A Reflection on Pride: Not Forgetting the Forgotten

With the vast amount of news content I find myself processing these days, I felt compelled to help underscore the historic milestone made this month. In a landmark decision, after 56 years since the passing of the Civil Rights act of 1964, the Supreme Court has ruled that the LGBTQ+ community is in fact included in its protections against unlawful termination.

One may already be accepting and wonder what this ruling actually means in 2020; "It's not a big deal anymore" is something I hear often living in the Northeast. Consider though that one person's acceptance doesn't necessarily imply that everyone is accepting, but policy can help build a culture of acceptance. It can give peace of mind, knowing that I or any person can apply for any job, anywhere, and still have a fair shot. It's stability in one aspect of life when everything else is uncertain. To anyone who has ever struggled with their sexuality, this is everything.

It might help to understand that for many LGBTQ+ individuals, each and every decision made is made through the lens of judgement, from where you walk at night, to who you hold hands with, to which coworkers you talk to, to where you get married. The perpetuation becomes inevitable and permanent. This is the internal pain and fear you most often don't see. 

I could try and explain the feeling of having your life threatened or being turned away at a jewelry store, but in general I've been lucky. I've been lucky to have accepting parents while growing up in Boston and to work for an incredibly diverse company that believes in me to succeed. But, I know that for every one of me, there are a silent ten who are compelled to live as someone they are not to avoid everything from disownment to physical harm.

As I write this, I have friends being coerced into heterosexual marriage by their family. I know others who are constantly dodging questions from their conservative parents about their love life, just so they can enjoy one more year of feeling normal before having to face their grim realities. In this very moment, I'm not sure if my partner's parents will ever know who I am to their son or whether he'll ever be able to go back home if they do. These may seem like the exceptional situations, but to the gay community, these conflicts are just considered normal hurdles to be crossed, and they shouldn't be.

Since the passage of the Marriage Equality Act in 2015 and this new addition to a growing list of realized rights for the LGBTQ+ community, there is no doubt that I'm increasingly hopeful for the future, but for many others, that hope is and always has been seemingly out of reach. That's why I'm a big believer in leading by example. I focus my effort on being the best partner I can be and being the best at my job so I'll eventually be in a position to help create those cultures of acceptance for others who still hold fear at home or at work. That is, I hope, what will be the driving force of change going into the future: not just any one person, but the millions of LGBTQ+ individuals worldwide, working and living normally as themselves in a world that recognizes their equal capability.

ACT: This month, If you do know someone in the gay community and want to show your support, DO share their stories, DO support LGBTQ+ film, but most importantly, BE the person in their life who believes in them and wants them to succeed. For all you know, you may be the only one in their life who does.

You can read the full New York Times story on the Supreme Court ruling here.