Reflecting into the Unknown

When I look back on my high school and college career, I can see that I had aspirations to express myself with the written word.? The problem was, and to a degree still is, I am orthographically challenged (thank you thesaurus) and grammar is a constant uphill battle. I have cursed Noah Webster a few times and begrudgingly accept that he had a twisted sense of humor. What a legacy!? No doubt a handful of word smiths and grammar masters scoff at the order of words and phrases I have commit to a page. How delightful, that I am now since, a published journalist, a published contributor and represented screenwriter.? Ultimately, I did not take my failures as an acceptance of my shortcomings, yet something I could work on in my free time. Reading exponentially more than I ever had, thanks to long flights, but also finding subjects I enjoyed more than getting off the plane. I also paid more attention to certain words, while some escaped, others stuck like glue. Interacting with different cultures and the fortuitous side effect of traveling for a living, mimicking enough of a foreign language to order food and find my hotel. Eventually I put pen to paper and wrote, longhand, my first screenplay, whilst studying Syd Fields, Screenwriting. This was prior to easy access to portable laptops and screenwriting software, you know the late 1990’s.? Reality struck quickly in that I was fragmenting my focus, hopes, dreams and income potential, so I shelved any aspirational writing dreams and doubled down, launched my cinematography and directing career.?

Before too long the written word tracked me down with an entry into journalism for The International Cinematographers Guild magazine by way of editor Simon Wakelin, who I will be forever grateful to for believing in me. This opportunity gave me the confidence I needed to keep writing and feeding the desires of my entrepreneurial spirit.?

And even so, I asked, what is the point of this trip down memory lane? Glad you asked.? I set out to explore my thoughts, experiences, feelings and emotions of this entrepreneurial journey. I read and hear of others taking blind risks or venturing into unknown territory, I often imagine myself on a podcast telling my tale, hopeful to inspire others. I am searching in the dark for sympathetic ears, dusting off survivors along the way and with any luck bringing them along.

I am more like the average, of middle class upbringing, instilled with a Puritanical or Calvinist work ethic. However the curious thing about a comfortable middle class upbringing, is that the unknown will scare the crap out of most.? As middle class you are comfortable and with comfort comes a bit of fear, because perhaps that comfort can vanish in the blink of an eye, the comfort is perhaps as much an illusion as is it a reality. And for whatever reason, I raise a toast to my fellow humans, of comfort and acceptance, bravo to you for taking that leap and venturing into the unknown, teetering on the brink, turning a cheek to the easy opportunity and throwing caution to the wind, accepting in the deepest crevasses of the confident side of your mind that you will probably be ok. By the way This area is the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which helps process rewards. This suggests that feelings of confidence early in the decision-making process could guide our behavior by virtue of being rewarding.

?Did I mention, I failed english and science in High School?? How sweet is the revenge that I have more than likely exceeded the accomplishments of my 15 year old self, but also those who saw only what the power of their red pen would expose.