Reimagining Possibilities

Introduction

The last year has been one of the most transformative years of my life, and one for which I am truly grateful for having experienced! I have weathered the storms of unemployment followed by bootcamp-style training courses, enjoyed the excitement of landing an amazing new role as a scrum master, and taking the time to process the loss of that new role due to layoffs this Spring. I have also leaned into my personal life, looking for new ways of showing up and supporting my friends and family, while remembering that I need to do the same for myself as well. In this article, I will discuss different techniques I use to help navigate difficult situations, focusing on ways to stay positive, resilient, and grateful!

Slow Down to Heal

The first step in processing trauma is just that, process it. Allow yourself the time and space to reflect on whatever it is that has happened, and feel what you need to feel. If you rush this process or bypass it altogether, it will inevitably continue to resurface until you deal with it, however difficult and painful that may be. I usually tend to be a fixer, a problem-solver who works to address problems head-on whenever possible. Though not necessarily a "bad" trait, the quick-fix approach does not serve us well when initially processing a traumatic event. After we allow time for healing and reflection, then YES, let's see how we can work through this!

It's important to remember that allowing ourselves the time to recover and reflect, we also give ourselves an opportunity to reflect on who we are and who we want to be on the other side of this adversity. For example, in the wake of being laid off, I gave myself about a month to process what had happened and begin to think about how I want to position myself during my job search. Had I not allowed myself the time to do this, I would simply be going through the motions of trying to replace my income, instead of focusing on how I can grow and better position myself to be successful and happy in the next stage of my journey.

Embrace what you Have

Resiliency is key to this to process! However, you do not become resilient by telling yourself that you are fine just need to be strong (I promise you, that does not work). You can't just say...

"In order to heal and move forward, I have to not take things personally and stay positive, that will make me resilient"

Resiliency is developed through of a process (this is a process newsletter after all, had to squeeze that in somewhere ??). Some of the foundational ways we build resiliency is by:

• Changing how we view things (reframing a negative situation into a positive one)
• Not taking things personally, but still reflecting on how we might improve
• Being grateful for all the things we DO have
• Focusing on what we can do rather than what we can't do
• Regularly checking in with ourselves to make sure we are ok, and being honest with ourselves when we are not!
• Remaining mindful and present

Of course, there many ways to build resiliency far beyond the techniques listed above. The key takeaway is to approach it as a process, understanding that this process is not linear, and is different for everyone. I am far more resilient today than I was just a few years ago, yet I still enjoy discovering new ways to further develop my resiliency, which I have found directly affects my level confidence and therefore my ability to remain positive. This is something that is practiced and learned over time, so be patient (and resilient if you can) while you learn resiliency.