Relate vs. Negotiate

Dear Professionals,

I know you read this from time to time (lol). This feels like a reel from Sesame Street but let's talk about the difference between Relate and Negotiate. Yes, it's important.

When you negotiate what do you do? Well, you advocate, position, and work on a settlement based on the best facts for your client. We've drilled the negotiation style into our heads and I know you are comfortable with that approach - it after all is the kung fu that you do.

When you relate what do you do? You identify the problem, you communicate and perhaps you collaborate.

What is your client's wish? I mean honestly, what do they want to do? Your client may say they want to co-parent and you interpret that to mean they honestly want to end their lawsuit only after they scorch the earth and heavens above and the ocean below.

But.....

If your client's wish is to co-parent things change- communication is important to them, something that they value. Would you position with your spouse when you are trying to meet your kid's needs OR would you problem solve? Would you collaborate, and look for the best options available to you? Would you try to listen understand and respond to one another? Well of course you would! Some of these parents are not into the fight - some of these parents know the damage caused by the divorce and want to pull them out. Shared goals mean shared expectations. These people want to problem solve - and if collaborative divorce is not in the budget well a relational mediation would go a long way to help them.

Anyway that's my input for the day - but when people say whats the difference - geez - there's a huge one!