Reflections on the #Graduation Day

#Graduation Day

Graduation Days can be tricky. I never had mine, the very next day of my Master’s VIVA VOCE, I left my home and small town to work in a big city. I have been working since. I never went back.

It’s been more than two decades. 

I never felt the agony and ecstasy of graduation, the feelings which come on this huge moment in one’s life. The proud moment of having made it, the grueling schedules and oh those books would soon be past. Exams and more exams will no longer torment u. 

The agony of leaving your best friends, friends who became more than family, the moments of madness, late nights, parties, fun, laughter, frustrations, they all will be past. The excitement of an unknown future is coupled with sadness of a carefree life left behind.

They are tricky for me as for almost two decades, I have stood on the other side, seeing my students graduate.

I have been part of numerous convocation ceremonies and have witnessed the formal, informal moments from a distance. It’s a huge relief for me as a Professor earlier and as a DEAN now, to see my students make it. The happiness of seeing them crossing the last hurdle is palpable but I hide it all.

I am a passionate teacher, I am a crazy hard task master, many students call me sadist. Many hate me for my arrogance and sense of sarcasm. 

But there are those few who somehow love me. Long after they had left the campus and having settled in their careers and lives, they come back to me, reach out to me unexpectedly. Some want job advice, or even jobs but many don’t have an agenda! They just want to say hello! We go back the memory lane as it was just yesterday that they had graduated and we had hugged each other. It was only yesterday that I had given them bad grades or had shouted at them for their irreverent attitude towards studies in particular or life in general. It was only yesterday that they were crying in my office, or cracking a joke or sharing “Chai” at numerous canteens.

Over the years, some of my old students have even worked with me as colleagues/Working with me now, some have given me jobs and assignments too. I have always struggled to remain impersonal but have tried. I distance myself as the graduation day nears and on the D Day, I just become invisible. I watch them from side lines, I see them hugging their parents, celebrating their best moment in life, I see them take photographs, steal kisses, take selfies, I see them crying, I see them holding their degrees like the Grand Slam Trophies. 

I see all. I smile. I rejoice silently. I wish them luck. I bless them.

Many students complain to me later that they could not find me as they wanted me to meet their parents. 

its feels awkward that even in this age and time, some bend and touch the feet.

Some take bold steps of breaking the protocol and shake hands with me on the stage ahead of the Chief Guest. Some want a selfie. As I sit in the front row on convocation stage I steal few glances with my Professor Colleagues and see the pride on their faces. It is as much as their day as it is for the students. I can’t shout or whistle but feel elated when my colleagues shout out loud whenever names of their favorite students are called. I feel happy when I see them mingle with parents, eat that final dinner with students.

I have been part of many graduation ceremonies, starting from MICA to SPJIMR, O P Jindal University, IIM Kashipur, LBSNAA and now FLAME University. There are some places like IIM Kashipur Dehradun Campus, Chitkara Business School and SP Jain Dubai, where despite being the founder faculty/Dean, I did not/could not be part of the graduation ceremonies due to personal and professional reasons and that regret will remain with me.

Today morning, as I sit in my office, drained after the high of last night, I reflect. I reflect on the privileges of seeing so many young lives shine, so many young minds getting ready to embrace the real world.

I feel happy and sad at the same time.

I feel numbness, I feel empty. 

I think I hate good byes.

Slowly this feeling will go and come July, I will be addressing the NEW BATCH of students.

Like that Gulmohar on my campus who is on full bloom today and soon his flowers will be gone. His leaves will dry and we all will wait for the rains.As new leaves will adorn that Gulmohar, at campus, a new life, a new journey will begin with new students till that next graduation day.

"Dwari"

5th May, 2019