Reflex or re-flect

re-act or respond to a situation.

Are you re-acting as in automatically doing the 3 options of 3 F | fight, flight, freeze? OR are you aware of how to

create A SPACE BETWEEN STIMULI AND RESPONSE? By doing so, creating a space between what happens and

you responding accordingly – you need to be able to reflect before reacting. Can you? We are going to work on

that.. deliberately.

THE TAXI story as illustration

NOW? Do you control - that? Your life`s living..

Who are you? What do you DO? The answer – how do you do – might be the answer to who – you are.

Who are you? Have you asked yourself that lately? I work with THAT question every awake moment, professionally

and privately.

Who are you?

What do I feel – and why? What is my response – and why? Is that who I am – my response pattern, my response

routine, if you may? All I know is that I am the way – the process – of me – by living, and adjusting, accordingly, or

more or less – deliberately, to what ever happens to, around – me.

So.

What is the reflection on that – road of words. Where do they lead?

If life is like a journey, all that you do, experienced you collect on the way, grow to be an intricate part of your life, of

you, or not? I believe so.

The 3 C are the platform for - the process you just started.

You have a clear end goal – XXXX,

which might, probably are going to take all your life, you got a place you want to grow towards.

So – step by step, you go, the road ahead, you are reaching your small steps of goal. Step by step the journey is

telling you, giving you feedback, on how you are growing.

In the end of the journey, close, or even ON the top – you die, and your dying words, thoughts, are? Yes, I made it –

my life had meaning?

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

MORMOROREMROER

Or – you start reflecting, the last breath you are laying there taking – makes you reflect, and regret, on the things,

the journey you just been on – that you actually don’t really been a part of – you where to focused on the end – that

made you forget the now you always were in.

You did not take the focus-time to reflect, to be – in NOW.

The opposite approach – process focus of | same 3C + Goal + Feedback

3 c is the same – you are taking control of the things you can, and you set a plan, and you break the plan into

feedback-giving steps, but you stop, routinely to reflect on what is growing on.

Things like;

When something happens around you – what is your response?

Do you react – without thinking – reflexes?

Or do you reflect – think – then respond to the stimuli in hand?

You have a choice – how to respond, do you give yourself the appropriate power of Agency or not?

Who were you?

The end result – is not there, because if you take a bit more DELIBERATE approach to life, all you do, is NOW, and

if you reflect and live in each breath you take – THEN the life you live is the goal of the life you live. The process

feeling you get - when reaching the steps, is dopamine-moments of happiness – is for some, known as FLOW. Flow

is how you grow:-D

IF you are self-aware, REALLY self-aware, you are living in the deepest of you, constantly, and routinely. Like this.

I am aware – that I am my habits.

I am my reaction. What people see, and acknowledge me to be – is what they see.

I am my habits, and the deepest set of habits is my ability to control my first response to any stimuli.

I am in control of how I respond to ANYTHING IN ANY SITUATION always.

Famous people have said things like “there is a space between stimuli and response” – which too me, and my living

way – is then creating the consciousness that everything I do – is a choice. I am the master of my own response; I

am in power of the first response to any stimuli. I have the power of my agency (stimuli-response process).

What?

I am in control, I decide how I respond, always. At least I can choose – how I set myself up for having a possibility to

control my all responses, by optimising my response staring point – my energy level.

When it comes to the ability to control yourself – you should be aware of that energy is what decides what your

response to things are.

IF you have enough energy to keep calm – you can decide anything. BUT if you lack energy your response-system

is harder to control, and reflexes takes over – when extreme situations happen to you.

A few words of reflections on research on your core-response system, your reflexes – when and how they operate.

Normally I would have, and for many years I thought – my reflexes are not to be controlled, that was until I reflected

and trained myself up to start taking control of extreme situations that happened around me.

Slowly, over years, I learned, became more and more aware of the reflexes – that we HAVE if we understand the

origin of the control potential we have, or not – from energy as starting point.

THE BIOLOGICAL core of = response on stimuli, is up to you to do, your way.

Mindfulness – now, is?

To be mindful of the now – and learn how to be sensitive enough to respond to more and more seemingly

uncontrollable situations, when things, in extreme situations like an accident happen and you wake up in the middle

of it – or you crash from someone driving into you from outside your possibility to see the situation – and you can

only find yourself in the stimuli of EXTRME FIRE in your brain. You are in a situation where you find yourself – in

reflex territory – meaning that before you could not take control of the situation and your reflexes where you – you

were defined by the fact that you were not in control of the response system – you just happened to find yourself in a

reflex take control over your response.

NOW – over time, and from experience of mastery, I have grown more and more in control over extreme situational

responses.

I am, slowly growing - a person that handles also extreme situations – slower, calmer, than most people. But the

journey never ends;-D

And, since that fact, the deliberate calm person I am showing myself to others, more and more like – I am changing

the image people have of me. I am habitually growing myself a new, deliberately a bit more calmer image.

Deliberately I taken control of the biological core of me – I am, someone that choose my response, reflectively and

not reflex-based.

This, to grow an awareness and ability to not only slow the extreme-situations down, have made me more in control

of the response-system that is me. I am calmer.

How? Story-illustration.

The buffer of taking control over the interpretation of stimuli start – that I don’t say I have to fight-flight-freeze now | I

can interpret this options-set differently, by wording a control buffer of words.

“Stop”.

When something happens – this is my first response, my first conscious response.

“What can I do with this”.

This being the situation in hand. I set a buffer stopping, slowing down the situation by buying myself a few

houndreds part of a thousand-part of a second.

Stop – what can I do with this = my inner talk when something happens

The story starts in the middle of the street..

Early morning, the weather is dark-ish, rain, a bit dark, but there are street lights on the road, the cross-road I am in

the middle of..

A taxi comes towards me – he has not seen me yet, he cut off the main road, to his right, onto the side street I was

crossing

I am in the middle of the street..

Stop – what can I do with this = not run (not time), stop (physically slow down my directional-movement), wait – one

or two seconds, and based on what happens in these 2 seconds – I then see my options | which I have 2 seconds to

build

The 2 seconds that is SLOWLY GOING IN MY HEAD =

While the taxi driver “wakes up and suddenly (for him) see me “– I see it in the big steering panicking eyes that he

has WHEN he finally see me – I have found out that IF he keeps running the car towards me I can lift my legs and

lean onto the front of the car, and with a little jump I can avoid him breaking my bones and drive into my hip are and

the rest of my body

Instead of that

I stand there – 30 centimetres from the front of the car – and the taxi suddenly stopped – and I can keep going –

slowly, over the street while the taxi driver lean his head back towards the seat he is in – and as I go past the driver

side window, a meter a way – he lower his window and says, with shaking voice

– “I am so sorry I did not see you at all”

Being me – filled with a bit of dopamine – I only uttered.

“Idiot”.

No big emotional movement – other than that.

And as I was walking up the pavement on the side of the road – on the other side of the road – I was on my way,

back in my head I already had moved my attention to –

Now

Being in the now, then, I remember thinking

“I should write this situation down”

– I thought, and here the story is – with ONE point

You CAN control the room between stimuli and response, at least more than you think.

The famous person uttering – “there is a space between stimuli and response” - was Victor Frankl, a holocaust

survivor.

The full saying goes;

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to

choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom

Viktor Emil Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, who founded logotherapy, a school of

psychotherapy that describes a search for a life's meaning as the central human motivational force..