Reflections on Women's Day: A Personal Journey and a Call for Change

1. Personal Beginnings: Reconciling Myth and Reality

In Indian culture, we often exalt women as embodiments of divine energy—"Prakriti," "Shakti," or simply "Goddess." Growing up, I heard stories of revered female deities who symbolize strength, compassion, and wisdom. Yet, I've also seen how this idealization doesn't easily translate into everyday respect that I could demonstrate and practice. My wife and daughter frequently point out little attitudes in me—unintended, yet telling—that reflect an unconscious bias.

These moments are humbling. They highlight the gap between how I say I value women and how I treat them in personal, professional, and social spheres. Talking to women in my circle, I see that behind the polite gestures or external acknowledgements, there can still linger an expectation that they should "prove themselves" just a little more, or push just a little harder, to be heard, to be appreciated and to be respected. I've reflected many times and kept making smaller and bigger changes.

I am realizing that there is something fundamentally missing in being with women and I realize, it goes beyond gender and has to do with the dynamic between male and female roles and being complete when we are able to work together, learn together and grow together.

2. A Broader Lens: Where We Stand Today

The challenge isn't unique to me, India, or the US; it's visible across the globe. We've celebrated women heads of state, CEOs, and leaders in multiple fields, yet female representation and authority remain fragile. The conversation around Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) has been met with backlash in some places, where critics argue certain DEI approaches were always "overzealous" or "ineffective." While it's true some tactics were flawed, these criticisms can overshadow the reality that systemic barriers still persist.

In fact, just this Tuesday, I was in conversation with a friend of mine who heads up executive education at a major university in the US. He shared that they are systematically dismantling women's leadership programs and courses focused on women. This revelation was deeply disheartening and underscores the ongoing challenges we face.

One telling example comes from a LinkedIn post by Sumer Datta , who highlighted how even when a woman is promoted to a senior leadership role, she often faces immediate resistance—particularly from men who've never questioned male bosses in similar positions. In Datta's words, "the problem isn't women's leadership. It's the world's inability to accept it."

3. Power, Perception, and the "Game"

Women often become skilled "players" in workplace politics, learning to navigate subtle (and not-so-subtle) gendered attitudes. In an environment where men historically hold the power, it's a survival strategy. They learn when to speak, when to stay silent, when to be firm, and when to be diplomatic—calculations their male peers might not have to make as often.

Yet, even their strategic brilliance can be underappreciated. A Harvard Business Review study showed that men are more likely to challenge, interrupt, or downplay a woman leader's authority compared to their male counterparts. Similarly, an analysis by Stanford researchers found that women often receive less concrete feedback for career growth, while men receive more specific, actionable advice. These systemic issues conspire to keep women from getting their fair share—whether it's leadership opportunities, resources, or simple respect.

4. Three Concrete Steps Toward Change

At an individual and collective level, what can we do? Here are three starting points:

1. Examine Our Language and Assumptions Words have weight. Calling a male leader "assertive" but labeling a female leader "bossy" or "shrill" sets an unspoken double standard (Sandberg, Lean In, 2013). Challenge these labels whenever you hear them—and check how you use them yourself. Our assumptions about gender shape the very environment in which decisions are made.
2. Offer (and Seek) Actionable Feedback Studies suggest men often get roadmap-style feedback ("here's how to improve next time"), while women more frequently receive personality-focused comments ("you're great with people, but be less emotional"). Whether you manage a team or collaborate on projects, make sure you give detailed, strategy-oriented feedback that can help everyone advance in their roles. Also, if you're on the receiving end of vague feedback, don't be afraid to ask for clarity: "Could you tell me more about how I can improve?"
3. Revisit Power Dynamics, Not Just Competence We frequently focus on "skills gaps" or "confidence gaps," but the deeper issue is often power. It isn't that women lack capability; it's that some men—and the structures they uphold—aren't fully prepared to be led by women. Organizations need to tackle this head-on: setting accountability metrics for inclusive behavior, incentivizing senior leaders to mentor and sponsor women, and calling out subtle biases that undermine female authority (McKinsey & Company and LeanIn.Org, Women in the Workplace, various years).

5. A Shared Path Forward

This reflection is part personal confession, part public plea. My experiences with the women in my life—my wife, my daughter, my female colleagues—keep me honest.

They remind me that it's not enough to admire women as powerful icons and leaders in theory; the practice needs to show up in everyday interactions, in boardrooms, and in personal relationships.

As Sumer Datta and many others have rightly noted, women don't need "help" succeeding. They've proven they can handle the challenges. What we need, especially among men, is a willingness to acknowledge how deeply cultural scripts run. We have to do the work to unlearn whatever is holding us back from truly accepting female authority.

And that work—done collaboratively—could become the real gift of International Women's Day: a genuine shift in how men and women partner to build a more equitable world.

Thank you Rama iragavarapu and Akanksha Rai for your thoughtful reflections and encouraging me to write this article!

#WomenInLeadership #WomenEmpowerment #InternationalWomensDay #GenderEquality #Leadership #Innovation #instituteofindicwisdom

References

• Tannen, Deborah.?Talking from 9 to 5: Women and Men at Work.?Avon Books, 1995.
• Sandberg, Sheryl.?Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead.?Knopf, 2013, which discusses how feedback disparities impact women’s career trajectories.
• McKinsey & Company and LeanIn.Org.?Women in the Workplace?reports (multiple years). Accessible at?www.womenintheworkplace.com
• ? ?Datta, Sumer. (2025, LinkedIn Post).?“This is the real reason women in senior roles don’t succeed…”??
• ? ?Ely, R., Ibarra, H., & Kolb, D. (2011). “Taking Gender into Account: Theory and Design for Women’s Leadership Development Programs.”?Harvard Business Review.??
• ? ?Correll, S., Simard, C., & Shepard, B. (2020). “Research: Vague Feedback Is Holding Women Back.”?Harvard Business Review.