Rejected but Resilient - who's with me?

Rejection & Resilience

The stars and planets aligned over the last few days to inspire me to focus this week’s topic on something we’re all familiar with (whether you're seeking a job or not).

Last Friday I attended a session (in person) at the PSG (Professional Service Group) of Mercer County (Princeton, NJ). The guest speaker was LaPora Lindsey and the topic was "The Advantages of Rejection" (by the way she did a fantastic job - I attached a link to the presentation and you can view it on YouTube).

The very word (rejection) has become so harsh (by today’s overly sensitive standards) that I’ve heard people in job search meetings try and come up with alternate synonyms to give it a softer, more acceptable reception. For our purposes today, let's call it what it is.

#Rejection is something that ALL of us have faced during our lifetime. It starts early in our lives. It can be in a playgroup when we’re young. It can occur at any level of school (“kids don’t want to be friends with me”). It continues in school in extra-curricular activities (trying out for a sports team, a role in the school play, student government elections, etc.). Rejection is taken personally (no matter how many times we’re told not to take it personally). Rejection is real and it stings.

When we move into discussions of job search, rejection is an unfortunate, but necessary aspect of the process (no participation trophies are awarded). But, even companies don’t like rejecting people. They dress up the notes they send back to us with encouraging words. They recommend that we check back and continue to apply for other positions. They invite us to join their “talent community”.?Most companies respond (if at all) with those familiar phrases we all know, i.e., “Your qualifications are impressive, but we’re moving forward with candidates that more closely fit the requirements of the position” (or similar).

What's Your Most Memorable Job or Job Search-Related Rejection?

Here's mine: In late 2001 following a layoff from a tradeshow company (that was first impacted by the dot com bubble burst, then later by 9/11) I interviewed for a position at a company where it was down to two candidates – myself and one other person. I recall in November of that year that I was in NJ (I lived in Massachusetts at the time) on a job search-related trip, and I received a call from the hiring manager. He wanted to call me personally to let me know that I DID NOT get the position (he thought enough of me that he wanted to let me know himself - a very nice gesture, although I don't remember receiving it all that well at the time!). Now, that was real rejection (and dejection). It was particularly difficult – not because I loved the position so much, but because I didn’t have anything else lined up. I had a wife that was home with our kids that were two and four years old in a house that had a mortgage, and I wasn’t sure when my next opportunity was going to be coming along (FYI - it took until March the following year, and it was probably a better situation than the one I was rejected for).

How about you? Do you remember your job search-related rejections, and if so, what made it memorable?

Chasing down the rejection

Has this ever happened to you? You interview for a position. You wait and wait and wait and wait some more. Then you reach out to contact the company, and you can’t get a response. It’s not that you’re seeking rejection, you’d just like some closure to the situation. I've found that receiving a rejection in a situation like this is never welcome, but more of a relief. I suppose their policy may be that they won't send rejection notes out until the position has been filled and the individual starts, and that could be what contributes to a lengthy delay.

Is there such a thing as having fun with rejection?

How about when we were back in college? We were young, stupid, and had the whole world in front of us. There was a big deal being made about collecting rejection letters from companies that students were applying to in their senior year. It was a lot of fun back then (including rejection parties) because we had no responsibility (and we hadn't started our careers yet).

Now what about the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) being rejected?

Yes. I am referring to Tom Brady. At this point the story is well known, but what the heck? In 2000 the New England Patriots had a franchise quarterback who had just signed a new contract and looked like he was going to stay with the Patriots his entire career (Drew Bledsoe). In the NFL draft that year the Patriots selected, with pick #199, a tall kid from California that had played his college ball at the University of Michigan. That kid, of course was Tom Brady. To think that 198 other players were selected that year before Brady is incredible. That means Brady was rejected (technically) 198 times. Now, being selected at #199 offered no guarantee of making the roster or of starting (but that's a whole other topic).

This brings me to the other aspect of this week’s topic: #RESILIENCE

For those of us that are currently in or have been in a career transition in the past the images of dandelions popping up every year is very fitting (one of the images on the title slide). Regardless of what you do to remove them, they are a resilient weed. This Spring I’ve also noticed another form of resilient vegetation, and this one a flower, and that’s the daffodil. Not only are they a prime choice to be displayed in your neighbor’s yard, but they also turn up in some interesting places. I spotted these on a recent walk and bike ride around where I live. Now that's resilience!

To those of us that are currently pursuing new employment opportunities, resilience really is our hidden “superpower”. We may have the skills required/desired that we can showcase to a prospective employer. But, our most impressive trait is how we handle the rejection that comes our way and use it as “fuel” to enable us to bounce back and continue our search.

For those of you working, resilience while you're in your company is important too. Think of any time you were up for a promotion, tried to get a new job within your company, or were shot down for wanting to try something new or different. How you handle it and bounce back from the disappointment of rejection might be something that your management group is paying close attention to, so handle it well and with great resilience!

Happy Passover, Happy Easter, and have a great weekend!

Dave

About Dave Shultis

I am a senior level B2B marketing and product management professional with experience in the life science/med device/manufacturing space. My focus is on a return to a leadership (formal or informal) role where coaching and mentoring a team or working with a cross-functional team is a component of the position. This could be in the form of a marketing director, a group product director or as an individual contributor in a senior product management capacity.

When not in pursuit of my next opportunity you can find me biking in and around New Jersey (I'm thinking about a 100 mile ride this weekend) or trying to get my 15k steps in per day (I have a 260+ day streak going).