Reflections on a year in lockdown

It’s been just over a year ago since I took my last train and tube journey into London for work (I did make a journey on the train in December but more on that another time!). This was followed by the removal of our freedoms (for our own protection), most of which have not been returned a year later.

As someone who considers themselves a social butterfly, dinners and drinks with friends after work, weekends strolling the streets of London with my fiancé or trips home to Barbados to see Mum for this to have been taken away at the drop of a hat was soul-destroying. I can recall in lockdown one (on what soon became my new social high) during an evening walk suddenly breaking down in tears, much to the chagrin of my fiancé. How was I going to cope with being restricted against my will? Adjustment one in the making!

The second adjustment was finding out you don’t know the people with whom you surround yourself. I recall being scolded by friends in lockdown one as I dared to buy myself new slippers (gorgeous pink fluffy ones) during my weekly supermarket shop — that was a shocker for me! Soon after this came the varying views on lockdown and the emergence of the narrative of “if you’re not with me, you must be against me”, how dare people have thoughts against others!?

Moving into May and slowly adjusting to the new (ab)normal, there is news, and video footage from the USA of a black man whose name we learn is George Floyd lying face down on the ground with a police officer kneeling on his neck. As the news progresses, we learn that police officer reportedly knelt on George Floyd’s neck for eight minutes and forty-six seconds. This event, coupled with lockdown, ignited an international eruption of emotions and reactions, the likes of which we had not seen for many years. People I knew (both personally and professionally) suddenly became cautious talking about race; some wanted to know what they could do better; others suddenly felt guilt because of their skin colour. It was a catalyst for change in society, of which I’m not sure we have yet seen the tangible outcome.

Other impacts of lockdown? I’ve not been able to travel home to Barbados to see my Mum; it is now 15 months and counting since I physically saw her. She turned 81 in December, and I could not be there with her. The cancellation of two wedding dates — some will say no biggie since we’ve been together for nearly 30 years; but annoying nonetheless!

“Surely it hasn’t been all negative” I hear you cry, and you would be correct.

• I have been fortunate as a Consultant to have worked throughout lockdown and have made some great acquaintances and people I would consider friends. All of them I will probably get to meet for the first time this summer (I will be a social butterfly again — YAY!).
• I qualified as a coach during the lockdown, which wasn’t even on my to-do list when 2020 started and is now a passion.
• Thanks to a client who tried to devalue my worth, I learnt my powers, strengths and genuinely valued my self-worth — I’m grateful to that client!
• I recently sat on my first panel and gave my first keynote for International Women’s Day, thereby beginning the journey of conquering my public speaking fears. And last but not least, my technology skills have increased ten-fold now I am a video meeting ninja (apart from my odd “Marcia — you’re on mute” moment).

So although there have been tough times fraught with tears and anxiety, there are beautiful things that happened, which more than likely may not have done if we hadn’t been in such strange times.