Reflections. 9/11

9/11 a day forever etched in my mind.?It was just another day at work until...

8:46 am & 9:03 am

What I can describe as feeling is best conveyed as SHOCK & AWE. My brain trying to wrap itself around what my eyes were seeing & what my ears were hearing.

My heart in one word? Shattered.

Disbelief, concern, sadness, and Anger!

I grasped our world had & would forever be changed. The more my mind tried to process,?more & more the realization hit that many headed to work or traveled and over 2900 would never return.

Wives, Husbands, Fathers, Mothers, Brothers, Sisters, Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Aunts, Uncles, Best friends, Colleagues, employees GONE.

My mind struggling to grasp, all of them gone in one day, HOURS. This would be the moment I understood the implications of war. The feelings that this realization brought. Something I had been sheltered from and never faced before.?

It didn't stop there.

My brother has been a fire fighter all his life, I swear probably putting out fires in my mother’s womb.?No joke he lives & breathes it. If you have a FF in your family (or like I, many.) you understand the unbreakable bond these men & woman share.?

343 dead on 9/11. Another reality that for me clearly conceptualized loss on that day.?They ran in, braving the danger, risk & unknown and never made it out.

Trauma hit home.

My brother Mike Amesse is an exceptional fire fighter & has grown into an exceptional human being?from the time he bugged my existence with monopolizing the TV wanting to watch Emergency when I was a CHIPS fan.?

The struggle was real!?

On 9/11 Mike in true fashion to his character, organized that him & 4 Westmount Fire Fighters would leave Montreal to lend a much-needed hand to their FDNY brothers. More specifically Engine Company 54/Ladder 4/Battalion 9 in Manhattan, which lost 15 of its 16 firefighters in the attacks. Selfless, determined, loyal they were down there in a heart beat. I know he heard & saw things his memory will never have the capacity to erase.?As a sister, I wish I could shelter him from such things.

I just want to take a minute here to thank the Dispatchers who carried an immense responsibility that day, we forget about them, but imagine that your job was to direct?first responders into that war zone. I can't imagine.

Years later one of the funniest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing was my friend Matthew who is an NYPD officer and I call him Matty. He was there after 9/11, worked at ground zero.?Spent countless days, weeks & months searching for his colleagues, survivors and risked and paid with his own health to bring victims home or what remained of loved ones.?

Did that sound disturbing??

I know it did but imagine...

Many NYPD officers since helping the recovery & investigation at ground zero have lost their lives to cancer, suffered irreversible lung disease, not to overlook the mental trauma & scars.?Matty is like a big brother to me, his story and so many others deserve to be shared.?20 years later those touched still carry the pain.?The kids who lost mom or dad, irreplaceable relationships & connections.

We just owe it to this nation, these victims, the lost, to ALWAYS remember.?America isn't my native country, but it's been our ally, neighbour, and home to many of my wonderful friends whom I cherish.?This really was my heart & thoughts this morning spilled out on "paper". There is so much more that I could have touched & expanded on.

I understand my limited exposure doesn't cover everything, I simply shared what made Sept 11th forever change my perspective and,?in the tragedy reflected before me, the gift I found was the lesson to NEVER take a loved one for granted. Say goodbye & I love you more often...

My respect & sympathies continue to pour out for:

• 2,977 people were killed (and countless more suffered serious injuries and long-term health issues)
• 2,753 died at the World Trade Center site
• 343 of them were New York City firefighters
• 23 were NYPD officers
• 37 were police officers from the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey
• 184 people were killed when American Airlines Flight 77 crashed into the Pentagon
• 40 were killed on United Airlines Flight 93 that crashed near Shanksville, Pennsylvania
• Countless victims and first responders are still dying due to 9/11-related illnesses