A Reflection

In the early hours of this weekend one of my best and oldest friends was unplugged from this life by the Coronavirus. Although not entirely unexpected, the totality of the event and the brute factness of a death in one's inner circle struck home. There is no way of “presenting the truth in its most favorable light” or relativizing what happened.

This led me to write this spontaneous, unplugged piece, in remembrance of a man, who to me more than anything was the very symbol of a person, with an unwavering commitment to un-retouched truth and acting in the reality of what really exists.

In all the discussions about leadership these days, many people are out there peddling techniques so you can make people believe something advantageous to yourself, often with a somewhat elastic relationship to the facts, what is really there.

My friend was quite the opposite. As a young person I was picked up by him and he taught me by example – not so many words – the nonnegotiable nature of truth. As a real mentor, he would keep an eye on you, give you a call and make sure you were aware of the warning signs or speed bumps ahead. 

He was a leader for many of us, but did not rise to positions of power over other people. In fact he did not want it, out of “laziness” he would say. But I know that it was because of his servant-leader instinct, and later I learned that he also had seen too many examples of people getting caught in the tentacles of power. Instead my friend over the years has invested his time and other resources in the people that crossed his path and were in need of help or guidance. He kept working into his seventies serving his colleagues but without formal authority over them.

True leadership is about character first, then clarity and competence, all three have to be in place, but it starts with character. A character that  exhibits trustworthiness,  to stand up for value under pressure and be able to lay ego aside and decide for the common good. Reflecting on the life of my friend highlights all that. I was changed, and nobody changes by being told, we have to be shown.