Rejection is your honest friend, learn from it.

"The best way out is always through" - Robert Frost

Rejections are a part of life. More so, in the job market. I have had quite some experience in organizing, conducting and participating in job interviews (more on that later). These experiences have created my perspective on rejections, and I have felt like I should share it with you.

While I was studying at Columbia University, I applied for jobs quite extensively. After reaching as far as the interview stage, I got rejected from about 5 companies, before getting my first offer. Not to mention the numerous rejections I got after simply sending my resume for other job openings, or the even bigger lack of responses to my LinkedIn messages. The statistic has been similar in my other job and internship applications. It's interesting that while rejections feel bad, giving up is the only real guarantee that you will not move forward. Here are my 5 key takeaways on rejections-

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First, you were brave that you applied!

Not all of us have the courage to apply for a new job, even if we'd really like the switch. Fear of failure robs us of our agency. That's one reason why a lot of us work at jobs for much longer than we'd like to. Whenever I felt like I should try switching jobs, I'd find my inner voice saying that I wasn't ready yet. Often, it was my ego trying to protect me from rejections- even though there wasn't much I was going to do for my preparations anyway. I had to fight that instinct, multiple times.

Only when you apply for jobs can you expect to change your life for the better. So, you are on the right track! Don't turn away now.

"Only warriors fall in the battlefield, those on their knees fall never" - Urdu poetry

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Second, your interview performance is only a shadow of your abilities.

The outcome of an application is based on how one performs at the interview. So, instead of looking at the interview as a testament to your abilities, I would urge you to interpret it as lack of preparedness on your part.

Go back, evaluate how the interview went, which questions were hard for you, and what similar questions could be asked in the interviews for similar roles? There are only a finite type of questions you should expect at a job interview- and practicing them enough will boost your chances of getting selected.

"Failure doesn't mean you are a failure, it just means you haven't succeeded yet" - Robert Schuller

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Third, there may have been cultural differences at play.

Some of us- especially the knowledge workers- tend to think that if we are good at the hard skills, we will get that job offer. We don't realize that companies, by their very nature, are groups of people working together to achieve common goals. Companies are right to place a premium on applicants who are a 'cultural fit'. Loosely defined, a person is a cultural fit for the organization when they are likely to exhibit behaviors and values that are broadly followed in the organization.

Being rejected could partly be attributed to this aspect of your application. You probably came across as the kind who is too demure for that team, or too aggressive, or too quiet, or too loud. And trust me, you don't want to be hired in a team which operates with a different culture than the one you are going to be happy with. Your job success hinges on how people in your team behave with each other, and by extension, with you.

How do you find out more about the next company's culture and values? Companies like to talk about these on their websites and blogs. Another source of such information is current workers from such teams/organization. Try to pick on how these people talk about their work and themselves. If you get a good feeling about how they came across, you know you are more likely to be hired, will fit into the team, and survive the hard days.

"Culture is what motivates and retains talented employees" - Betty Thompson.

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Fourth, it surely was for the best!

If you were rejected, it was probably because you needed time to learn to express your abilities. Or, because you didn't fit the team's cultural expectations, or because you really needed to learn more at your current job, before you could let it go.

Either way, rejection with the right attitude, heralds your own growth- which is all we should be really striving for.

After a few rejections, you will finally get that new job. And you will know you deserve it. You will (and should) feel confident to go to work. It doesn't mean you should stop learning at the new job. Contrary to the fact, your rejections should teach you that you should not take learning lightly. Growth is our only hedge for the future.

"Whatever happens, happens for good" - Lord Krishna, Bhagvat Gita.

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Fifth, rejections happen not just in jobs, but in life too.

Your family, companions, work and fate can all reject you. Just like interview rejections are not a testament of your ability, rejections in any aspect of life aren't a testament of your essence as a person, or your intelligence, or potential.

Adulting is all about growing up from the days when most of us were protected by our parents. Rejection is an awakening, even though it is a rude one.

While a job rejection feels small compared to life's bigger problems, the ways you learn to recover from it can be applied to life too. So, if you are facing rejections, keep being vulnerable, keep having confidence in yourself and keep growing.

"You is smart, you is kind, you is important" - Aibileen Clark, The Help

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My perspective on rejections has been shaped by my experience in organizing interviews, interviewing candidates and being an interviewee myself.

I was a member of the Training and Placement Committee (now, Career Development Centre) at IIT Kharagpur. We saw many companies interview many candidates. I saw people getting rejected by one company, only to be accepted by another one later. To this day, I get people telling me how their final jobs were probably better for them, than the ones they were rejected from. After IIT Kharagpur, I kept volunteering to organize interviews at most of my jobs. These days, I interview internship applicants for my latest project.

Having been interviewed for about 20 jobs now, I have moved past most of my fear around reaching out and applying, and yet I quiver sometimes. So, I put an effort to make my interviewees feel comfortable before I start asking them any questions. I know it's not easy to apply for jobs, face rejections and still keep going. The least I can do is treat applicants with thoughtfulness.