Regarding Domestic Violence, Can We Ditch Taglines?
I get it, taglines are provocative, sexy and elicit reactions. They are great for marketing, engagement and clicks. Coke’s ‘It’s the Real Thing’ and Nike’s ‘Just Do It’ are enduring classics. However, there is a difference between using taglines to sell sugary drinks and discussing critical social topics such as domestic violence where they can be counterproductive and possibly even harmful.?
Two I’ve seen recently are; ‘Abuse is Abuse’, and ‘Violence is Violence’. While the sentiment is good, that being, when men abuse their partners we shouldn’t tolerate any excuses, abuse is abuse and violence is violence. However, the problem is, that many women are also abusive and violent.
A meta-analysis by Archer (2000) in the Psychological Bulletin found that women were slightly more likely than men to use physical aggression in relationships, but men were more likely to inflict injury. I’ve met many women who acknowledged they had abused their male partner, often stating that they initiated it. If we adhere to ‘Abuse is Abuse’, and ‘Violence is Violence’ then these and many more women should be locked up. The tragedy is, that many have been, misidentified as domestic violence perpetrators, particularly Aboriginal women. A Western Australian study suggests up to 90% of?incarcerated Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women were survivors of family and other violence (Wilson, M. et al.).
Recently I spoke with a woman whose partner is currently jailed for high-level domestic violence. Amongst the many other terrible things he did to her, he held knives to her throat and threatened to injure her with power tools. She attempted to leave several times but he would find her and it would worsen. The last time he found where she was staying and went there, she preventively hit him with a bat and ended up being charged. With no money, resources or support, she was convicted of assault. Yes, she initiated the assault, but under fear for her life after years of abuse from him. Context is key.
In a men’s group, a large participant (120kg) was describing, in a humorous manner, how his partner (60kg) was hitting and hitting him. I asked him what he was doing while this assault was occurring, he said he was smiling at her. I then asked him, if he was in a fit of rage and was violently hitting her, what would she be doing? The room went quiet, they understood. Yes, his partner was violent and abusive, but there was a tremendous power differential that made her actions desperate and ineffective. After the session, the man left the family home, which often happens in men’s behaviour change programs once the men realise that staying puts them at risk and is unsafe for them, their partner and children. This is a good thing.?
Why am I writing this? Because domestic violence is complex and needs more than a tagline to do it justice. Many social media influencers are leveraging the current popularity of domestic violence to spark a reaction from readers, such as Abuse is Abuse, and Violence is Violence. Ask any police officer, social worker or practitioner working in the field, it is rarely as simple as that. Often victims spurn the support of those who are trying to help them and willingly go back to the one who abuses them. The intimate nature of domestic violence sets it apart from other violence and is why it destroys the victim’s sense of self and their values. Everyone in the family suffers.?
This is an important topic so continue to read articles by organisations and people working directly in the field and be cautious of those offering simple solutions and slogans. Educate yourself on the signs of domestic abuse and how you can support those who may be enduring it. Two good resources are;?
REFERENCES
Archer, J. (2000). Sex differences in aggression between heterosexual partners: A meta-analytic review.?Psychological Bulletin, 126(5), 651–680.?https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.126.5.651
Wilson, M., Jones, J., Butler, T., Simpson, P., Gilles, M., Baldry, E., Levy, M., & Sullivan, E. (2017). Violence in the Lives of Incarcerated Aboriginal Mothers in Western Australia.?SAGE Open,?7(1), 215824401668681. https://doi.org/10.1177/2158244016686814
Psychic & Emotional Energetic Healer @annadaisy.com & IG @anna_daisy16 Plus Public Speaking with a passion & to empower all Warriors to claim their birthright of happiness ?? Creating equal energy for everyone ??
6 个月I just read your article and it’s well written on such a delicate subject. People’s lives are so important and we need to all feel safe as that’s when we can find our own personal purpose. I actually find we have a few advertisements in Tasmania with beautiful women being paraded in a men’s shed situation .. in skimpy shorts talking about work tools. Have no issue with women talking about anything, but the add is highly suggestive and bad taste. I cringe and luckily enough I’m at the age where advertisements drive me crazy. Actually have turned into my Grandparents. We really have to get serious. We are all still learning and stumbling with language at times, but moving forward is the only way. I so resonated with a male beibg 120 kg and a woman being 60kg, not acceptable and a body power in balance. Well done Grant ????