Reflections of a Work at Home Mom #Vol. 8

Reflections of a Work at Home Mom #Vol. 8

Acknowledgment and acceptance are easy, it's taking the right steps that is hard.

Sunday, March 27th?

Still enjoying the amazingly warm weather.?

First a birthday party for the kids. It was supposed to be 2 hours of fun for the kids and some chill time for parents. Ha!?

The birthday girl couldn’t get off her mother, so she and the dad took turns in making her company at this play area.

Big O was way too cool! She had a butterfly drawn on her face and had all the fun with the other kids.

Little O was sleepy. M and I were also taking turns in making her company so she doesn’t cry as much.?

The park afterward was a marvelous idea – the weather was great, the kids could ride a horse, just a fun day out. Much needed.

Monday, March 28th?

Once again, I rely on Monday to set the tone for this week… Even though I know it doesn't have to mean anything. Things can go sideways in a matter of seconds and everything that started so lovely could end in a major disaster.?

So many days happen like this. I’ve even learned to recognize it: if everything is peachy in the morning, I know better and always expect something bad to happen.?

You might say I’m pessimistic, but the truth is that I’m overly intuitive. I can (almost) always sense when something’s wrong.?

Wishing for an ordinary day at work, at least.

Tuesday, March 29th

Can we delete this day altogether??

I know it’s not smart to simply ignore things, but this day deserves it.?

Thank you for reading.?

Wednesday, March 30th

It has been an extremely busy week. And with Little O’s birthday coming up, it won’t get any less busy.?

Still feeling edgy from yesterday but trying to approach this day with a different mindset.

Two meetings today, a lot of work to do. Just hoping for some peace of mind today and the strength to keep calm.

Thursday, March 31st?

Big O woke up in a nice mood this morning. I don’t want to jinx it, but I sense trouble. Let’s see how it goes.?

***

So far I got shouted at, had to break up several fights, and more. Not sure if it’s Monday in disguise or what??

Is it the nice weather? Kids love when it rains because they get to jump up and down in muddy puddles – to quote Peppa Pig here.?

Is it boredom? I most certainly think that it is – but my hands are tied at the moment in that sphere.

Is it the lack of parental attention? It’s more than I’d like to admit. They watch me work every day. It’s not the happiest solution but it’s the best we can do at this moment.?

Are these normal stages in their development? Oh my god, YES!?

I know all this and still, it takes so much effort to deal with it and always react properly. Doing my best to learn from every experience. I'm always learning something...two schools and college were easier than this.

Friday, April 1st?

Sometimes I feel like I'm doing nothing at all and that my day just flies by. When in fact:

  • I work 8 hours a day.?
  • I make breakfast, lunch, and sometimes dinner every single day. M always helps when he can.?
  • I usually collect all the toys at the end of the day (there's no point in doing it while the kids are awake). M helps with this, too.?
  • I do two to three rounds of laundry a day.?
  • I do the drop-offs and pick-ups every workday.?
  • I make beds in the morning and M usually does them in the evening.?
  • I answer most of the kids' questions...it can be mentally draining.
  • I grab every possible second to read the books I want to read, find courses I can finish online for free, stay in touch with friends and family, and connect with my husband and kids.

And when I sit down and try to do nothing for a few minutes, my brain tells me I'm wasting my time and I SHOULD DO SOMETHING.?

Chill out, brain, everything is under control.?

Saturday, April 2nd??

"I love the life I have with you."?

That's what M often tells me. It makes my heart skip a beat. Everything else seems insignificant at that moment.

He’s lucky we have instant messaging because he wouldn’t be able to tell me anything from the kids. Sometimes they go on nonstop, it’s amazing really!?

***

This entire week has been upside down. Not just for us, but for many others around us, too. People are complaining.?

When weeks like these happen, it seems like I do everything wrong. Then I seek justifications – from myself and others, thinking it would make me feel less of a failure.?

But the truth is, it won't.

Yet, despite all the ups and downs, I love the life I have with you, M.?

Focus on what matters.

Yours truly,?

Work at Home Mom

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