Relation: A Weekly Wisdom Post

My initial word for this week was PARTNER, but I needed it to be broader than that. The word RELATION then came to mind and this week was a great week of relation. What comes to mind for you in relation?

Partnership

This week, my partner Jyo Maan and I completed another series on Inclusive Leadership: Creating Brave Spaces. Jyo and I have built a beautiful relationship in that we can present new ideas without fear of rejection, can be challenged by each other without taking anything personally, and can support each other when one or both are low on energy. As part of the workshop, we share some of the ups and downs in our relationship as a means of modeling vulnerability to our participants.

I think many of our participants would have liked a specific model for creating brave spaces that they can use in every situation. There simply isn’t a perfect or even standard way of creating brave spaces. To have a brave space requires building internal psychological muscle, a heart for the work, and a willingness to experiment. In short, it is a journey of practice!

In one of our own final acts of bravery during the series, we ask participants to complete a statement meant to provide insight to improve our work, but also acknowledge any remaining fears. The statement is: “What I really want to say, but I haven’t yet is…” Some of the responses were;

• As a team leader and facilitator, it is challenging to handle difficult personalities in the room.
• This has been too abstract for me, but I am committed to keep learning and developing.
• I am still learning and growing.
• I'm still struggling with my skepticism.
• Leadership is hard.
• I am scared to fail.

All of these are welcome! Some of our final guidance was this – First, if you are creating a new space/team, then it will be easier to incorporate many of the tools and concepts we’ve provided. If you are working with a team that is heavy in conflict and low in trust, then it will be best to experiment with small steps toward bravery. A super brave act in a heavily charged setting is to ask for and take a pause.

And most importantly, we advised our participants not to do this work alone. I am blessed and honored to have a partner like Jyo in this work. We work in a great relationship!

What partners hold you in relation?

Point of Relation

This month, Thomas Hübl unveiled a YouTube channel called Point of Relation. I love Hubl’s work and recently even completed a Trauma-informed Leadership Course with him and his Pocket Project team. His presence and invitation to presence and relation keep calling me in. One of my favorite quotes he often uses with regard to relation is “I feel you feeling me.” When we are fully present to each other and truly feel seen and heard, there is an indescribable feeling and energy that comes.

One of the videos on the YouTube Channel is called “Creating Abundance in a World of Scarcity.” In that video Hübl says

“the willingness to serve each other is the only way to dispel the scarcity into a mutual world becomes a house that is a home for everybody."

He says that when we support each other’s flourishing we create an abundant system. That is the point of relation for me. We all have gifts and it's our job to share ours. It is also our job to invite the gifts of others when we need them.

I encourage you to check out the videos already on the channel and subscribe. Then, if you feel like it, hit me up for a conversation about one of them! Let’s work on our relation!

What is one of your points of relation?

Relationship

Finally, I must honor my partner in life, Doug, this week. We celebrated three amazing years together with a great evening of food, drinks, theatre and just being. Our relationship has so blessed me. Primarily, we love our time together, however big or small. We cherish those moments of deep connection. While we do love our adventures, we pay more attention to so many little things that matter more. Cheers to great relation!

What relationship can you celebrate today?

Feel free to DM me for information on Inclusive Leadership: Creating Brave Spaces. My partner Jyo and I will be happy to help you create brave spaces of your own!