Reflections on 9/11....22 Years Later.

(My remarks at Oral Roberts University's 9/11 Remembrance Ceremony this morning).

On September 11, 2001, I was assigned to a training support brigade in Upstate New York.? We focused on training National Guard and Reserve units, also supporting the? Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) regions and our purpose was to synchronize any DoD support that would be required in case of a national emergency as the Defense Coordinating Element (DCE).? I am getting a little ahead of myself, so allow me to back up.

??????????????? The morning physical fitness session ended, and I was all sorts of sweaty (early to mid-September could still be hot and humid in upstate New York) sitting at my desk looking over some busy work as I procrastinated jumping into the shower. We worked out of old, World War II-era barracks with two long main floors, and a “communal” shower at the end of the structure. I occupied the nearest door to the main door and the ascending stairwell to the second floor. One of my teammates hurriedly ran down the stairs and yelled for everyone to come upstairs as something important was on television. I was the only one on the first floor at the time, and I simply ignored her. A couple of minutes later, another teammate, Captain Kathleen Jacobson came down and more urgently communicated to get up there. Begrudgingly, I pushed away from my desk, the sweat somewhat dried off, but still definitely foul to the smell. As I reached the second floor and moved toward an open area where the TV was, I saw the iconic images many of you can still vividly bring to mind. The first tower of the World Trade Center (WTC) was ablaze seemingly mid-structure.

I started to go into shock. Literally. Time paused for me. I couldn’t tell you how long I was standing there, eyes glued to the TV set when another plane struck the second tower. It wasn’t until I finally heard Kathleen, along with a shrug on my shoulder “Will, are you okay”?? I snapped back into reality and instinctively said yes as I realized tears were rolling down my cheeks. I wasn’t okay. I couldn’t explain it. So many emotions at one time overloaded my ability to respond coherently: shock, disbelief, sadness, rage, frustration with a feeling of helplessness. Fortunately enough, this catastrophic event is exactly one of the reasons the unit I was in was established. Unlike the rest of the military, I would be part of the initial response to the terror attacks of 9/11.

By early afternoon, the first vehicles of our team headed south and we ended up prepositioning at Ft. Dix, NJ, an uncomfortable 95-minute drive to Manhattan. Rightly so, the NYPD and FBI weren’t allowing traffic into the city at that point and we spent the night and the next day establishing contact with our FEMA teammates and the other 15 Emergency Support Functions.? We couldn’t make our way to the island on Wednesday either, but by Thursday, my boss, a few Soldiers, and members of FEMA were able to get up the west side highway. We were about four miles from Ground Zero. We quickly set up 24-hour operations and ran 12-hour shifts.? Once completed, those members going off-shift would get in vans and make the trek down to debarkation points, and get into the lines of folks who were hauling the rubble and debris from the WTC site.? I remember that time to be quiet.? Solemn.?? There were whispered, two to three-person conversations throughout our time there, but the volume always remained relatively light. It hadn’t been declared yet, but in reality, we were working on a 3k-person graveyard, and we approached our work accordingly.

In the four-week period we were deployed, we serviced just under 40 mission assignments.? The majority of the requirements were logistics-related, with quite a few for aerial reconnaissance and VIP transport.? Some of the ones unique that I remember included a device that was emplaced at the WTC complex that shot laser beams at the existing structures to determine their integrity.? Other resources were robotic devices of all shapes and sizes with varying types of wheels, treads, and belts, as well as those camera devices we see in spy movies today in an attempt to identify survivors, but in reality, were used to find remains of fallen citizens in the debris. Lastly, as you may imagine, the size and girth of the cluttered debris would range from a couple of feet to 30+ yards.? The torch in use could get through a block about this long in about an hour.? In the preceding five or so years, two Army engineers developed a hybrid mixture for a torch that could burn and cut the same piece in under five minutes. We flew them from Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri, and West Point respectively, and they assisted the NYFD in recalibrating their torches to cut faster.

About halfway through our deployment there, we switched shifts to give each member a different timeline, and I moved to the 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. shift. The Headquarters was pretty quiet when the sun went down and FEMA had a bare minimum crew.? I received a call from a Captain around 9:30 PM asking if I was there, and then who I was. In typical CPT Beck fashion, I responded without thinking, “Of course, I’m here, I picked up, didn’t I?? This is Captain Beck”.? I quickly realized this was an older-sounding gentleman, and that he was a 06 captain, not a 03 one like me.? “So, this is CPT Beck?? CPT William Beck?”? I changed my demeanor a little, and said, “Yes sir”.? He said thank you and told me not to go anywhere for 10 minutes, then hung up the phone.? I filed it in the “that’s weird” department, and went on to whatever I was doing.?

