Relationship Capital – are you accruing interest or breaking the bank?
Jilbert Ebrahimi via Unsplash

Relationship Capital – are you accruing interest or breaking the bank?

Promises.

Commitments.

Statements of action.


They are delivered via words – spoken and written.


“You have my word.”

“Her word is gold”

“If he says he’s going to do it, he will”

“Consider it done.”


These are phrases that can attest to a person’s character or quickly become cliche when they are backed by air rather than action.


Personal or business, relationships are built incrementally over time. Healthy relationships are symbiotic and grow from a mutual exchange of actions, like deposits in a bank. Those actions might be attached to goods and services or straight-up compassion delivered on request or simply out of doing what is right.?


Following through on doing what you say you will do is how a relationship account grows and, like an interest-bearing account, relationship capital is earned.


The Yin and Yang.


So as Relationship Capital is accrued over time through staying true to your word, so too can it be eroded. It’s not a single slip or forgotten follow-up that does the damage. Life happens to all of us, including me. And that’s the beautiful thing about relationship capital. It can withstand a misstep when it’s a once-in-while event.


The real erosion happens when slips and forgetfulness become a noticable pattern. When inaction on a commitment is no longer the exception, but rather seems to have become the default.


?It gets noticed. It undermines trust.


This has happened to me. I needed a decision-maker to take action on something and when it didn’t happen at first, I assumed the ‘life happens’ scenario, so my follow-ups over a three-week span looked like this:

  • Resent the document
  • Resent a second time
  • Sent a text requesting a quick call
  • Had the call and was given a commitment of action
  • Received a follow-up email with a commitment of action on a specific date
  • The date came and went, no action
  • Mentioned to a direct report if left unresolved it would impact our work
  • A direct report was told everything was taken care of
  • Sent a visual summary to all involved showing it’s not taken care of
  • Received a follow-up email with a commitment of action on a specific date (again)
  • Date came and went, no action (again)



One of the Four Agreements, written by Don Miguel Ruiz, is Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”


Did I take this personally at first? Of course. I’m human. It was a long-standing relationship and it certainly didn’t feel good to be ignored, dismissed or devalued.


It took some long walks and soul-searching, and it’s no longer personal for these reasons:

  • It’s not my job to cover the negative balance on this relationship account
  • It’s not just happening to me – it is indeed a pattern
  • It’s not about me


“Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you.”


I’m a person who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. Drives my husband crazy. I trust people to a fault – until they give me reasons not to.


So I made a difficult decision.


The decision went against my nature. It honestly made me queasy and I lost sleep over it. My people-pleaser gremlin whispered it’s selfish to take a stand. “Give them one more chance,” it said.


Fortunately, I had a sager self to remind me I had given them several opportunities to address the matter at hand. I had been generous in my assumptions. And now the very thing I was expecting of them, I needed to apply to myself – BE TRUE to your words.


That decision caused them to take action.


How do you avoid squandering Relationship Capital?

  • Stay true to your word
  • Don’t over commit
  • Take ownership when you break either (or both) of the first two


“Business moves at the speed of trust” ?- Stephen Covey


Life and business continue on, just at a different level of trust.

And very different terms.


I wrote this months ago as a way to release the mix of frustration and disappointment taking up space in my mind and heart. Wasn’t sure this story would ever see the light of day. Then as I started to outline my blog series on brand, I realized there is a valuable brand lesson here for all.


Your brand is dimensional.

It has sharp and smooth edges → facets.

Relationship Captial is a brand facet.?

It impacts your customers, employees, vendors and peers.

It’s something you build and hone over time.

It can help you navigate through a storm.

It can also be shattered when you recklessly spend it.


So what grade would you give yourself on this facet of your brand?

Are you accruing or losing relationship capital?


++++++++++++++++

*Written from my heart & experience, no AI needed.

I make brands more fascinating so they can BE the expert their ideal client can’t do without. Invest 30 minutes with me to answer 3 revealing questions and determine if your brand is helping you stand out or is it holding you back.

#creativewriting #personalbrand #brandessence #merakiblueprint

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