Reflection: Quiet Noise

A bout of Covid has had me home for the week.

As usual, it mixes the familiar and the weird.

I have progressed through the standard assortment of aches, fever, chills, cough, and cold stuff. I have moved from being miserable with medicine, to ok without it.

On the other hand, it has messed with my memory, given me strange dreams, and at times just made me feel stupid. It’s an odd bug.

Six days in, I’m still positive, but the worst is behind me. It’s not a big deal, but not the deal I was seeking, either.

The weirdest thing about Covid may be the isolation. In an effort to spare my wife, first, and society, second, I have spent a week in relative solitude.

But it’s not the productive solitude of a healthy week. It hasn’t been a time of reflection and prayer, or writing and creating. I’m kinda just getting to that.

It’s more been the isolation from the people and things I connect with even when I’m alone, whether it is my family, friends, neighbors, and colleagues, or the books, audio, video voices that are normally part of my day.

For a few days, I had no patience for anything that wasn’t funny.

I watched parts of the DNC, and some selected TV programs (More on this soon).

And in the quiet, I’ve been reminded how noisy my life is, and how much I fill it with things that keep me from being alone with my thoughts.

There is power in stillness, whether it’s in body, mind, or spirit. There is power in the quiet, whether internal or external. And in the age of the ever-present cellphone, it’s something we seldom practice.

In Psalm 46, God steps between warring parties and says “Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10 ESV).” Nations and kingdoms may rise to do battle. Wars of words and ideas, and bows and spears may start, but He says stop.

In Matthew 6, Jesus calls us to privacy in prayer, in contrast to those who want to be seen, and and admired for their spiritual practices: “But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Matthew 6:6 ESV)” Even those of us who lead others in public prayer must pray for an audience of one. And managing this tension is a lifelong struggle.

In 1 Kings 19, God reveals himself to Elijah, not in the great wind, or the earthquake, or the fire, but in a still small voice. If we are seeking spectacle, we will miss it. If you have earthquake faith, you may be exciting to be around, but you may not hear from God.

God often calls us to slow down, get quiet, and listen. And just as often, we can’t be bothered.

I even found myself, today, needing to stand by my lifeless car (I’ll tell you all about it) with a dead phone battery, and nothing to read, or listen to, or do. and just watch the world for 90 minutes. And it was not easy, because it’s something I never do.

So today, as I work through this momentary isolation, I’m listening more closely

So today, as I await my first negative test, I’m looking for new positives.

As my mind and body slowly return to normal, I’m praying that my noise diet doesn’t.

Either way, I’m glad to be here.

God is good.

Today was good.

And tomorrow will be better.

See you soon.