A Reflection on Alex Elle's Reminder that Quitting Needs to be an Option

6 months. Today marks the last day of the 6th month Moyal Enterprises LLC has been in business. I get asked all the time "how has it been" and I admittedly get uncomfortable answering that question. "I don't know, it's been a lot," I usually say. How do you explain all of the work, the moments of self doubt, the moments of extreme elation, the worry about whether you can pay the bills, the exhaustion when you're working late into the night when your spouse is asleep, the reinvigoration in knowing your decisions are your own and your gut is only yours to follow, the blossoming of new relationships, the work, the work, THE WORK. Because it's been work. I don't know how it's been, because it's been a lot.

I wrote myself a letter 6 months ago on FutureMe.com and had it held to be sent on August 1st. I had forgotten I wrote that letter. "Right now, as of writing this letter, I am in a limbo," the letter starts out. February 1st was a time when I didn't have a full business model, I only had an idea and possible contractor options. I was weighing certain accounts and what options I had. But something didn't feel right in the models continually being presented to me. The letter continues with insecurities, past items I needed to get over, dreams and hopes. But the paragraph I read over and over was this one:

I hope when I read this in 6 months, I will have consistent business. I will have this business off the ground. I will be advocating for a list of my own athletes. I will be learning what it means to be an entrepreneur and excited about my brand growth. I will probably be tired, but that's ok as I will be working hard and working for myself. I hope I will have created some really great campaigns and offered great advice to my clients.

Incremental changes matter, but they are hard to see. Knowing the incredible things that are now truths that were fears in that statement was astonishing for me to recognize. I had to reread that paragraph a few times. I do have consistent business. I do have a business off the ground. I do advocate for my own list of athletes. I have learned entrepreneurship and watched my brand grow. I am tired, but I am working hard for myself and my team we are building. And I have created some incredible campaigns and made great changes for my clients. I have. I have. I have.

Around the same time I read that letter to myself, one of my favorite poets, Alexandra Elle, came out with her weekly gratitude newsletter. The title was "Quitting Needs to be an Option". I placed the full words down below as it's something all of us need to read and really understand. However, this line in particular really stuck out to me:

"Over the years, I've come to terms with having to walk away from things, relationships, and behaviors that no longer work for or with me." - Alex Elle

Every time I quit a job, I was speaking up beforehand about what shifts I needed to stay employed there. Usually, for a long time. And most times, those truths and conversations fell on deaf ears. I have never walked away from a job where I haven't expressed myself. Hear me on that. See, it's much easier for someone to over work and underpay you until you don't even have enough free time to look for a new job. They purposely get you stuck. I had that pattern happening over and over again. It wasn't lost on me that, as a woman, I was usually asked to do an extremely high amount of work, take on faults of others and their work, and be expected to go "above and beyond" when the men around me were usually underqualified, not held accountable, and disrespectful. And still paid more. I started to watch incredible women in my life leave "dream jobs" and build their own destiny. I was in awe. "I could never do that," I'd tell myself. And then one day, I hit my limit at my last job and I just quit at the end of a weekday workday. Because this: "I spent years trying to make things work that just were not working or in my best interest". This. And had I not reevaluated what does work for me, I would never have leaped into this new company that is thriving and brought me incredible peace. I feel so blessed.

This is your reminder. Quitting. Needs. To. Be. An. Option. And this reminder is not only for women or those in sports. It's for everyone who doesn't feel alignment in where they are in life. Friends. Family. Work. The city you live in. The activities you do. The burdens you take on. Stop suffering. Find your empowerment and seek better because we all deserve a beautiful life. This journey has taught me that when I felt low, when I felt abandoned, there were other people and things there for me and support me that I hadn't seen before. There is a positive to taking charge of your destiny and being bold enough to listen to what you need. Asking for help is strength, not a weakness. And if you aren't getting the help and support you deserve, quit that situation.

"Alignment is central for me in this season of life. I no longer need or want to stay anywhere that I've outgrown. Something that I am grateful to be learning is that I do not have to stick anything out or suffer through things—especially things not meant for me." - Alex Elle

Quitting needs to be an option. Period.

Alexandra's full excerpt:

"Last month, I wrote about quitting sometimes needing to be an option. Letting go isn't always a bad thing. It shapes us and makes room for new beginnings. We aren't less than for changing course and finding a new path. In a world that celebrates "sticking it out" (even when we're miserable), we can find ourselves confused and misaligned from our truth, joy, and peace of mind. Yes, it's hard to let things, people, places, and habits go—but it's also illuminating to see what needs to be released for us to receive.

Over the years, I've come to terms with having to walk away from things, relationships, and behaviors that no longer work for or with me. I spent years trying to make things work that just were not working or in my best interest. Alignment is central for me in this season of life. I no longer need or want to stay anywhere that I've outgrown. Something that I am grateful to be learning is that I do not have to stick anything out or suffer through things—especially things not meant for me.

I've learned to accept that we can't always finish what we start—and it's okay if we don't want to. We can be grateful for a season and [also] be glad that it's over. Life isn't always black or white. Sometimes it's gray. I'm learning to accept and find gratitude in that. There's a lot of self-awareness to be gained as we make decisions to put things down that do not align with who we are today.

Grateful living reminds me to release what needs to be released. It teaches me that I do not have to struggle through things just because of the time invested. Letting go allows us all the room and opportunity to start over and find what works and what does not, what nourishes and what drains, what heals us and what harms us.

Something that I hold close as I grow, change, and heal is that I rather part ways and trust my reroute than stay stuck going in circles.

Trusting our new path(s) takes courage and self-belief. It's not a walk in the park, but I think that is where the lesson truly is. When we dig deeper into the soil of grateful living, we uncover the root of lives. And while, yes, everything won't be effortless—and some of the decisions we have to make will leave us feeling confused or on edge—all of what we walk through can and will teach us something if we allow it.

That is where we learn to lean into gratitude." - Alex Elle

NOTE: Alex's books and newsletter have been instrumental in changing my life. This weekly gratitude reminder sets perspective I often find trouble seeing myself. If you are interested in signing up for her community, here is the link to subscribe to her network: https://alexellewrites.bulletin.com/quitting-needs-to-be-an-option/ . She also has a new book coming out that you can pre-order. Lastly, her novel After The Rain is one of the most incredible things I have read and I recommend it to everyone.