Reinvent Your Relationship with Fear

"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life."

~John Lennon

Change is terrifying. The unknown, unfamiliar territory, the knowledge you don't even know, all that you don't know, can be unnerving. Sometimes though, you know you need to make a change. You know things will certainly not get better if you don't act. But again, change is scary. What do you do? Luckily, there's a lot you can do.

Decide Your Risk: List out what you are risking. Make a list of everything you are afraid of giving up (potentially or for sure) if you make this change. Consider the value of the items on that list as you go. Are you risking more than your potential rewards?

Imagine Your Future (If You Change): Take time to close your eyes and envision your future with the change. Consider all aspects of your life that will be affected by the change. Is this a life you want? Do you see good things happening?

Imagine Your Future (If You Don't Change): Consider your future life if you don't make that change. Do you see yourself being happy? Do you see the same old same old? Now, consider the outcomes of both futures you have imagined. Does one seem better? Does one have more opportunities for happiness? Be honest with these imagined futures.

Recruit Help: Change is scary and challenging, but you do not have to go it alone. Recruit the essential people in your life to support you through these changes. They can be a partner, friend, parent, or anyone willing to give advice, a shoulder, or help fill in the gaps in other areas of your life as you go through the transitions.

?Start Small: You do not have to jump in with both feet on your first attempt at making changes. Start small if you need or want to. Minor changes can add up to make significant differences and will allow you to do things at your own pace.

Give Yourself Grace: Mistakes happen. Missteps are taken. Balls are dropped. Give yourself some grace as you traverse this new territory and find your way on your journey of change.

Taking the plunge and pushing yourself into much-needed change does not have to be an all-or-nothing situation; you do not have to go it alone. Consider the steps you need to take and how you can set yourself up for success when change is on the horizon.

For many of us, the thought of change brings about feelings of fear. Often, when in the face of significant changes, fear can paralyze us, which is a problem. However, significant changes are going to occur in our lives consistently. So when fear stops you in your tracks, take a few moments to consider the following approaches to help you conquer your fear, make a pivot or two, and move forward.?

Trust Yourself: Reflect on your life, consider the changes you have made, and how you dealt with them and still thrived. You've survived difficult things before; you can do it again. So have faith in yourself and face change like the stellar person you are.

Start Small: You do not have to climb the mountain of change in one step. When a significant change is brewing, conquer that change by breaking it down into small steps that you can tackle one by one. This tactic will make everything seem more manageable and less scary.

Stop Researching: Once you've done your research and are aware of what is coming, stop searching and take action. Trust that you will make the best decisions. It's easy to convince ourselves that we need more information. But you will never have all the information. No one can! So stop procrastinating and take action.

Remember the Journey: When we face changes, sometimes all we see is the finish line. However, it's vital to look at the journey itself and consider all the new skills we'll learn, the people we'll meet, and the growth we'll experience along the way. So let's shift our focus from the finish line to the adventure of this new journey we get to go on.

Make an Effort: Making a successful change is not a passive process. Instead, we need to make an effort, contribute, and actively work to make the best of every situation. When we're afraid of what is to come, making an effort will give us agency and influence how things go.

While real, fear isn't always the monster, we imagine lurking under our bed. But fear does come about when we experience the inability to know how life will turn out. So the next time you find yourself petrified by fear, stop and take a minute to reflect on what you have to offer the situation and how you can make the most of it.

I’m?helping social impact organizations Thrive in Chaos by providing the mindsets, skillsets, and toolsets leaders need to make an impact and organizations need to be sustainable. You can find more useful insights at The Ampersand, on Instagram,?and?on LinkedIn.