Reflections on one year of The Mirrored Door

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I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m approaching the one-year birthday of The Mirrored Door on October 10! I blinked and it’s somehow been a year.

Writing and publishing and promoting a book is a pretty major learning experience. Life lessons abounded, and I was surprised by and grateful for so much. The Mirrored Door allowed me to meet so many incredible people and to hear their stories, and that made me more curious and more reflective about the ideas that I shared in the book. There is still so much to ponder, but these are my takeaways from The Mirrored Door’s first year—and the questions I’m still asking myself.?

What I learned?

The Mirrored Door is pervasive??

When I wrote The Mirrored Door, I’d written it with business professional women, perhaps in mid-career, in mind. But through traveling and talking with so many people, I’ve found that women across industries, career stages, and functions face this obstacle. I’ve talked to groups of doctors, lawyers, entrepreneurs, recent college graduates, MBA students and alumnae, senior executives and yes, mid-career women.?

At one book event, I talked with a group of moms with big careers, and we got into such interesting conversations about how these strategies apply to us as parents. It’s a real identity shift when we become moms, and our hopes for perfection and the do it all messaging can also be a double-edged sword outside of work.?

Beyond women, I’ve heard from many men what they learned from the book, and how they face their own mirrored door. This is especially true in our “man up” culture, that sets expectations early in boyhood through adulthood.?

Serving others builds courage?

People often ask me what made me write the book. The answer is that I could see this thing that wasn’t addressed but was blocking women’s way forward. That desire to help gave me courage to keep at it and then share it with the world. I was so reluctant to start posting on LinkedIn and then to write a newsletter. Staying firm with my why—to help women navigate their careers with greater knowledge resulting in more seats and voices at the table of workplace decisions—lent?me the bravery to start sharing more often. .???

That courage was boosted by the amazing AJ Harper, who taught me how to write, how to address the readers’ needs, and how to get words down and edit later. Her book, Write a Must-Read: Craft a Book That Changes Lives—Including Your Own did exactly what it promised. It changed my life and the lives of many readers. I’m so grateful to AJ and the Top Three Book Workshop for showing me the way.?

Prepare for imperfection

Seeing your book in print for the first time is an unbelievable, indescribable rite of passage, which is why many authors choose to share the opening of the first case of books. When my moment finally came, it was incredibly meaningful and very joyful. What was slightly less wonderful was the shaky video footage of me opening the box, shot by my equally excited husband. When we viewed it, it looked pretty grainy, but we both felt like we couldn’t replicate the first opening. So we released this hazy video into the curated world of social media—to my surprise and the delight of so many! Sure, I wanted to capture the perfect launch video, but the mess of reality turned out to be much more magical. This early lesson helped me roll with the ups and downs that surround any major endeavor.?

Practice what you preach

Putting my book into the world was an exercise in vulnerability, especially given the number of personal stories I included. The voice of my inner antagonist rang in my ears, filling my mind with skepticism. “Who am I to write a book?”, it said. So I turned to my own framework, countering that little voice with, “My book can help”. That fueled me to keep at it, writing and editing pre-launch and later speaking on podcasts and to groups and? organizations to share the content. Over time, I found that I loved doing this. I firmly believe in the book, and the feedback reinforces that. The practice of opening those mirrored doors makes us stronger.?

The big questions

Do I really want this to resonate??

Hearing how The Mirrored Door has resonated with so many of you has truly moved me.?

Hearing “Listening to the audible was like a coaching session with you during my walk everyday” or “The book was transformational at a minimum but was truly skin shedding” made me emotional. But the most impactful and frequent comment I received was “I thought I was alone”.? These reactions are what every author dreams of and hopes for, but at the same time, I don’t want this to resonate with readers. I want this book to be obsolete one day, when we no longer hold ourselves to sky-high expectations and face the societal judgment that keeps us small and hesitating behind the mirrored door.???

Why is it so hard to ask for help?

I’ve always been independent, a self-starter. It’s something I’ve been very proud of. But when you launch a non-fiction book, it takes a village. You need help, and this process taught me how difficult that is for me. Beyond the publishing, PR, marketing, and social media experts, I needed to ask people to take the time to read and give feedback in the form of early reader input, endorsements, and Amazon reviews. Putting one’s name behind a book gives the algorithm the juice it needs to show the book to those most likely to be interested in its content. I was reluctant to press send on emails to sheroes like Sally Helgesen , author of How Women Rise or Dorie Clark , author of The Long Game. But these authors and early readers eagerly agreed, and were so insightful and amazingly supportive. I learned an important lesson: most people want to help others, you just have to ask.?

(In that spirit, getting Amazon reviews has been an illusive task, even from those that shared how much The Mirrored Door helped them. If you’ve been holding back and have read this far, writing an honest, one sentence review here can really help. Will you consider sharing your biggest takeaway or who you think might benefit from reading it? I’d be so grateful!)?

What’s next??

Writing a book is a lot like having your first child.? After a while, you forget all the pain you went through and begin to think about doing it again. My urge to help others is still there, but I’m still pondering what’s next.? I’ve thought about the mirrored door that men face or the mirrored maze of the workplace… Or maybe it’s something else.

So what do you think I should write?? Let me know your thoughts.?

There’s so much more I can say about this experience, but I want to close with this: thank you. Thank you for your support, for your enthusiasm, for your thoughtful questions and contributions. I couldn’t do this work without you.?

In July, I celebrated one year of Swag-HER! I’m so grateful for your readership and support of my work. I hope you’ll share Swag-HER with the women in your life! Make sure you never miss an issue by clicking “Subscribe” in the upper right-hand corner.?

The book birthday of The Mirrored Door, happening on October 10, 2024! Writing this book has changed my life. It has given me the opportunity to help other women step through the mirrored door, and has connected me with so many incredible individuals. If this book has meant something to you, I would appreciate you leaving a review on Amazon. It will help others discover the book and spread its message. My goal is to get to 100 reviews by October 10 - can you help??

Haven’t read it yet? Click here to get your copy of The Mirrored Door: Break Through the Hidden Barrier that Locks Successful Women in Place! Winner of the 2023 NYC Big Book award, it's the perfect gift for the professional woman in your life.?