Reflections

I don't pride myself on self-discipline. I have to work at it. I know I am not alone.  On average, it takes more than two months before a new behavior becomes automatic - 66 days on average. According to a European Journal of Social Psychology published study, the exact time it takes for a new habit can vary from 18 days to 254 days. After reading this study, I realized how much impatience for results could get in my way of developing better habits unless I find the "what is in for me" early on in the process. 

That is how it went when I  attempted to take up journaling as the first step into practicing mindfulness. I found the WIIFFM almost immediately.  My overactive brain directly benefited from taking a few minutes to reflect on my accomplishments and plan for tomorrow at the end of each day.   

 At first, the exercise was helpful just enough to keep me interested. It took sharing my new daily routine with a coaching client to open my eyes to the power of linking who we are and how we show up to the world. This is not a frivolous exercise. It is genuinely knowing your values and acknowledging how your values showed up that day. Warning, to be successful, reflection takes radical honesty.

To keep it simple, I ask myself the following six questions each day:

1. What did I say I was going to accomplish today?  
2. What did I  do?
3. What am I most proud of?
4. What am I least proud of?
5.  If I could do it over today, what would I do differently?
6. What do I want to accomplish tomorrow?

After answering the six questions, I reflect on the day in general, and will assess my behaviors, revel in successes, and note those things I want to follow up on or correct as needed.

Through self-reflection, we can realize how our inner dialogue directly impacts our actions, resulting in heightened awareness and thoughtfulness. Increased awareness can help us make better choices at the moment, allowing for timely self-correcting actions resulting in building confidence. Confidence enables us to take advantage of our innate abilities that will enable us to shine. It's all about self-improvement, being self-aware, knowing yourself, and getting better.

Reflection goes beyond oneself. If you don't know yourself, how can you possibly lead other people?   Leadership demands restraint, especially during times of stress or crisis. Strong leaders not only practice self-reflection themselves; they also encourage their teams to do so. A self-reflective team is a team that has its priorities straight and arrives prepared to deal with any setbacks.

In closing, I leave you with a quote by Confucious

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bittesweet.  

(Think about this, how possible would it be to imitate or gain experience without reflection?)

Have a thoughtful week. I am here for you if you need to talk.

Warm Regards, Mary

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