Rejoice in Her Name

New relationships bring new perspectives. I never had a newer relationship than on a Sunday in November. Coming home from church where we were undoubtedly late there were conversations that were not particularly holy. I was accused of stealing cookies.

Sometimes I would sneak a cookie. I didn't this time. Entering the house I heard "Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar." Two people teamed up on me and I saw the future.

This is a harmless kindergarten song where you accuse someone and then deny it ratting out someone else in the class. No wonder I never found purpose in school. In a group it was a way to pass the time. With one person and no one to pass it on? It became a Nazi interrogation.

While I did not know which stocks to buy or who would win any given championship; my future entailed my father repeating this phrase at least until the early football games- over two hours of repeated teasing and harassment. I was completely alone and turned around, refusing to go in the house for further taunting. I had no money on me.

At the time I carried pocket change. I took a long walk. Returning that afternoon I was not in trouble. I was informed my mother went into labor. Did my actions induce labor? Probably not. She was due to give birth and on that day had a surprisingly brief labor.

What did I think of this punctual baby? I was born four days late. Going about my business I said nothing different at school. Monday was usually a half day. With Thanksgiving coming up it was a full day. That meant I had to wait longer to meet my sister.

This was the first time I ever visited Georgetown Hospital. Other hospitals are on the way. My parents never had business on Reservoir Road. Arriving on a dark fall night to a room that was surprisingly yellow I saw my mother who was holding that baby. I was asked if I wanted to hold her.

She told me to cradle her head. A couple years earlier I was at a cousin's baptism. After the ceremony I asked if I could see him. My Uncle said "All he does is eat and sleep." He probably did not want me to wake up a sleeping infant. That's fair.

I held my sister for the first time. Did you think I lifted her over my head like in The Lion King? There was no opinion. I made no scene and had no opinion of her. Like all newborns she looked like Winston Churchill. She had light brown hair when all the other family members had dark hair.

She came home one day later. For someone who only "Ate and slept" I never witnessed anything more fascinating. The first week she was home was interesting. She never cried. Of course I watched her one Saturday and she made up for lost time. Eventually she fell asleep.

She was an entertaining baby. Foreshadowing social media I found it highly entertaining when someone called to say "Let me put my sister on the phone" and this tiny person held a large phone receiver. It was funny to see and to the person on the other line there was silence.

They did not have the "Fear of Missing Out" and I aspired to crossover appeal after that. My father never brought me into his world so I corrected that by explaining what I was doing and setting up context. I also became An Agent of Change.

You knew I would not let this anniversary pass without making fun of overblown titles. I was a Change Agent whenever she had a dirty diaper. A lot of time was spent with her. As fascinating as it was to me watching her learn to roll over and everything else? Most of those stories could be classified under "What every baby does."

Fast forward to eighth grade. After school I checked up on her. She was coming out of a nap. I never woke her up. Did I want to hear her cry? Certainly not. She opened her eyes, lifted her head, and looked to the left which was a wall. When she looked right and saw me she smiled in acknowledgement.

When I die my whole life will not flash before my eyes. I shall see this. Seeing those first two teeth on the bottom will prove that I am going somewhere better. No one was happy to see me. Not like this.

In later years my sister said "Of course I was happy to see you. I knew you would get me out of that crib." Two things can be true. She changed the timeline. Before her my home life and school life were separate. I made friends "In secret" because my parents scrutinized them and talked about them all the time.

I could have given them names from fiction and they would have said "Do you think Howard Beale would behave like that?" They saw the public version of me with my sister. At times I was resented for loving a baby.

For being nice to a family member. My father assumed I would disregard her. There is enough time to have friends and nurture a baby. Time is a limited commodity. Love is not. You can care about many and it does not detract from someone else.

There was something missing in my life. Too many adults talked down to me. Now that I was older than someone I did not act superior to a baby. There is a difference between being curious and nosy.

With curiosity you wonder about a person or subject and want to learn more. Nosy people pry because they have nothing better to do. I was asked about my life to fill the gossip column at family reunions.

When you care about others you never gossip. It's one thing to mention they are looking for work or have challenges in a relationship, another thing to emit the swamp gas that I heard about at the resort. They called it Swamp Talk although that was one of the gossipingest jobs I ever held.

