Rejection Hurts: Do you practice self-compassion?

Nobody is immune to rejection.

From Michael Jordan to JK Rowling, rejection has been a part of their journey. Michael Jordan is someone famous not only for his basketball prowess but because of how he used multiple experiences of failure and rejection to boost himself to even greater heights. The story of him not making his high school basketball team has been retold time and again—that MJ was not selected for the varsity team and instead put in the junior varsity because of several strategic reasons. It was a crushing rejection for MJ, but he didn’t let it stop him from making the most of what opportunities he still had—being in Junior Varsity allowed him to play in the starting team, attracting more attention from recruiters in the process. He would then use the experience of rejection to fuel himself to keep going, until he got drafted into the University of North Carolina’s basketball team, and then to the NBA.

JK Rowling experienced a similar streak of rejection while trying to publish the Harry Potter novels. Around 12 publishers rejected the manuscript for what we know today as one of the most famous and lucrative literary franchises of all time. When one publishing agent wrote back and asked to see a copy of the Sorcerer’s Stone, JK Rowling found a small publisher who saw the book’s potential and was then propelled into international eyes. The Harry Potter novels then won several awards and captured the hearts of kids and even adults all over the world.

When you take a risk, ?there is always the possibility that you might not make the cut like Jordan, or not be good enough, like Rowling. However, that doesn’t mean you should stop seeing where the roads could still lead.

Any goal worth achieving will always make us vulnerable to rejection.?As much as we'd like everything to always go our way, that's not how the universe works. No one wants to experience rejection, but it soon occurs at some point in our lives. Unfortunately, it brings sadness, rage, or even feelings of "I am not good enough", which can be hard to forget. Rejection, given its highly emotional experience, creates strong memories to which we attach meaning. If not resolved, this emotional pain can last for decades.

While it's not fun, there are ways to deal with the rejection so that it doesn't hurt as much.

The first one is by practicing self-compassion. Constantly beating yourself up after rejection can affect your mental well-being, health, and relationships. In fact, it's a form of self-bullying.

If you can be kind to others - why not yourself?

Research shows that self-compassion can reduce stress, increase empathy, and make you happier. The first step is to not punish yourself for things you cannot control. Secondly, forgiving yourself and not letting others make you feel bad. Lastly, treating yourself as you would treat a friend is essential. This means you love and respect yourself just as you would respect a friend.

Rejection is a natural part of our lives, so embrace it!