Reflections on Communication: The Role of Empathy, Listening, and Assertiveness

Reflections on Communication: The Role of Empathy, Listening, and Assertiveness

A few days ago, I had a conversation with a close college friend. At one point, I asked him a question, and his reaction took me by surprise. He responded with, “Are you for real?”—a statement that triggered a mix of emotions and thoughts in my mind. I wondered whether this was the appropriate way to address me. It felt more like a judgment than a question, and I found the tone unsettling. Nevertheless, I continued the conversation and asked for clarification, “Not sure what you mean?” Reflecting on this interaction, I gained a few valuable insights:

1.??? Aggression is a deal-breaker: Aggressive behavior in any form derails conversations. It leads to a “my way or the highway” mentality, which is counterproductive, especially when the goal is constructive dialogue. Such behavior limits growth and understanding, pushing the conversation to a deadlock.

2.??? Empathy is essential: Showing empathy is crucial in conversations, particularly when discussing important or sensitive matters. Empathy not only opens doors to meaningful dialogue but also determines whether the exchange will be constructive or not.

3.??? The map is not the territory: This principle from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) reminds us that every person has their own perspective, shaped by their experiences. To succeed in any conversation, you must first understand the other person's viewpoint before offering your own reaction. Understanding their “territory” is key to productive communication.

4.??? Listening is a skill: I emphasize this as a "skill" because it is something we can all learn with practice. It requires patience, patience, and more patience to truly listen to what the other person is saying—not just their words, but what they’re trying to communicate beneath the surface.

5.??? Assertiveness is crucial: People often ask me how to be assertive, and I’ve pondered this for a while. Based on my experience, one way to be assertive is by asking the right questions. Focus on questions related to the situation, not the person, and ask about the context rather than getting stuck on the content. Assertiveness is not about dominating the conversation but guiding it with clarity and respect.

These learnings have deepened my understanding of communication, and I leave you with these reflections. I welcome your thoughts on this.

Jaison Isaac Devorishi Das Gupta Deepak Srinivas Saritha Radhakrishnan GVV Satyanarayana

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Deepak Srinivas

Institutional credit | Private Equity | Sustainability/ impact investments | Fintech | Fund raise

2 个月

Even with Chat GPT and AI tools, ultimately one cannot avoid human interaction. Communication is both art and a skill. It comes naturally to many people and some of us have to constantly work on it. One of the things I would like to add here is an acknowledgement of things you dont know or fully grasp in a conversation. Either with a fear of being judged or with a "know all" attitude, we derail the process of progress in a conversation which is what to do next!

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