Reflections 2020 and Reaffirmations of Hope 2021

To say 2020 was tough is a bit of an understatement, I am sure you will agree!

But I wanted to put into words what it has meant for me – the journey I have taken over the last year and my hopes for the future.

Reflecting...

I suppose, looking back, the first time I thought about starting my own business was about 4 years ago. I was going through a restructure at work and it had been decided that my role would be reduced to part-time – that was what the severely reduced budget dictated and I had to either do it or move on…

During that unsettling time, I looked at starting my own business – after all, I was good at what I did, had lots of experience and was totally focused on helping other people. I looked at Pink Spaghetti and liked what I saw. At that stage, though, what I did not have was the confidence to go it alone. I was offered another job, which I accepted, and moved on…

Hated the new job! Stayed a few weeks and left… started working for Whitbread and in the next two and a half years had my confidence boosted to such an extent that I honestly felt I could do anything!

Restructuring...

Enter 2020 – I was on a roll! Loving my job but starting to get a little concerned about the fact that some of the overseas travel had been ‘put on hold’ because of news of a virus circulating in the Far East. Nothing to worry about though, it will probably pass…

By the time lockdown happened I had already started working from home, based at the dining room table. Only temporary, we all thought, and soldiered on. Three weeks later I was furloughed.

And in July, news that Whitbread was restructuring and I was going to be made redundant. It was a bit of a hammer blow, to be honest. Knowing that so many other people were in the same boat did not soften the blow – far from it! I felt sick, useless and rejected, and could not see what I was going to do next. I had already started looking at other roles (just in case the worst should happen) and, like so many people, did not even receive a reply from most of the roles I applied for.

I spoke to a lot of people around that time – all of them with their fears and frustrations and some of them hanging on to lifelines of part time roles just to keep them going, or doing jobs they were massively over-qualified for, just so they had an income. And so many more who gave up their time and put themselves at risk so that they could go out and help others who, even though in a similar situation, were shielding or vulnerable and needed all the help they could get…

Resolving...

And that is when I decided – this was the fifth time in seven years I had been in the situation where my job was at risk and I had no say in what was happening – other people were in control of my life and I had had enough! So I looked again at Pink Spaghetti, knowing that I had liked the look of it before, and knowing that I had redundancy money which would pay for the franchise fees and that, honestly, I just wanted some control back!

I signed up in the middle of September, just as I was made redundant, and I started my training the same day! There followed a few weeks of training, homework, networking, 121s and learning, constantly learning, the like of which I had never seen before! All the things I had wanted to learn about and which I had been promised in the past but had never materialised, suddenly it was all there at my fingertips and I was like the proverbial sponge, soaking it all in!

Four months later and I am in my element – I feel like a weight has lifted from me and I could not be happier!

For the first month or so I suffered massively from ‘Imposter Syndrome’ – you know the kind of thing: Why do you think you can do that? What makes you think you can run a business? How dare you set yourself up as something special!

But that was when I realised – I was taking a chance that I really was good enough and we are all something special! All I had to do was believe that the many years I had spent supporting and helping other people had given me everything I needed to do the same thing, but on my own terms. That there were people out there who needed me, and I was now best placed to find them and help them, which is what I always wanted to do anyway, ever since I was at school and wanted to be ‘a teacher or a secretary’.

Although for most people 2020 has been a total write-off, for me it has been a journey of hope and expectation (although it did not feel that way to start with). In my heart of hearts, I know I did the right thing and, although I still have moments of doubt (don’t we all?) I believe that I was in the right place at the right time and took the right path.

Reaffirming...

I am filled with hope for the future! 2021, as with all the New Years before it, holds the promise of great things to come and, even though it has started on the back foot, has the potential to bring so much more into the lives and journeys of those who have navigated 2020 and come out the other side.

My wish for us all, as we travel through this new year together, is that we are all as kind to each other as we have learned to be, and that we can all support each other along a path which will still be difficult but promises to be infinitely better than what has gone before.