Reflections of 2021

We have made it into a new year! Yes, we may have come out of 2021 with some bumps and bruises but the reality is we are here, alive and able to begin another chapter in this experience we call Life, and what better way to start the year with some reflections.

My Reflections of 2021

My entrance into 2022 was bittersweet. I and my husband were laid up in bed with Covid whilst having to attend to our four amazing children (referred to as The Cubs) amongst all of the external excitement that was taking place in our local area. On the flip side we were with our family, safe and sound amongst our creature comforts surrounding us. With our neighbours welcoming in the new year with loud music, glasses clanking and firework displays lighting up the sky, I asked myself - What are you thankful for?

This question haunted me until the early hours in the morning as my mind whizzed through all of the moments that stood out to me in 2021, both good and bad. The more difficult moments, which I had endured intense periods of introspection, were when I realised how much each lesson had taught me, and more than this, how I could action a better outcome over the next twelve months.

To start this year on a path that reminds me to honour the woman that I was, invest in the woman that I am and empower the woman I will be come tomorrow I have decided to make space for myself, and for you, to unfold our edges and allow our vulnerability to surface with this brand new newsletter - cleverly titled Honour. Invest. Empower. Today's article will summarise what three lessons I am referencing above and how I have/will action these new understandings. I hope that these intuitive pieces resonate with you and offer you the support and the compassionate guidance you might be currently needing as you embark on all that 2022 has to offer.

LESSON ONE - Fear Can Be A Good Thing

Throughout the majority of 2021, I allowed Fear to creep into my bones and befriend my inner critic. As I tried my best to settle into this new role of business woman alongside my weighty titles of mother and wife, I would often hear the echoes of fear telling me to "quit while I'm ahead" in order to save myself the embarrassment of failing in front of world. Being the determined woman that I am, I built up a wall of resistance to these cries, however, there were times when I would hear the rumbles of the concrete wall being slammed against. The efforts that I put up in order to protect myself from these negative thoughts were being tormented without any mercy. Some days it felt like Fear was seeking vengeance against me for not crumbling under its overbearing power.

On the 30th December 2021, after and much needed conversation with a dear friend, I decided to take action. This action came in the form of an acronym. F.E.A.R.

What I came to realise during my epiphany moment was that Fear like anything else causing tension/stress/anxiety, is a mental limitation that we (often) choose to lean into. I was choosing to let the harsh internal words of my inner critic/Fear have an affect on me. I also chose to run behind a mental brick wall to not put myself in a position to confront my fears, which now looking back is laughable. As an Intuitive Life Coach, I knew that I have the resources and the know-how to overcome this obstacle of cat and mouse, so I made a choice to change the narrative.

The Action: I made a conscious decision to meet Fear where it was at. I had the power to claim fear for what I believed it to be and not what it presented itself as. The mantra was born... It was time to fear less.

Face Everything And Rise = FEAR

Therapeutic Tip: By defining your feelings/thoughts/experiences you take back the power. You control the narrative. It is easier to shy away from what we want at times, rather than steeping into our power; but it is important that you confront your "demons". This can take time, so remember to be compassionate towards yourself. Actively listen to your inner knowing, that little voice that ignites a fire within your gut it never steers your wrong.

LESSON TWO - Focus On The Breath

2021 was another year where the world was holding its breath. From senseless killings, an ongoing pandemic, heightened emotions from the loss of loved ones and financial uncertainty for so many, our lungs were set to burst. Between my bouts of injuries, late nights, early mornings, school runs, and slow growth within my business my shoulders felt like I had the entire world on them.

As a Black woman it is an innate default to "be strong", to "preserve" to "smile even when your spirit is broken", and for the first half of the year that is what I did. I took the blows to the chin, the back, the arm, the thigh and continued on my path of just trying to survive. I reached a point when I knew this was not my portion in life, nor did it align with my purpose. Finding a sense of peace comes from giving yourself enough grace to know that you are deserving of your blessings, your success. Emotionally 2021 was emotionally taxing, but with my deeper level of understanding of my needs I was able to follow the advice I offer to so many woman that I work with - take the time to pause.

The Action: With a busy schedule it can seem hard to find those pockets of time to be with Self. With that being said, we can often lead ourselves astray with endless excuses as to why we are unable to get those five minutes to simply think. So the action that I decided take was to dedicate at least ten mins in the morning and ten mins in the evening to breathe. In the bigger scheme of twenty-four hours in a day, twenty minutes is a miniscule amount of time. Yet, twenty minutes can make all the difference in how I would feel mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Therapeutic Tip: There are times when less is more. By giving yourself a small amount of time to be with yourself and your thoughts can have a huge impact on your perception of Self and the world around you. We do not have spend hours within a day pouring into ourselves in order to feel like we are being kind to ourselves. Acknowledging and then making a realistic and sustainable plan of action will help you to make these brief sessions of self(less)ness more attainable. If needs be, set a reminder on your phone at the same time each day to prompt you in finding your ten minutes to meet your immediate need to exhale.

LESSON THREE - Being Your Best Self Is Not A Destination

Whenever a new year comes around we are force fed the idea of "new year, new me", like the old version of ourselves was not good enough to gain entry into the newest hotspot known as 2022. Through our dysfunctional attraction towards comparison and our addiction to scrolling the social media timelines, it is reasonable see how easy it is to fall down the rabbit-hole of trying to remove all evidence of our low points/flaws (uniquenesses) in the current year, so that we can feel anew for the year ahead that awaits us. Thankfully this was not a trap that I fell into, however, seeing others around me jump on the unrealistic train of thought gently reminded me that my efforts in this year are enough, heck I am enough. All that I managed to accomplish is valid and made me get to where I currently am as I wait for the clock to strike twelve. I did not need to reach an end goal because I already hit the milestones that make me who I am.

The Action: I opted to do what I love to do best - journal, write a few affirmations to empower me and set my intentions for the next three months. Instead of wasting my time ridiculing all the things I did not like about myself in 2021, I wanted to improve upon these areas and attributes that I improved or discovered during 2021 so that I can thrive during 2022.

Therapeutic Tip: Answer the following questions...

1. What were my weakness this year? How can I improve on them?
2. What three negative thoughts have I lived by this year? What would the growth/positive statement be to counteract them?
3. What were my strengths this year? How did they enhance my year?
4. What are my top three intentions for the next three months? What are the first steps I need to take to action these intentions?
5. What makes me feel good and how can I include more of these things in my daily/weekly/monthly practices?

Remember you are human, an ever evolving being. You are growing, learning, unlearning and re-learning how to navigate the spaces you occupy (both internally and externally). Being the best version of you is a process, because everyday you are the best version of you. You do the best you can with what you have and what you know. You enhance these versions of "best-ness" as you expand your understandings of self. There is no goal post that keeps moving, it is merely a case of your desire for being more attune with yourself increasing.

What have been your reflections of 2021? I would love to hear what you discovered and accepted about yourself as you transitioned into 2022. Leave a comment or message me privately.

CONTINUE YOUR GROWTH

If you would like to embark on a journey of sisterhood join the Sister Circle Membership - click here for more details.