Reflections

I have had a few hours to consider the verdicts today in the trial of the murderers of Brianna Ghey.

This evening, I have already seen the media publishing their articles explaining why her murder 'was not a transphobic hate crime'. I have also wept as I heard her incredibly strong mother speak out about Brianna's 'fearlessness'.

I've also followed the trial. I've heard the testimony of what was said by the murderers. I've heard the term 'fearless' used before - about me. I'm not fearless, far from it. I live with a perpetual anticipation of abuse and assault. Nearly every Trans person lives with it; some of us fight it, try to go about as normal a life as we can; some are so destroyed by it that they hide from the world.

That Brianna was able to find this strength when aged only 14 is incredible to me.

The media are quick to dismiss transphobia for a number of reasons. Primarily their complicity in creating the environment; only this week the print and visual media has been awash with dehumanising language about young trans people - driven by a dehumanising and fascist leaning government to whom they play the role of client journalists. They also want to ensure that they have an 'out' for the next time a trans person is killed; any reason will do.

It was heartening, and surprising to hear that Brianna had friends and support at her school. So many young Trans people, including dear friends of mine do not receive this treatment, they are assaulted, bullied and demeaned by pupils and staff alike - treated with a lack of humanity that should shame us all. And yet... The Government's unlawful Trans guidance for schools provides a charter for abuse and bullying - had Brianna's school had this guidance and mistakenly taken it seriously; what would her short life have been like?

The murderers had a good reason to downplay any connection to transphobia; the Judge could and still may consider that any Hate crime related aspects are an aggravating factor and increase their minimum tariff, I sincerely hope she does. The depravity of these young people did not happen in a vacuum; the comment 'I want to see if 'it' screams like a boy or a girl' will live in my head forever. I cannot imagine the pain that Brianna's family must have felt to hear that in open court.

A week after the murder, I visited the park where Brianna died, I laid flowers for me and my friends from Trans in the City UK. A week later I spoke at the vigil in Reading. I stood in Culcheth with tears in my eyes as snow fell. I sat in Forbury Gardens in the dark with tears falling again. I cried for Brianna, I cried for her family, her friends - I cried for myself and for those in my community that I know are trying to live in this hostile environment.

For me, in 11 days I hope to mark a milestone. Because if I am lucky I will enter 2024 having had my first year since transitioning in 2019 where I have not been subject to a physical assault of some kind. What a grim thing to be counting and looking forward to. So many trans folk I know have not been so lucky. I've still faced street harassment and abuse, online hate (but less since I torpedoed Twitter) and issues in my personal and professional life - this has become the norm and it should shame you all.

So finally. It's past time for action. Cis friends, stop asking 'what can I do' and do something. Respond to the unlawful schools guidance and explain why it is not acceptable and not in your name. If you don't know how to do it, or want to know exactly what is an issue ASK. Ask me, ask one of the many organisations mobilising against a new Section 28 but TAKE ACTION.

Write to your MP, especially if they are one of the disgusting 'culture warriors' who spew hate and bile daily - no matter the colour of their rosette. Tell them that transphobia is not a vote winner. We have an election coming, and having just been through a by-election I can tell you that what is coming will be dreadful. In my constituency I had electoral leaflets stating that I should be imprisoned for 6 years for the crime of leaving my home. Tell candidates on the doorstep that any bigotries from them will cost them your vote. The message will get back.

Check your Trans friends and family. We are not OK, we have not been OK for a long time and the strain is cumulative. Thoughts and prayers mean nothing. Platitudes about how you 'don't understand' why people are like that mean nothing. Organised bigots claim to act in your name. It's time to stop them doing so.

Finally. Remember Brianna. Remember the girl who lived her life, who shone brightly but far, far too briefly. Remember her family and friends who have shown more strength than most of us can imagine.

Say her name, remember her name #Brianna