Reflections on Memorial Day weekend

This weekend being the traditional start of the summer, feels more celebratory than usual with mask restrictions being lifted in many states, restaurants and activities opening to full operation and people starting to re-engage in larger groups. There is a sense that our lives may be getting back to normal and we can once again enjoy the family, friends and activities that we love so much. It’s also a weekend to reflect and appreciate those who have fought and sacrificed to make it all possible.

A big Thank You to all who have been willing to wear the uniform, fight and risk their lives for our country. We salute those in particular that have made the ultimate sacrifice for all of us, and our future generations. They fought and died for the ideals and values that were captured succinctly by our founding fathers in the words “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”.

While we honor their bravery and sacrifice this Memorial Day weekend, I can’t help but wonder if we could be doing more to pay tribute to their sacrifice year around. Here is a modest proposal for how we might better show appreciation for all they have done and how we might pay it forward for future generations.

You don’t need me to tell you that we are a deeply polarized nation. We have allowed ourselves to become angry, dis-respectful and fearful of one another. Still, I believe that most Americans are good hearted people that share similar values, hopes, dreams and fears. Despite some radical views on both ends of the spectrum, most of us care deeply for our friends, family, and communities and appreciate the freedom and opportunity afforded by our democratic market system. We are certainly not perfect and we have a lot of work to do to create the equality and opportunity integral to the principles on which this country was founded. But we are also not totally broken either and we have much to be proud of.

So how did we get to this place of division? I believe a big part of it is the ease and frequency with which we listen to and believe the rhetoric spewed from politicians, pundits, and foreign powers, all of whom benefit from us being more divided. This trend has been further enabled and accelerated by the internet and social media.

The Republican and Democratic parties have become institutions that benefit and thrive MORE from controversy and conflict, than from compromise and healing. Our elected representatives in congress spend more time raising money and getting re-elected than they spend doing the business of the people who sent them there. How do you raise money and get elected? By making the alternative scary and evil and trying to convince the voters to be afraid because the opposition will ruin our lives and take away our rights.

TV news, social media, talk shows and other platforms have become echo chambers for name calling, ‘canceling’ and fear mongering. Why? That’s what gets more watchers, more eyeballs, more subscribers, and ultimately more money from advertisers. Their highest calling is no longer truth and integrity in reporting, but ratings and the bottom line.

Foreign powers would love to see the American experiment fail. When we thrive it challenges the control of authoritarians around the globe. They love to point at us and say “look, that democracy thing does not work. You are very lucky to be under our rule”. They encourage us to fight amongst ourselves because they know we are strongest when we are united, and vulnerable when divided.

Who’s to blame for all that? The hard truth is that we are. We have allowed the politicians, media and foreign powers to influence how we think, act and treat our fellow Americans. We have listened to, and believed the rhetoric, sound bites and conspiracy theories designed to do one thing - turn us against one another. How do we start to change it? By doing 2 things:

1) Be more skeptical and more discerning about what we hear, see and believe. We need to go beyond the sound bites and tik tok videos and spend more time reading, learning and understanding. Seek to understand the motives and ask hard questions of those that sow division. Challenge the sources of information for proof, support and further analysis. Democracy and freedom require hard work. If we want to protect and defend it, we need to make the effort to do the critical analysis, challenge the BS and get to the truth.

2) Start having more faith in our fellow Americans and make an effort to better understand each other. Work hard to listen, REALLY LISTEN. Try to understand why someone might have a different perspective and respect their views. Have the courage to open your heart and mind to different points of view. Seek out common ground and start by focusing on what we can agree on versus where we have differences.

When I think about all those that have fought and died for our country, I don’t think they would feel good about where we are today. The soldiers that have fought for our country did not fight for values that were left or the right, conservative or liberal, Republican or Democrat - they fought for American values. I imagine that they would want something more for us and future generations. To be ‘One Nation’, truly indivisible, working together to address the challenges facing our nation and planet, and continue to be a shining example for the rest of the world.

If we are going to come together as a nation, it has to start with each one of us. It will take hard work and courage but it’s minor compared to the sacrifice made for those that fought and died for our country. If we want to honor our fallen heroes beyond this weekend, we can start by working each day to reject the rhetoric of division, seek out opportunities to find common ground, and start loving our fellow Americans regardless of political party.