupported.

The key takeaway? If you feel guilty about asking for help, something is off in the relationship. Guilt signals relationship debt—whether in personal life or at work. Addressing these imbalances builds healthier connections, reduces stress, and ultimately creates more successful and engaged teams.

So, ask yourself: What’s your role in creating healthy relationships?

Gallup. (n.d.). Managing people is harder than ever: Insights on engagement and workplace health. Retrieved from https://www.gallup.com/workplace/349484/state-of-the-global-workplace.aspx

Indeed. (n.d.). How to measure employee burnout. Retrieved from https://www.indeed.com/hire/c/info/how-to-measure-employee-burnout

Lundgren,? J. H. (2025). Relationship Debt and Its Impact on Employee Burnout in Private Western Technology Companies. Preprints. https://doi.org/10.20944/preprints202501.2279.v1?

Mental Health UK. (2025). Burnout report 2025 reveals generational divide in levels of stress and work absence. Retrieved from https://mentalhealth-uk.org/blog/burnout-report-2025-reveals-generational-divide-in-levels-of-stress-and-work-absence/

SHRM. (2024). Burnout in the workplace: Research on inclusion, diversity, and engagement. Retrieved from https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/inclusion-diversity/burnout-shrm-research-2024

TravelPerk. (n.d.). Remote work burnout statistics: 2023 trends. Retrieved fromhttps://www.travelperk.com/blog/remote-work-burnout-statistics/