Reflections Series #6 | Stress and Anxiety at work

Dealing with these experiences at varied intensities and irregular intervals is an uphill task!. How can we handle it more efficiently? Here is my point of view that might help you too.

Impact of such experiences:

Anger. Restlessness. Palpitations. Venting out on family. Blame game. Using alcohol as a means to get away. Well. I'm guilty as charged too!

There are two instances I recall, where such an experience affected myself and my surroundings.

1. In 2014: Having turned 30, signed myself up into a cross fit program at a functional fitness place called Fight Club on the ORR Koramangala. This comprised of Kick boxing, Muay Thai, and Yoga. This worked wonders on my body and overall fitness, and I had gotten into such a strict regime that combined with long hours at work, rest started taking a back seat.

Evidently things started going south. The added energy from my workouts and the long commutes and hours for work made me very edgy and my temperament just needed a spark to get me uncontrollable. I started venting out on family. Not my proudest moment here!

Road rage was the worst part of it, and I ensured I had enough fights amidst traffic with one occasion where I almost got into a fist fight! I had become unbelievably aggressive. It took me a while to gather myself back together.

What worked during this time was to take a few days break, reflect on my actions as it didn't give me mental relief either. Soumya, my wife was a mirror to my actions and used to gently highlight when I was being edgy. So having a friend / colleague / companion help us through is important

2. The other instance is from 2019. A year pre-covid. There was a specific disconnect between the founder's thought process and the peoples' expectations on ground. Payroll was largely driven on the invoice collections being made in that month. Evidently not all vendors were timely pay masters and delay of cheque from them means delay in payroll clearance for all of us, especially for the teams on ground!

Vendor management, payroll, operations execution as per contract, training and retention of talent, satisfaction of client expectations, travel policies, reimbursement of expenses = all were tied into the timely invoice payment collections each month.

THIS WAS A HUGE STRESS inducer and we had tormenting times where teams used to come and plead for payments to be made stating different urgencies.

One occasion a team member came limping into the office stating medical expenses needed for surgery. It was heart-wrenching to have to deal with it. Each day was an anxious, helpless and sad experience for all of us. As a leader this was even more compounding because I had to answer for all of it on behalf of the founder!

What are the ways that helped me fight stress & overcome anxiety?

1. Letting go of what you can't control: Often we feel that the weight of an execution rests on our shoulders and not shared. This causes a huge amount of pressure. For Ex: Meeting a certain deadline, while it is a great feeling to not get reminders, more often it's about timely communication to the recipient that such and such is a reason let me know if the new date works! This is possible and can be a great stress reliever.
2. It is more than okay to say NO: I believe this is a great skill to master. In Chinese culture this is even more accentuated that as an innate cultural upbringing, saying a no in a corporate setting is frowned upon! Let's not suffer due to this. The relief one can find by avoiding / refusing or / delaying a certain push upon us is mentally relaxing and a great stress reliever. It is also a sign of respect for self.
3. Balancing an Active lifestyle with ample Rest: I notice that at least once every 15-20 days, getting a body massage done has a profound impact on well-being of mind and body. All the stresses from work, fatigued muscles from exercises, works, walks etc., will go away. Sleep I've come to notice has a great impact on our mental peace and ability to overcome moments of anxiety quickly. Getting a 7hr of intense sleep is much needed in my opinion.
4. Keep the phones off during sleep: The biggest distraction is that one ping from the phone during the night. You get tempted to check it and boom, your sleep is gone for the night. I tend to keep the phone of silent or turned off at night until the moment i want to check it. This way distraction is parked for only when I'm ready to get to work after my personal routines are completed.
5. Because, tomorrow is another day!: With sustained practice, I've learned to just ignore unnecessary pressure upon myself, because i notice all the pressure or over-working on one priority didn't get us the incremental improvement in a certain business goal or metric. It's all in the mind. It's alright in short bursts rarely but not as a regular practice. This can help reduce stressful moments. We just start afresh the next day.
6. Completing dinner before 7pm: Over the last one year i could notice my sleep patterns were completely awry. I used to not get sleep until late in the night, and used to have this uneasy heaviness in the chest like i had downed a huge bowl or something! I noticed that all the late night food just stays undigested until late. And this was disturbing my sleep. The moment i started avoiding any solid intake after 7pm, my body felt lighter, and no gaseous feeling and thereby heartburns, heavy chested feeling all went away. Thereby getting a sound sleep at night and wake up well rested to take on the next day!
7. Stepping into the outdoors: A walk in your favorite park, that quiet neighborhood, a sit down with your friend, partner, calm-natured person, going on a stroll with your child, or just flirting with your cute neighbor! :) Whatever is accessible to you in your personal setting certainly helps get away from the routine and generate a fresh approach to deal with the stressors in daily life. For me, a good walk in the neighborhood, hitting the gym, a walk in lalbagh, or a chat with my friends helps me.

These are some of the adaptations I've been able to make for my lifestyle and have been giving me incremental improvements in managing my stress inducers better.

What are some of your ways that help you tackle Stress & Anxiety better?

Do tell and share for the rest of us.

Thank you for reading!