Reflecting On Your Midlife Journey And What Is To Come

The 14th-century poet Dante wrote, “Midway in life’s journey, I was made aware that I had strayed into a dark forest, and the right path appeared not anywhere.”

Perhaps no one told Dante that he needed to wander a bit further out of the dark forest and two paths would appear.

Whenever I reflect on my midlife journey, the sheer thingy of life, who I am and how I got here, I usually hear the lyrics to one of two songs. The first is Stairway To Heaven.

Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run. There's still time to change the road you're on.

Midlife Crossroads

The two paths might symbolise the crossroads we often face in midlife. Which way should we go? But also looking back at how you got here. Looking back, you’ll see many choices, each representing different aspects of your life – careers, relationships, personal growth, or unfulfilled dreams. The crossroads are not just about the paths taken but also those not chosen. The opportunities missed, and the what-ifs that linger in our minds.

I think when reflecting that cringing about some of the stuff that you've done or didn't do is a waste of time - we are always on the right path.

"But in the long run", feels rather wistful. I feel it implies that our story is continuously evolving, and the journey is far from over. Because eventually things will feel and be just right.

And. The best is yet to come.

"There's still time to change the road you're on" is perhaps the most poignant and hopeful aspect of these lyrics for someone in midlife. It speaks to the potential for change, transformation and growth, no matter where one finds themselves. You can change things. No one ever said that you can't do something different. The world is littered with stories of 'old' people making it in later life - oh shock, horror!

Midlife is when many revaluate their lives and contemplate new directions. So are you ready to embrace the possibility of change and reassess where you are and where you want to be? Your past decisions do not irrevocably determine your future. Change, and the stuff you really want is always within reach.

No matter where you find yourself, there is still time to change the path you are on. You just have to take one step onto the path and then the next.

Midlife – How Did You Get Here?

The other song is the Talking Heads song "Once in a Lifetime." No matter your age, this captures the essence of arriving at a point in your life and suddenly questioning how you got there, a sentiment that often surfaces during midlife.

I wonder this a lot and I think I always have...

When Once in a Lifetime blasts out it always stops me in my tracks.

"And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife"

Some of the lyrics make you think of external achievements or the lack thereof – like the house you live in, the nature of relationships, relationships you wished you'd never entered, all kinds of choices, and the paths taken or not taken.

Perhaps you find yourself far from where you started, your dreams and heart's desires sometimes trying to figure out how you have evolved.

Are you moving in the direction you intended, or has the momentum of life carried you along?

"And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?"

Aargh, this wonderful existential question is at the heart of midlife chaos.

It reflects a moment of awakening, where we pause to reflect.

This question isn't only about physical or material accomplishments but a deeper excavation into identity, choices, values, and the authenticity of our lives.

I don’t know about you, but this song always makes me feel emotional.

I often find myself looking in the mirror on the way out on doggy walks. Anyone who knows me will know that I rarely look in the mirror, but at the moment, I am wondering who I am and what is next.

It's kind of wistful and amusing...

Do You Like Where You Are?

I like where I am. It feels peaceful. But I know, sense, feel that there is more…

Reflecting on midlife can bring a mix of emotions – a sense of achievement, the pang of lost opportunities, things you feel you failed at, or perhaps the uncertainty of what lies ahead.

It’s a complex interplay of joy, nostalgia, resilience, and, sometimes, ambiguity.

This reflection is not about mourning youth or fearing the future.

Instead, it's a celebration of growth, a recognition of the wisdom gained, and an opportunity to realign with our deepest values and heart’s desires.

It's a chance to ask ourselves pivotal questions:

• Who am I at this moment in my life?
• What have I learned about myself through the years?
• What are the dreams and values that still resonate deeply with me?
• What are the heart’s desires I want to pursue?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel old, or older or past it.

I’m amused if, truth be told, I have done all the stuff I have done and still haven’t learned to sing and become a rock star. I always wanted to be a rock star...

Reflection

Reflection brings all kinds of things to the surface. The challenges we've overcome, the love we've given and received, the relationships that have come and gone, jobs, careers and businesses, and the evolving sense of purpose that continues to guide us.

Pause. This journey is not just about looking back but also about looking forward, with a clearer understanding of who we are and a renewed vision for our future.

It is also appreciating where you are now and all that you have and are. Time to be grateful for all kinds of things.

You Know The Best Is Yet To Come…

As well as all the knowledge and wisdom gained, we haven't done all the good stuff, there is definitely more to come.

“Always remember that your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come.” ―Zig Zigler

• Embrace the changes and subsequent growth
• View the future as a canvas of endless possibilities
• Embrace the gifts of reaching midlife and the accumulation of wisdom gained from years of diverse experiences and use these to take the next step
• Cherish each moment, embrace each day, and approach the future with a heart full of hope

"The Best Is Yet To Come" is a reminder that no matter where we are in life, there is always something wonderful on the horizon, waiting to be discovered and experienced.

Writing Exercise: Paths of Midlife Reflection

Reflect on your midlife journey, reassess your current path, and envision a future aligned with your deepest values and heart’s desires.

Reflecting on Your Journey

"Midway in life’s journey, I was made aware that I had strayed into a dark forest, and the right path appeared not anywhere." Reflect on the journey so far. Think about the paths you've taken and the forests you've navigated.

• What have been the significant crossroads in your life?
• Looking back, how do you feel about the paths you chose?

The Crossroads of Midlife

"Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there's still time to change the road you're on." Consider the current crossroads you face in midlife.

• What are the paths currently available to you?
• Is there a road you wish to change to? What is holding you back?

Once in a Lifetime Questioning

"And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?" Reflect on your achievements, your relationships, and the paths not taken.

• How did you get here?
• Are you moving in the direction you intended?
• How do you feel about your current place in life?

Envisioning the Future

"The Best Is Yet To Come." Imagine your future, filled with possibilities and opportunities.

• What dreams and values still resonate with you?
• What does your ideal future look like? Be as detailed as possible.

Creating a Road Map

You can use the insights from your answers to sketch a roadmap for your future.

Identify the big picture steps you can take to align your current path with your envisioned future.

Set realistic goals and timelines to achieve these steps. Chunk the goals down and celebrate each chunk.

Commitment to Change

Reflect on the idea that there is always time to change the road you're on.

• What's stopping you? What can you say YES to?
• What changes are you committed to making?
• How will you hold yourself accountable for these changes?

Closing Reflection

After completing this exercise, take a moment to reflect on the overall experience.

• What did you learn about yourself?
• How do you feel about the present?
• How do you feel about the journey ahead?

What Next?

Explore your options for working with me:

• Dive into a transformative one-off clarity session.
• Embark on a 12-week midlife mentoring journey from midlife chaos to clarity, purpose, and peace.
• Join "Learning To Fly" - A 12-step program to clarity, purpose, and peace.

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