Reflections - New Year's Resolutions

As the dust finally settles on the parties and excitement marking the start of the new decade I am given to reflect on the annual cycle of excitement around a new resolution and the disappointment that the resolution does not make it till the end of January. We all seem to fall into this cycle of resolutions such as I will not drink alcohol all January except I drank way too much on the 1st. I will exercise daily this year except on the 1st and every weekday thereafter. I will eat less deserts, but a New Year is a time to celebrate so let me have some cake today and so on.

Is it just a cycle, do we all do it knowing fully that we have no intention to keeping to the resolutions? Or is it that we get into the hype of everyone doing it but never really thought we would stick to it anyway? Or is it that we lack the will after all “what harm can one slice of cake really do?”

Or Perhaps, we are treating the annual cycle of resolutions all wrong? We choose resolutions about things we intend to do. What would happen if we picked a resolution that spoke to an emotion we would like to have? What would happen if, for example, we decided that this year we will choose to Be Happier?

The first thing that happens if we resolve to “be happier” is that there is no resistance. There is no part of the brain going “No!. No, I am too tired to be happier today. I will see if I feel like it tomorrow”. The mind and the body will align to encourage us to do whatever it takes to be happier. 

Secondly, it provides perspective for example, I am trying not to eat desserts but at a friend’s birthday party I ate some cake. Eating the cake made me happy. Had my resolution been not to eat cake then I would have felt guilty and felt like I let myself down. In this case I was just mindful and had a small portion and felt happy. 

Resolving to be happier also helps with decisions about how to spend our time. Time is a precious resource and nobody appears to have enough of it. We seem to be constantly in meetings, conference calls, filing reports, meeting people and staring at our phones. In fact we spend almost four hours a day staring at our phones. That is one whole day a week on our phones. It seems that it is not that we don’t have enough time but that we use the time we have unwisely. Imagine if we freed that up and spent it with the people we love or doing the things we love. We would have time to spend with our children. We would have time to spend with our friends in person. We would even have time to take our spouses on a date. Resolving to be happier would focus our minds on using our time more effectively so that it brings more happiness. 

January is almost done. Most of our resolutions are already in shreds. So why don’t we all pick a new resolution. One that speaks to our emotions. One that both our hearts and our minds can support and one that will make us happier in the process.