Refuse Manipulation; Take Responsibility

I love reading Paulo Coelho. I remember having read "The Witch of Portobello" in which I found these wonderful words:

"No one can manipulate anyone else. In any relationship both the parties know what they are doing, even if one of them complains later on that they were used.”         

I read them again and again and again and I got stuck. I am sure that you too read them at least twice. You had to. You get compelled to. Because in these words you do see, hear and feel some portion of you. Each one of us some or the other time feel like getting used or being exploited by someone out there.

What we generally do? When we find ourselves helpless due to our own compulsions we choose to remain quiet and continue to suffer knowing well that we are being manipulated and someone else is getting benefited. We choose not to fight for ourselves because we assume that those who manipulate are powerful. And we quietly wear a mask and pretend things to be alright and smooth. People see what we show them. A smiling happy face with all the turmoil hidden inside!

Then a time comes when we can't take it no more and we tend to start blaming and complaining and we become vocal in expressing our grievances. We forget that we had permitted the person not to forgive us for the mistakes s/he had been doing to us. Take a pause, read the last sentence again. I repeat it here: We forget that we had permitted the person not to forgive us for the mistakes s/he had been doing to us. We forget that we had chosen to stay stuck caught in the trap and that we had chosen not to hear, see or feel about it.

Well, if you are experiencing any situation like that then I say it out loud so that I can be heard:  Get out of the trap of your own limiting beliefs, your own helplessness, your self-created quagmire and grow and flap the shining wings of your confidence to take a flight to feel the freedom and to explore new skies. 

Or accept what is happening. Take responsibility of having chosen the circumstances and feel comfortable with them. Do not be hard on yourself by blaming or complaining about someone else for your circumstances. Because by doing that you not only show to the world your own helplessness but also create a weak self-image. Wait for the right time and keep working on yourself and make a move when you feel stronger.

I recall spending many years in the jail of my own mind. I was scared and I recall having written a haiku in a situation of utter helplessness:

"Vast blue space; my wings are still Incomplete..."

And then a day came when I stood straight, unburdened myself by removing those who were sitting on my shoulders so that their height increased.  I said to myself:

“ I am aware. I am confident. I choose. None can manipulate me without my consent any more. If I am manipulated than I know it. I can change the situation any day. I am not going to get trapped in making excuses & blaming others. I will act and ensure that I am heard. I will work with my convictions. I take responsibility of my own circumstances.”

And I took a plunge and started completing my wings as I was falling down. Now, a few years ahead with none given any power to manipulate me and armored with an ignited soul that keeps me fired-up, I keep exploring newer skies of unlimited possibilities. A true freedom that had always eluded me.

We all deserve to live free. We can't ask life what it is doing for us. This is a question that life asks us - "What are you doing for me?" We can only do one thing - we can choose to give it respect by confidently getting out of the clutches of any manipulative minds who might have overpowered us with their tricks and psychological games.

It will however need practice to build that confidence. You will have to start by saying NO when you need to say NO. You will have to take responsibility for the consequences and face them willingly. Doesn't matter where you are. Any moment can be the starting point. Stand up for yourself. Make a beginning. An unburdened happy life awaits for you with its extended arms. Let it embrace you. With best wishes...

RS

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