Reflection: Older and Wiser

Proverbs 8:22-31 GNT22 “The Lord created me first of all, the first of his works, long ago. 23 I was made in the very beginning, at the first, before the world began.

In Proverbs 8 an anthropomorphized wisdom implores the immature and the foolish to listen to her and grow wise. And in doing so, she touts her most fundamental credential.

She has been around.

She is the quintessential O.G.

This is not her first rodeo. She was AT the first rodeo.

She is not new to this; She’s true to this. And by this, I mean life. She’s not just about that life. She’s about life itself.

In other words, she knows a thing or two about a thing or two. And she’s not only willing, but eager to share it.

And the rest of us who don’t, would be wise to listen.

So why don’t we?

In adolescence, we are developmentally eager to establish ourselves.

It is psychologist Erik Erikson’s fifth stage: Identity vs. Role Confusion. We explore our interests, values and goals, which helps us to shape our identity. If denied this opportunity, we may end up unsure of who we are and how we fit in the world.[1]

15 year olds are supposed to know everything. Rejecting conventional wisdom and elder experience helps them to discover their passions, choose how to relate to the world, and grow into the stable, mature people they’ve been designed to be.

In theory.

Unfortunately, a lot of us get stuck here. We enter into an extended adolescence, in part because we don’t have sufficient opportunity, materially, intellectually, emotionally, or socially, to develop independence from our parents, our peers, or the culture at large.

Maturity doesn’t come with age; it comes with the acceptance of responsibility.

This is true in our personal lives. It is also true in our politics.

Many of our political problems express an adolescent posture toward the world.

Expecting the government to fix all our problems is an adolescent mentality.

Expecting to live in society paying only for the things we use is an adolescent mentality.

Choosing a leader, even in part, because of how much they anger our enemies is an adolescent mentality. We probably all know people who are great at insults but couldn’t lead an organization. Some of them are adolescents themselves.

Expecting to benefit from the contributions of others while declining to contribute in meaningful ways ourselves is an adolescent mentality.

Clinical psychologist and author Anthony E Wolf, PhD, wrote a book in 1992 on raising teenagers called “Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Take Me and Cheryl to the Mall?"

It’s an outrageous question that captures the contradictions of this life stage.

And this is where receiving the wisdom of those who have experienced things we have not and have accepted responsibility for things we have not can save us years of heartache.

If we build our organizations based on “commercial viability” or “cultural relevance”, we may erroneously conclude that our elders have nothing to offer.

And then we may find ourselves lacking depth in a crisis.

We need to build in such a way that we honor our roots, but aren’t afraid to grow past them.

We need to foster a culture that respects the past, lives in the present, and plans for the future.

If we do that, we will grow in every direction.

If we don’t, we will have seasoned people watching us make the same mistakes over and over again, while the new people frustratedly find no foundation on which to build, and no room for growth.

Wisdom is calling.

I pray we answer well.

1. Saul Mcleod, “Erik Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development,” Simply Psychology, October 16, 2023, https://www.simplypsychology.org/erik-erikson.htmal.