Refugee reality... and numbers

I put this out last night (3/8/2022) at about midnight (on another social media page). It was a long day so take it how you will.

***

I was going to write the end of the day "thank yous," but I guess it's never the end of the day anymore, and everything just seems to run on and run together. But here are my thoughts... for what they're worth.

I keep seeing politicians and companies and "brands" post (albeit mostly on another social media site) about "standing with Ukraine" or being in "full support of the Ukrainian people." It's constant. It's... again and again and again. It's also irritating.

But being either stupid or simply incredibly naive (especially at my age) I tried confronting a few such companies today with concrete requests, and apart from a few hotels or the efforts of individuals in the hotel business I have received no answers. Only mantras like "we are dealing in bigger numbers" or "we have a special team on this." Or "we are in the planning stages." One guy even told me he's on it but at the same time he's too busy to get into the day-to-day.

Now to be fair, maybe it's me. I am not a salesman.

But...

The day-to-day, he said.

I kid you not.

Meanwhile, I am also reading--like many of you--about how companies are cutting off Russia. Closing the SWIFT gate, etc.

Well, let's read between the lines. Some of the largest companies that made announcements today had carefully worded statements along the lines of "no future investments." OK, it's something. But this is NOT the same as cutting off business. As in ongoing business. Other statements gave actual dates with regard to stopping foreign transactions (as in tomorrow) so this gives quite a few wealthy... compatriots time to get out.

And finally, with regard to "standing with Ukraine" or "supporting the Ukrainian people" or "we are dealing in bigger numbers," let me tell you a story.

Tonight a volunteer whom has driven to the border and back for me; whom has gone on her own to the "mini-camps"--i.e. to the collection halls--encountered a poor woman who was quiet and determined and sitting with her only friend in Poland, a small chihuahua of a dog. The woman had been down in the Expo center for a couple of days. This is a large hall. Open and not particularly warm and certainly there is no privacy, and it's likely not ideal for anyone, much less a tiny dog. At any rate, said volunteer, Iga, called me and asked if I could find somewhere for this woman and this tiny dog, and yeah, we went at it and I'm sure I bugged the hell out of some of you along the way.

But the fact is that it is very hard to place a dog--especially a small dog. First, families in the smaller communities have bigger dogs, which very well might bite or kill a Chihuahua. Second, many families with homes are quite willing to take in families, but they are worried that their own children might tease the dog and then get bitten. So between juggling and calls maybe six of us, including Magda P. and friends, the good woman Dorota (thanks, Andy Eddles!) who works for the town of Milanowek; David M., Rob M., Noela (Aleks's friend) and also, apparently, Noela's mom, Beata T. Ogierd (can't remember his last name!) and probably a few others I know desperately tried to find somewhere to put this poor woman and her dog.

Meanwhile, Iga told me she was not going to leave this lady to spend another night in that center.

Dammit. I'll be the first to admit I was not too thrilled about this.

But there was more. Iga also said that she and Julia communicated by using Google translate on their telephones. Pretty smart. I wouldn't have thought about that. And every once in a while she told me a bit about "Yulia." She was from Kharkiv. She was a hairdresser.

Right, right. I'm trying to solve a puzzle here.

"She is really nice and her dog sleeps most of the time."

Great. I get it. We're all trying, believe me.

So we all kept making calls, and dammit, nobody wanted this woman and this little dog. Well, not quite nobody. Three families were willing: Noela's (and Aleks, you were right--Noela is one of the nicest people I have ever spoken with). But Noela has 25 kg dogs. Probably not the best idea, but she said they could try. I imagined the probably outcome, decided it was best not to traumatize the owner of a soon-to-be-eaten Chihuahua and scratched that one off. Then there was Rob M.'s mother (or mother's friend--sorry can't quite remember). No prob, probably, but she has like (literally) 12 bulldogs. Trauma city there. So we scratched than one off.

Then there was Chris and Kasia H. They were quite worried for the dog (and maybe still are), and they have a little boy who might just be a bit too energetic. I decided to hold them in reserve.

Meanwhile, Iga sat with this poor woman. Sat and waited when other destinations--even far away destinations like Nowy Sacz were also scratched off the list. I confess I thought about just telling Iga to ask this woman to hang for another day.

Iga wasn't up for that.

I also confess that the search became the goal. Honestly, so many people call or send messages to all of us (and by that I mean to everyone in Poland trying to do this--and there are a lot of us now) that you just cannot keep up. You start thinking about this as solving a riddle, beating the clock. Then there is another one, and it's hard to get away from the phone and the computer (and honestly, most of the time you don't meet any of the people you are trying to help). Finally, I figured we were beat. I didn't know the woman from Adam, but I do know Iga and I just couldn't leave here there any longer. I called Chris and Kasia H. and they agreed.

Thanks God.

Then Iga, as she does, kept me informed. They were off and driving. They were almost there. And finally "they were safe."

Sounds trite--a phrase like that. "They were safe." I kind of chuckled over it and then I read what else Iga wrote and understood the woman was quiet for a reason. .

"Her apartment building got destroyed by a rocket/bomb today."

I read it gain.

Her apartment was destroyed by a rocket today.

As of today, Yulia and her tiny dog have nowhere to return to.

No, this was no longer a riddle. Or a problem to be solved. This was Yulia and her dog. With nowhere else to go.

Which brings me back to how I started. These mega companies, developers, IT giants--I don't want to hear or read another word about "standing with Ukraine" or how "your heart is with the Ukrainian people." I don't want to hear about banks being outraged and gradually cutting off SWIFT. Hell, I'm in the business of tracing laundered money. Maybe we should name every freaking bank that has enabled the dictatorships in Belarus and Russia. Or here's a harder one: maybe we should try to name the ones that did not.

And maybe these mega companies should just spend dividends on actually building or renovating homes for these people. You made your money--and don't tell me the "global economy" did not involve Russia--so do something about it. Or don't. Maybe they don't want your money after all.

But spare me--spare us all--with the vague and glorious posts of solidarity. That is called using a war to promote your brand. That is called acting as a WAR PROFITEER. If you have a press release along the lines of "we built this many apartments" or "we flew this many people to Ireland," great. Good on you. But the rest is bullshit. It's unethical and you should be ashamed.

And don't tell me about big numbers. Yulia is not a number. Her dog is not a number. The million-and-a-half refugees are not a number. They are real people sitting in a hall with their children or friends or even their little dog and they have lost more than they can bear.

And Iga Jankowska is not a number either. She taught me a lesson and made me realize why we--and that means the majority of the Poles I know (and most of the expats too)--are trying so hard to make a dent in this never ending tragedy. Poles already knew the answer here. Their grandparents and parents taught them well. For the rest of us--well, we've been lucky. For most expats war and deprivation are an abstract. But in the end the abstract means nothing. The abstract is irrelevant.

THESE PEOPLE are the day-to-day. The details. The only thing that counts.

Yulia. And her dog.

Slava Ukraini, dammit. For maybe these are dark, dark times, but the courage of Ukrainians--as well as the effort and the friendships being made today--are of the kind that wakes a man from sleep; that makes him reconsider and repent and change.

And maybe save his very soul.

But if that's too soppy and maudlin for you...

Vladimir Putin is a son-of-a-bitch.