Reflection

This Week: Reflection – One Step Back

Now we’ve reached the final part of the Cha-Cha-Cha Dance: Reflection.

After taking action, it’s time to take one step back—not to retreat, but to reflect. This allows you to release, let go, and gain a clearer perspective on how far you’ve come and where you’re headed next.

When reflecting, it’s crucial to ask yourself deeper questions that will truly help you assess your progress and next steps:

• What have I learned from this experience so far? (Think about the insights or lessons you’ve gained, even from mistakes.)
• How has this change impacted my mindset, habits, or behaviours? (What internal shifts have you noticed since starting this journey?)
• What obstacles did I overcome and how did I manage them? (Acknowledge your resilience and the challenges you’ve successfully navigated.)
• What areas need further improvement? (Where do you still feel resistance or uncertainty? This helps highlight areas for future focus.)
• Am I still aligned with my original goal, or has that goal evolved? (Sometimes, reflection reveals that our goals have shifted as we grow. That’s okay—it’s part of the process.)

By asking these more detailed questions, you’re not just looking back at what you’ve done, but also gaining clarity on what needs to change or stay the same as you move forward.

Debrief

Reflection is more than a quick look back; it’s a debrief with yourself. It’s gathering all the data you’ve collected through experience and having the courage to make adjustments. This process lets you better understand what worked and what didn’t, and it gives you the clarity to decide your next move. If decision-making tends to overwhelm you, especially out of fear of making mistakes, reflection can be your best tool for clarity.

To streamline your decisions during reflection, ask yourself these three guiding questions:

1. Is this challenge or decision within my control?
2. Is this in someone else’s control?
3. Is this in the hands of fate/the universe/God?

Sometimes, we stress over things outside of our control—like waiting for someone else to make a decision. Reflecting on these questions allows you to shift your focus to what you can control, freeing you from unnecessary worry and helping you concentrate on your own actions.

For Example

When I ran a community newspaper and hosted business events in South Africa, I had to manage a lot of moving parts: venues, speakers, catering, sound, sponsors, and even dealing with load-shedding (scheduled power outages). I learned to break everything down:

• What I could control: Reaching out to speakers, venues, caterers, and sponsors.
• What was in others’ control: How they responded to my requests.
• What was out of anyone’s control: Load-shedding or other unforeseen issues.

By focusing on what was within my control and letting go of what wasn’t, I could minimise stress and still plan a successful event. Afterwards, I always held a debrief session with my team and suppliers to reflect on what went well, what didn’t, and what we could improve next time. This reflection process helped us grow and adapt to challenges, making every event better than the last.

Let Go of Resistance

If you reflect with compassion and understanding, it’ll motivate you to keep going, even when things don’t go perfectly. Don’t give up—success often comes right when you’re about to throw in the towel. I’ve experienced this time and again. When you let go of resistance and accept that change is uncomfortable but necessary, breakthroughs happen. It’s like that moment when you finally relax, and the answers present themselves.

A few years ago, I went out with a group of women for dinner. As we were leaving, an older man near the door kept shouting, "Close that darn door!" He was sitting directly in the draft but refused to move. It struck me as the perfect example of resisting change. Instead of shifting away from the door, where the cold air was guaranteed, he stayed put and kept complaining.

We are not trees—we can move when we need to. If you don’t like where you are, or if reflection shows you that you’re stuck, it’s time to move on.

If you or your team are looking for an experienced keynote speaker or mindfulness facilitator to become more resilient as you adapt to change through applying self-leadership skills, then do reach out for a complimentary discovery call.

Happy Tuesday to you.