Find Satisfaction in Yourself
Lawrence J Danks
Assistant Professor of Business - Camden County College (Retired 1/1/25)
"We all begin to die from the moment we are born. Some do it faster than others. All we can do is enjoy our lives." - My Voice Will Go With You: The Teaching Tales of Milton H. Erickson (Famous psychiatrist) - Commentary by Sidney Rosen
Arianna Huffington reported that "The Onion" had a headline saying: 'Death Rate Remains Steady At 100%'. It's something we'll all have to face eventually. One way to measure how good our life is going is to ask ourselves if we knew we were going to die in three months, what we have regretted not doing? For most of us, we're going to have more time than that, so we should get on with getting those things done. Pythagoras provides a good guide for this:
"What have I learned
Where 'er I've been
From all I've heard, from all I've seen?
What know I more worth the knowing?
What have I done that's worth doing? What have I sought that I should shun?
What duties have I left undone?"
It's the undone things at the end that can cause the greatest regrets, so by doing what we know we should do in life, we simultaneously prepare ourselves for a more meaningful and peaceful passing. As the English poet Ted Hughes commented: "The only thing people regret is that they didn't live boldly enough, that thy didn't invest enough heart, didn't love enough. Nothing else counts at all." (adapted from Thrive - Arianna Huffington)
Much of my elementary school involved playing sports with about a dozen guys I grew up with, and listening to other kids make jokes about my father's funeral business: "Hey Gus (my nickname), your Dad's the last man to let you down", being called "Digger O'Dell" as a younger kid, and on and on. Everyone would say it as if it was the first time I heard it. It wasn't. Of course, most of us have no immediate plans to die. We join Milton Erickson in saying, "I have no intention to die. In fact, it's the last thing I'll do!" But the more we've accomplished that's meaningful to us, the less frustrating it will be. That's partially why we have to keep trying to find satisfaction in ourselves.