None of which has to do with The World's Greatest Baby. Some took umbrage at that superlative. Look at any given baby. If you cannot imagine them being any better? You have your own version of The World's Greatest Baby.

If every Amazon Book Review can be five stars anyone can aspire to this apex. I have seen many babies on a comparable level. I have never seen one better. She invented hugs. Did she invent eye contact?

I had to keep an eye on her. She looked back and when she looked at me she smiled. As for inventing hugs; I went from the huggee to the hugger. Holding a baby is a hugging motion. If you can't be loving with a baby there isn't much hope that adults will warm up to you.

There was an interesting journey. My father could not care less about my learning. He knew how to tie his shoes so watching me do that for the first time did not interest him. It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. It was fascinating watching her endure the process.

Many spoke of a finished project. I would talk to female classmates and the adults acted like that is whom I would marry. There is no magic wand to transport one to the finished product.

You have to crawl before you run. I watched her do both. This enhanced my memory. I may not recall the dates of her first steps or first word ("Dada" although in her gibberish I did hear her say "Belgium") although she gave many fond recollections.

It never stopped. The trajectory of her life still fascinates me. By taking her at face value and having success with that I treat every new relationship that way. My father was disappointed that I did not devote myself to schoolwork the way I devoted myself to a baby.

She was a living breathing entity. School was not. The more success I had the more my father doubled down on trying to have me find fulfillment through outside forces. Once you find the greatness within the desire to amass material possessions and keep up with the Joneses who could not care less means little.

What did I find in this relationship? Purpose. It never happened in team sports and rarely happened in school. I do nothing without a good reason. I had many reasons to watch over a baby.

While my father thought I should be laser focused on finding a career (he also acted like I should seek out one thing with female classmates. I did better taking them at face value) my love of training can be traced to this woman. I love showing others another way to do their jobs. I read to my sister frequently.

There are not as many opportunities to read to her children. That is another casualty of the pandemic. As such, I read to her all the time and her career entails reading. Can I take credit for her success?

I'm not answering that. By giving a loving example- I had the exact same relatives she had- I was the one who made her feel more normal. She has solid relationships with a circle of friends, consistent work and a long relationship. I watched my parents reach out to others who were not receptive. They did all they could. I fell into that pattern where people were nice if I went to them.

She has give and take. Why can't everyone? I can regale/bore her with countless baby stories. Her success is also my good experience. She may not remember being so happy to see me she waved using her entire arm as if she were painting a fence.

Was anyone in my life exuberant before her? I know what life was like before her (B.K.) and AI- Anno Infans. In the year of our baby she still has no idea the impact she has. It is a joy saying her name.

So why don't I write it here? Because she is a private citizen and I don't want her receiving a bunch of anonymous profile views with notes asking "Are you that baby?" She and I are not connected on social media. Why would I need to be connected with her on LinkedIn? I know where she works and where she went to school. There is so much more to the story.

She was like a prism. For those who paid attention in Science Class or listened to Dark Side of the Moon I had a small beam of light. Combined with her there was a prismatic rainbow that magnified what I had on my own.

I can say she has a three syllable name. It is what we called her as a baby, the name she uses now and forever more. I enjoy hearing it. I enjoy hearing her son refer to her by her first name. She is reason to rejoice.

Our parents spoke highly of many. They elevated ones who were not what they expected. That led relationships to fall short. My sister is properly rated. I can embarrass her with success stories through the years. It beats having every fault remembered chapter and verse.

The last laugh came from working life. My father wanted me to be cutthroat. That is no way to do business. I work in a loving manner. While I am more loving with female colleagues- to the point that if I were to pursue a relationship it might feel like I am at work- everyone deserves a chance to show what they can offer. I was underestimated while caring for a baby. It led to people underestimating me all the time.

So take them by surprise. You can work in a loving manner and get the job done. Every time new employees enter my company I treat them comparably. There is no room for favoritism. The ripple effect will be felt as long as I am here. Why not treat others with care and respect? This has led to personal success and fulfillment at work. It all started on a Monday night at Georgetown Hospital.