Reflections on 2019

2019....What a year it has been....

So very proud of and thankful for my girls this last year (Nicole, Chelsea and Sophia). They are my motivation, support and inspiration.

Personally 2019 has probably been my toughest year to date.

Personally 2019 has probably been my toughest year to date.

The sense of ‘balance’ between work and family was totally disrupted due to changing work demands, frequent travel and increased effort. August saw me like a wallowing ship and just going through the motions. Still doing my best for my teams and clients, but with a limited drive.

2019 saw me for the first time experiencing anxiety. Many people (friends and colleagues) have shared their experiences in this with me before, but to be honest, I truly did not understand it (though did not disregard it) until now.

Thankfully I had the opportunity and support to move to a 4 day week for close to the remainder of the year, and access to an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). This provided me with time.... to discuss, reflect, assess and challenge myself.

Through the last 3 months of 2019, I've had time to reflect, and through many discussions, gained clarity of thought to confirm my passions and redefine my purpose. Off the back of this I decided 2020 would be different (more on this later). From my 2019 experience I would like to share some thoughts, challenges and support to you all.

1. Listen to your body and friends

This might be obvious, however it wasn’t for me. Maybe it was bravado or arrogance, but in reality I had many people (and my body) telling me to stop and assess what I was doing. Thankfully nothing significantly negative arose from my inaction, apart from impact on my family, friends and colleagues. This may have been being grumpy or short, or even distant. To those who experienced this, my apologies, and my thanks for continuing to be there.

2. Share

Most recently, having realised the importance of talking and listening, I have been chatting with friends and colleagues. Sharing thoughts, concerns. Encouraging and supporting one another. This has been both challenging and rewarding.

3. Ask for help

We hear this often and we need to keep saying it…. Ask for help. It is amazing the release of tension I experienced once I started to share what I was feeling (while not yet understanding it or what it meant). So to this point there are many resources and just to name a few:

RUOK?

Employee Assistance Program (EAP) - Many companies invest in EAPs to provide support to their employees. See if your company has this available.

having someone completely outside of my work and personal situation enabled me to talk very candidly

This is where I put in a big plug for TSA Management and their commitment to the Employee Assistance Program. There are many forms of EAP, and TSA has invested in one that covers a wide range of employee concerns, both work and personal. I am thankful to TSA for not only investing in the EAP, but in strongly encouraging me to engage with it. For me, while I had had some time to rest and reflect, it was not until I had met with a counsellor via the EAP, that I was able to pull a lot of what is above together. So if your employer offers an EAP service, please engage with it. If they don’t, then suggest they do, and in the mean time consider seeking a counsellor. For me having someone completely outside of my work and personal situation enabled me to talk very candidly of my feelings and experiences.

4. Rest & Reflect

Through the extended times of travel and being away from home, I started to listen to podcasts instead of just music on the many hours of driving. While I had been typically resistant to listening to podcasts (imagining a series of talk-back radio shows) a few friends finally pointed me down the path and I haven't looked back. See below some which helped me if you are interested. The listening to the podcasts did not fully help me though until I found the time to rest and reflect. Only then could I mull over what different people had shared, their struggles and successes, to then help me work out my passion and purpose.

I often limited my holidays, lunch breaks or even personal time during the week to put more effort into work. And while its great to be committed and reliable, I have come to realise that without true rest, you can't reflect and recharge. The opportunity for me to work 4 days a week for a period, enabled me the chance to not only rest, but to truly reflect. This rest and reflection time also provided more time for me to listen to others.

If you have made it this far….

Thank you for your patience and ear. I hope I have either inspired you to take action or be ready to offer support to those around you. Hopefully this won’t be the last time I will be talking on this and similar topics. Please reach out if you have any questions or comments.

If you haven’t already, plan some time to slow down, think and reflect.

Thanks again for reading.... and a special thanks to those who have helped me along the way

Podcasts to get you started

I am by no means an expert here or qualified to recommend, however the following podcasts helped me to assess and redefine my passion and purpose by hearing other peoples purpose and how they got there, as well as being a part of discussion around what I felt work should be like.

Jay Shetty - On Purpose

Claire Hooper - The Pineapple Project (Series 2)

Tim Ferriss - The Tim Ferriss Show

Peita Diamantidis - In Search of Adventure Show

BTW there are a lot of podcasts, ranging across many topics. My suggestion is find people and topics which you can relate to. Ask friends and colleagues what they are listening to and enjoy.