Reflections from 10-Days of deep and extreme-meditation experiment.

A few weeks ago, I had checked-in to a silent meditation camp for 10 days. No speaking, No cell phone, No internet, No eye contact, No books, No papers/ iPAD to write, through out all 10 days. It was a monastery type accomodation in a small 50 Sq ft room with a modest bed, and light meals (vegetarian) served between 7 am and 12 noon. On the first day, I felt like i have fallen off the planet since i don't recall being without cell phone or internet for even one day in the past few decades.

The daily schedule had extreme discipline. Wake up at 4 am, take cold water bath with a bucket, and start meditation in the group meditation hall at 4:30 am and continue till 9:00 pm with only short bio breaks and for meals. Approximately 12-14 hours of meditation daily. Lights out 9:30 pm.

The meditation technique i was taught and followed is called Vipassana, rooted in the ancient teachings of Gautam Buddha, focusing on self-observation through body scanning. This is a very different meditation practice than i'm used to in the past, as the emphasis here it to bring attention to the physical sensations (or "vedana" in sanskrit) in the body, by maintaining attention, awareness and equanimity—remaining detached and non-reactive to these sensations, whether pleasurable or painful. The objective is to observe without craving or aversion, helping us to understand the impermanent nature of physical and mental experiences.

It may help the readers to share some background on why I finally signed up for a 10-days mind-matter experiment, which i wanted to do for a very long time? There are two important mind-matter processes, that i have read and researched for many years, and have intellectually understood them, but i had a strong urge to "experientially feel it" to truly internalize and get the true benefits of understanding those processes. It is like intellectually understanding an Ice-Cream with all its ingredients and molecular structure but we can never truly understand what an Ice-Cream is, without actually eating it.

1. The Deep Subconscious Mind: I've been aware that a significant portion of our decisions, actions, and reactions are driven by the subconscious mind, a powerful yet often inaccessible part of the brain. Studies in neuroscience have shown that much of our behavior occurs below the level of conscious awareness, with our brains making decisions milliseconds before we become consciously aware of them. This subconscious activity influences our thoughts, emotions, and actions, often leading to automatic behaviors like reactions to situations, cravings, or aversions. Research using brain-imaging technology, such as functional MRI, shows that decision-making activity begins in the subconscious brain before we are consciously aware of our choices. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for higher-level thinking, gets involved "after" these subconscious processes have already initiated a response.
2. Mind-Matter Interaction: The subconscious mind continuously interacts with the body through the nervous system, influences our physiological responses. This connection forms mental patterns that manifest as cravings or aversions, further conditioning the subconscious mind. Over time, the subconscious mind builds layers of conditioning/ programming based on repeated emotional responses to experiences—whether positive or negative, likes or dislikes, happiness or sorrow, pain or pleasure and so on. These patterns get stored deeply, forming habitual reactions that bypass the conscious mind. For instance, if someone habitually reacts with anger when criticized, that emotional reaction becomes deeply ingrained and occurs automatically without conscious thought.

My goal was purification of the mind by breaking the conditioned responses from this conditioned/ programmed subconscious mind. I have found two methods that can help accomplish it which interestingly converge modern western scientific research with ancient Indian-meditation practices: 1. Non-Reaction: By not reacting to sensations, cravings, or aversions during meditation, we gradually break their habitual responses, allowing them to regain control over their actions. With consistent practice, these subconscious patterns loosen their grip, and the mind becomes more clear, calm, and balanced. 2. Neuroplasticity: Research in neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to reorganize itself—supports this process. By repeatedly observing and not reacting, meditation rewires the brain, promoting new patterns of equanimity rather than automatic reactivity.

Once the mind is purified of its habitual reactions, we can gain full control over our decisions. Instead of reacting impulsively based on subconscious triggers, we can engage the conscious mind to make thoughtful, deliberate choices. Conscious Awareness: With practice, we become more aware of our mental processes and can pause before reacting, allowing the conscious mind to guide their decisions, leading to more balanced, thoughtful actions.

The 10-days deep meditation experiment allowed me to access the subconscious mind by bringing attention to subtle physical sensations and underlying emotions. The goal throughout the meditative time was to observe these sensations without reacting to them, which weakens the hold of conditioned attachments and aversions. These sensations as per Gautam Buddha is manifestation of subconscious mental patterns—whether tension, discomfort, or pleasurable sensations. By observing them non-reactively, we learn to detach from attachments and aversions. The interaction between the mind and body in meditation helps uncover psychosomatic imprints ( "Samskara" in Hinduism)—mental patterns that have physical counterparts in the body. As we remains neutral, these sensations begin to dissolve, leading to purification of the mind.

On the 10th day, i could feel the following transformative benefits:

• Coming to Terms with the Past: As observer of my subconscious patterns of attachments and aversions, past traumas and suppressed emotions come to the surface. By facing these with equanimity, it was possible to release old emotional baggage and heal from unresolved issues.
• Living in the Present: Deep meditation helps to bring attention to every moment, to truly experience the "power of now" by increasing awareness and reducing anxiety about the future or regrets from the past.
• Reducing Attachment and Aversion: By detaching from the habit of reacting, i have learned to experience the dualities of life—pleasure and pain, success and failure—with greater equanimity, cultivating a state of inner peace.
• Reducing fight-or-flight response, helps with calming the nervous system and enabling healing from conditions like Chronic pain, Anxiety, Stress-related disorders (e.g., irritable bowel syndrome, tension headaches).
• Cultivating Bliss and Calm: The ultimate goal of any meditation technique is liberation from suffering by seeing things as they truly are—impermanent and ever-changing. By breaking the cycle of habitual reaction, we can cultivate a sense of peace, calm, and even bliss, despite the challenges and dualities of worldly existence.

Through rigorous method of self-observation, this 10-days of going deep inside in solitude, allowed me to confront my deepest mental patterns, fostering healing and personal growth. I look forward to continuing this practice along with other methods of meditation that i have leaned in the past from my Guru's that helps me to live with internal peace and harmony, despite so much turmoil and suffering that we are currently seeing in the external world around us. Last but not the least, I'd like to express my profound gratitude to the volunteers, staff, teacher, trustees of Vipassana meditation center in Belapur, Navi Mumbai and the founder of this institution- Shri S.N. Goenka-Ji for bringing this ancient technique of Gautam Buddha to the contemporary world.