A Reflection on Remembrance Sunday. Honouring Sacrifice with Compassion

Each year, as Remembrance Sunday approaches, we are reminded to pause, reflect, and honour the sacrifices made in the name of freedom, security, and the values that define our fragile way of life. As a former serviceman myself, this day calls us to remember not only those who stood on the front lines but all who endured from behind, family members, friends, and communities who faced their own battles in the shadows of conflict.

My understanding of the importance of Remembrance Day began with stories from my grandfather, a captain in the Royal Artillery who served in World War II. He was trapped on the beach at Dunkirk for days, a time he described vividly as a taste of hell on earth. He told of the chaos, the unending noise, the fear that pulsed through each day and night. And yet, amid that chaos, there was a strange comfort. Having his men beside him, his “oppo” next to him, facing that hell together. The camaraderie, the shared sense of purpose, made a horrific situation just a bit more bearable. Those words left a lasting impression on me, even as a young child, about the importance of standing by one another, especially when facing the unthinkable.

This Remembrance Sunday feels especially poignant for me. This year, I lost two friends who embodied the very qualities we honour on this day.

Bob, an ex-Royal Navy Chief Petty Officer who I first met as part of my team at the prison, was a steady, grounding presence, a leader who guided with a smile, compassion and strength, and who lost his battle earlier this year.

Gary, an ex-Royal Marine who was my direct oppo when I started at Channings Wood Prison, was more than a mentor. He became a friend, someone whose loud persona and visible resilience and wisdom left a deep impact on me. Lost to a heart condition in the spring. Both men served with unwavering dedication, and their ‘journey over the bar’ is a reminder of the cost that comes with a life dedicated to service.

The memories remind me that service goes beyond the battlefield. It’s about standing shoulder to shoulder with those around us, finding strength in shared purpose, and never underestimating the power of compassion. Compassion, as I’ve come to understand, is the force that binds us. It’s what allows people to endure unimaginable hardship, to rebuild after loss, and to continue on in the face of adversity. Compassion is what my grandfather spoke of when he described Dunkirk, what Bob brought to our team each day, and what Gary showed in his loud, but steady way of leading others from the front.

On Remembrance Sunday, we gather to remember those who gave their lives, but we also remember the families, friends, and communities who supported them from afar. These individuals, though not on the front lines, carry their own form of courage. They are the ones who keep life steady, who hold the fabric of ‘normal’ together even in the face of their own fears. Their quiet endurance is often overlooked, yet it deserves our utmost respect and, above all, our compassion.

As we look to a world still marked by conflict and change, the need for compassion is more urgent than ever. Compassion isn’t just about honouring those who return from conflict, it’s about fostering a culture of empathy, resilience, and support. It’s about recognising the impact that war and strife have on individuals and communities alike, and the fears that ripple through our society as we watch a world that seems increasingly volatile. Supporting one another isn’t a matter of obligation; it’s the right thing to do. And it begins with each of us, in the choices we make every day, in the kindness we offer, in the way we choose to live in honour of those who sacrificed.

For many, Remembrance Sunday will consist of a few solemn hours, a moment of silence before life resumes. But for those who have lost loved ones, who live daily with the memories of those they served alongside, remembrance isn’t confined to a single day. It’s a part of their lives, woven into their daily experiences. For them, the world will never be quite the same. It is our duty to honour that by creating a society where compassion and understanding are not merely ideals but values we live by. Remembrance calls us to live with purpose, with compassion, and with a commitment to supporting others.

As I remember those who have served and those we have lost, I am reminded of the phrase that I first saw on the wall in a barracks in Basingstoke, “Always a little further.” These words (from a poem by J.E.Flecker) resonate with the endurance and spirit of those who face adversity, those who continue on in the face of loss, step by step, in honour of those who came before them. As we look back and honour those who gave so much, let’s carry that spirit forward, extending support and compassion every day, in every act of kindness, every moment of understanding, and every decision we make to uphold the values that others have fought to protect.

In reality, it is through compassion that we truly honour those sacrifices. We honour them not only with words but with actions, by creating a world where kindness and support are as steadfast as the courage they showed. And so, on this day, as we remember all who have served, let us do so with a renewed commitment to compassion, to supporting one another, and to building a future worthy of their sacrifice.

Lest We Forget.