In exactly 10 minutes, the phone rang again, “DCE, CPT Beck speaking”, I was more professional this time.? “Is this Will?” the other side asked, the voice a little older, more grizzled.? I said, “Yes sir!”.? He introduced himself as GEN Buck Kernan, the Joint Forces Command Commanding General, an organization now disbanded, but then was the 4-star headquarters in charge of all things within the Continental United States and inter-service.? “I’m calling to see how you’re doing, Will”.? “I’m fine sir” I shot back immediately.? “No, Will, how are you really doing?”? I was stunned…for almost three weeks I hadn’t thought one bit about how I was doing, and Ranger’d up a third time “Sir, I’m doing great”.? “Will, I know you’re from New York (HOW Did he know that), and I know there is a lot of stuff on TV and the media saying that we are all New Yorkers now…but that’s not really true.? How are you“?? I lost it.? Tears welled in my eyes.? This 4-star General called me around 10 PM on a Friday to ask how CPT Beck was doing.? He knew my name was Will, not William.? He knew I was from New York.? We found out later that our commanding officer provided brief bios from everyone on the team.? This General saw I was the one member from NY, and made it a point to call me.? He didn’t check a box and hang up the phone. He made the effort to connect with me and that meant something.

I tried to be cool, but clearly wasn’t as I snot-answered “I’m going to be ok, I am right where need to be”.? He said “Don’t forget that Will.? You and your team are doing exactly what needs to be done right now.? Thank you.? When this is over, we’ll be asking you to do some other things for us”, and I knew exactly what he meant.? My mind raged for revenge, and I yearned to be on the next mission to seek justice for what just happened to my city and our country.? He ended the call by saying “great job” and to tell the rest of the team how much they are appreciated.? I hung up the phone, still somewhat stunned.? I lowered my head, and without even thinking of it, I called my parents, two New Yorkers themselves, and cried for the next 30 or so minutes with them. ?

So, why do we pause to remember 9/11?? At our ceremony this morning, Casey recalled the timeline and history of the day.? If we aren’t careful, we will begin to miss the opportunity of remembrance ceremonies in the first place. As we hit the first-month mark of our Fall semester, I realize this will be our first graduating class that was not alive when 9/11 occurred. To make me feel even older than I am, I’ve realized that we are almost to the point where my birth until the end of World War II matches the difference between our students to 9/11.? For most of us, we don’t have a “9/11 story” to share.? And that’s okay.?

?????It is a responsibility and an honor to share our experiences with those who come after us.? Not for some sense of “back in my day”, but as an opportunity to connect. My encouragement to the younger folks reading this has two components. First, call your folks, your grandparents, older siblings, and family friends, and simply ask them what they remember about 9/11.? You may find out they really hadn’t thought about it much these past two decades, and it affords them an opportunity to…remember.?? Second, as you make your way to class, ask your (much!) older Professors about 9/11.? This may afford an opportunity for a deeper discussion in your session than usual.

???? As I wrap this up, I’ll share that the day itself is really not about 9/11.? In some ways, of course, it is.? But for some of you reading this, you’re like “Will, this is great, but over the summer, grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer's”, or “I made it to campus this Fall, but I have no idea how I am going to make it financially in the Spring”, or “I have an appointment with my lawyer and the court date for my divorce is later this month” (all true events from our ORU “military” family).?

?????These are YOUR 9/11 moments.? We all have them.? When we do, it is important we turn to Him, and to others.? I am encouraged by the prophet's remarks “The bricks have fallen down, but we will rebuild with dressed stone; the fig trees have been felled, but we will replace them with cedars” (Isaiah 9:10). Isaiah speaks ultimately of our salvation, that only comes from Christ Jesus. After submitting to Him in prayer, it is also important to “heal” through the company of fellow believers.?

?????I don’t know what 9/11 moment you are enduring right now, but I do know you have a Father who is walking this with you and a family that wants to be there with you.? Don’t be silent about it.? We were meant to go through life together.?

Don’t “9/11 it” on your own.