Rejection and failure - a leader’s pathway out

There’s something liberating about hitting rock bottom.

Or I should say, the liberating feeling comes after hitting the bottom part.?

No one likes the slippery fall and horrendous thud.?

You know the one. Where everything feels bleak, and you’re at a loss.

Having worked for so long with leaders, I’ve seen many of them go through amazing highs.

And equally devastating lows.

Marriage break ups, business bust ups, rejection, and crippling self doubt.

It’s not great.

Much better is when we’re focused and feel like we are making progress. This is incredibly energising.

The downward slide of negative results, rejection, and all their cousins of despair, is disheartening to say the least.

So what is a leader to do?

Rock bottom is not the end. It’s the beginning.

In my second book Moments - Leadership when it matters most, ‘rock bottom’ is one of the critical moments we can experience.?

Rock bottom moments can be crucibles.

A crucible is a vessel that is heated to great temperatures to melt metals. It’s a metaphor for a trial or ordeal by which a person is transformed

In my book, I say:

“To emerge from a crucible stronger and better for it, there is one essential skill needed: the ability to craft a narrative about the experience.

This is the ability to make sense of the senseless and be able to craft a story about the challenges we faced,

how we met them, and how we became better individuals and better leaders as a result.”

So when we hit rock bottom, what then?

“What we really need to let go of is our own self critical voice. When we let this voice drift away, we can hear the deeply resonant one that resides within. This is the deep voice of true awareness, of pure appreciation, of exquisite love of all life, and living.? We let go of the stories of disappointment and of shame, and we look with new eyes upon a world that is written ever present with joy and beauty. Losing everything we thought was important is the gift. We discover everything we ever wanted was always there, to be experienced now.”

Here are some helpful frames to pivot at rock bottom

Letting Go Thoughts

What does hanging onto this negative emotion keep me from doing?

What might my life look like without these thoughts?

What am I prepared to let go of in order to be free?

Acceptance Thoughts

This too shall pass.

When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose.

Being uncomfortable is OK.

When I have nothing, I still have a choice: I can choose how to think, how to feel, what I focus on. I can choose fear or faith – it’s up to me.

What Is Possible Thoughts

The only way out is up.

What is there in my life that I can appreciate?

What is there in my life I can be grateful for?

What can I learn from this?

What might be good about this?

What one thing can I do about this?

What do I want instead?

Hitting rock bottom allows us to let go of something that wasn’t working for us.?

And in the letting go, we allow for something new.

About Zo? Routh, Canberra leadership futurist

Zo? Routh is a leadership futurist, podcaster, and multiple award-winning author. She works with leaders and teams to explore what's coming and what it means for leadership of the future.

She has worked with individuals and teams internationally and in Australia since 1987. From wild Canadian rivers to the Australian Outback, and the Boardroom jungles, Zo? is an adventurist! She facilitates strategy and culture for the future with audacious teams.

Zo?'s fourth leadership book, People Stuff - Beyond Personality Problems: An advanced handbook for leadership, won the Book of the Year at the Australian Business Book Awards in 2020. Her fifth book is a leadership futurist science fiction dystopian novel, The Olympus Project.

Zo? is the producer of the Zo? Routh Leadership Podcast, dedicated to asking “What if…?”? and sharing big ideas on the Future of Leadership.

Zo? is an outdoor adventurist and enjoys telemark skiing, has run 6 marathons, is a one-time belly-dancer, has survived cancer, and loves hiking in the high country. She is married to a gorgeous Aussie and is a self-confessed dark chocolate addict.