Reflection on Veterans Day

Every year on Veterans Day I take a moment to write a note or send a text to friends who have served in our nation’s military forces. This year, the first time I’ve had Veterans Day off work, my thought was to spend a little more time reflecting on the roles Veterans have played in my life.

The first people I thought about were my family members who have served. My great uncles on my mother’s side, were career military men and one who made the ultimate sacrifice.

• My great Uncle Col. Graden J. Casto – USAF, who called me his “fishing buddy” after spending a couple afternoons teaching me how to fly fish.

• Earl Casto, a retired Korean war paratrooper, that was always up for a hike when he and his wife Carolyn would summer at Holly River State park. I still have the small brass compass he gave me and I used the down sleeping bag he gave me well into grad school.
• Staff Sergeant Steven Paul Mollohan , the great uncle I never knew, who was lost in the Vietnam conflict, and I can remember my Grandmother talking about missing him. I also remember standing in front of the Vietnam War Memorial in DC to capture a rubbing of his name. A name I know is also etched on the Veterans Memorial at the WV State Capitol.

Including my more immediate family members who served while I was growing up.

• Lorraine J. Wong, my Aunt Rainy, who was an Army nurse at Ramstein Air Force base during Desert Storm in the early 90’s. She was a force of nature who sadly passed during the Pandemic.
• Erwin Casto, my uncle, who served for decades in the US Coast Guard in New York, NY; Cape May, NJ; and Corpus Christy, TX. I think he also spent some time working on the Great Lakes on a ice breaker, because I can remember him showing me pictures of his ship breaking free from ice packed water.

Then about the Veterans I knew in my community growing up who I connected with through my involvement in American Legion Mountaineer Boys State . I’m sure many people know what girls and boys state are but they may not know that it’s origins trace their way back to different America before WWII. When the German American Bund, was establishing Hitler Youth summer camps across the US .

I remember learning to march in formation as well as the importance of protecting and defending our system of Democracy, the value of the free exchange of ideas, the nature of justice, and the rights and privileges as well as the duties and the responsibilities of a franchised citizen. Something I think we could do well to think about today. This was where I first met WV Medal of Honor winner Hershel "Woody" Williams and probably the majority of Veterans I’ve had the privilege of getting to know throughout my life.

The experience was so transformational that I would go on to serve as a Boys State Counselor for four more years in college. Sometimes, I still find myself singing in my head, WV Poet Laureate and resident of my hometown, Roy Lee Harmon’s:

“Men of Tomorrow”

Someday the State we love will call for leaders strong and bold

To solve the problems great or small and we’ll be enrolled

For service to our fellowmen, and we won’t be afraid,

We’re training now for service, then we’ll lead the big parade.

Oh, we’re the .

Men of Tomorrow, we march along in happy ranks today.

We never borrow a bit of care or grief along the way.

Gladly we’re learning the things a good American should know.

Gladly we’re yearning to chart the way a patriot should go.

With lessons done, objectives won

Good citizens we’ll be;

We’ll proudly stand in our home land

When Mountaineers are free,

Men of tomorrow, good fellowship each one of us enjoys,

Men of tomorrow . . . a group of all-American boys.

I thought about all the LGBTQ+ Veterans I have known. Brave individuals who have served our nation in combat, willing to give their life, even when the institution they swore to protect, defend and serve failed to afford them the protection of their own freedom.

It’s probably my age but many LGBTQ+ Veterans who are my elders served under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. I was so honored to hear their stories. Including a UU Minister who served in Desert Storm Army Chaplin and grief counselor, an Air Force Airman First-Class who served in Bosnia in late 90’s, a Marine officer who shared how difficult it was for them to serve with the feeling of constantly being “found out” and discharged.

I’ve also known LGBTQ+ Veterans who were discharged without benefits because they were outed, some of who have thankfully had their benefits restored and others who have spent years waiting for decisions.

Growing up in West Virginia post 9/11, I had so many friends who went into the military as a way of escaping generational poverty. They served in Iraq and Afghanistan and many of whom came home, even when their return was delayed by stop-loss extensions.

These were, to me, peers and folks who would have been the ages of brothers and sisters. As a psychologist in training, I saw so many of my academic friends dedicate their time and knowledge to helping this generation of Veterans return home. When I entered my academic field in 2012, I helped coordinate events with the VA Hospitals and Mental Health Centers to help veterans access resources. I remember handing gun locks to Veterans at health fairs as Veteran suicide rates skyrocketed. I also remember spending time at Camp Nelson with Gold Star Families, listing to wives and children sharing memories of their lost and loved service members.

Note: Most people don’t know/remember when Veteran and active-duty suicide rates surpassed non-Veteran suicide rates in the US. Many times these involved fire arms, the problem was that many Veterans were afraid that if they shared their feelings and thoughts their firearms would be taken away. The VA and many mental healthcare organizations handed out cable gun locks to delay access to their firearm by adding an extra step to their accessibility.

This Veterans Day, I encourage everyone to of course thank those Veterans in your life but to also take a moment to spend some time in deep reflection. Consider the stories of Veterans who have impacted you and your community, each unique and profound. Their lives and service paint a vivid picture of bravery, sacrifice, and resilience. From the silent struggles under Don't Ask Don't Tell to the pursuit of new beginnings through military service, each narrative part of a larger story of our nation. Their diverse experiences remind us of the complex, often untold, journeys of those who serve. Consider how you too can express your sense of gratitude towards these men and women. Their stories help us to understanding of the heart and history of our country and can inform our future.