Rekindling my passion for English in midlife

I recently completed a four-course intermediate grammar specialization on Coursera to fulfill one of my long-held desires. I have always been enthralled with the idea of studying literature, English studies, journalism, and mass communication (as it was called back in the 90s) because I didn’t get the chance during my undergraduate years.

As a young adult, my pragmatic Chinoy father chose my course for me—he sent me to a business-related program that led me to psychology. But English was and still is my first love. That’s all in the past now; I'm in my 40s, and nothing can turn back time. However, I can connect with my inner child and relish the study of this complicated, tricky language, making up for lost time.

My late father was right in some ways—writing would never be as lucrative as running a business conglomerate or having your own drug store chain. However, a writer won’t starve these days. It's a pity my father died before seeing the current landscape, where content creators can be rockstars in their own right. With the right personal branding and luck on her side, a writer like me can earn loads of money and never be the stereotypical starving artist. Writers are more like solo entrepreneurs nowadays. If only my dad could see me now with my hybrid publisher, PaperKat Books.

A few days ago, Typhoon Carina (Gaemi) flooded the first floor of my house. In the storage area, I had several boxes of treasured books, but I never got around to rearranging them after house renovations. Unfortunately, these books became waterlogged, and I had to throw them all away. (As if I had a choice!) However, deep down inside, I felt relieved, even a bit thankful—I hadn’t looked at those books for a year —I didn’t really need them.

Flashback to what I remember about the box method of decluttering: put things away for quite some time, and if you don’t use them, don’t even look and just discard. Oh, the agony! And with the same breath, good riddance!

In the years to come, I may replace the majority of my real paper books with e-books, just as I have replaced traditional textbooks with online learning courses and materials. Much more updated and sustainable, if you think about it. Furthermore, I may also create an electronic library for books I have already read and keep only a few in a capsule library. I’ve just renewed my pledge to give away 80% of the books I have already read. That’s it. Goodbye book, may you serve the next person and the next and the next.

Language and words always soothe my worries, when I am upset, it’s words that I turn to. Likewise, being able to study English and read books helps me connect with my inner child—the person who hasn’t yet been robbed of wonder.

As someone who grew up in the 80s, I got used to and preferred physical books and face-to-face teachers. However, it’s high time to adopt some changes. Why don’t I give new mediums and modalities a try? You know, be a bit more Gen Z in my approach? I can tap into the playful, adventurous side of me, pick up where I left off in my youth, and in the process, learn a thing or two from my kids and younger colleagues.

I've always said my English is near-native level, now, even 20 years too late, I have the (online) certifications to prove it. And I didn’t even need to step out of the comfort of my home. My affinity with the language began in high school when I was a fat, socially awkward kid nobody wanted to be friends with. I hid in the library and huddled with Mary Shelley, (Frankenstein); Frances Hodgson Burnett (The Secret Garden); and Homer (The Iliad) instead. There used to be a dusty old corner in the library where nobody congregated for this sort of things. But kids nowadays don’t need to hide. In fact, there are virtual places that cater to like-minded people with a myriad of niche interests.

In some ways, it’s indeed is a wonderful world powered by tech.

Following the completion of the four-part course, I plan to study linguistics next, and then Advanced English Specialization. This would complete my mastery of English grammar as far as I know. All of these courses are all in Coursera. For my psych-related knowledge, I’m planning to finish an online Jungian Coaching certification.

These days, I’m quite pleased with myself for daring to pursue what my heart desires, giving my true self a chance in midlife. Completing these courses, sharing my accomplishments, and embracing new technologies all symbolize my journey toward self-acceptance and growth.

Sharing my accomplishments, including all my certificates, on social media makes me proud of who I am, what I have achieved, and the person I am becoming.

Perhaps it is really okay to be me.