Reflecting on Six Years Cancer-Free: Five Life Lessons

A little over 6 years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 38. I was in an executive position and had recently moved back to Adelaide after living in London and Melbourne.

After years of gallivanting around the world travelling, I had decided to settle down. But the Universe had other plans for me.

Adversity has a funny way of throwing all aspects of our existence up into the air, creating turmoil and uncertainty. I realised that despite how hard I tried there was no going back to living my life in the same way as I had in the past.

Having cancer triggers a blend of both intense vulnerability and a surrendering to life, with also tremendous courage to be bold. So, I decided to use the experience as a catalyst to reimagine what I could do with my one, wild and precious life.

Armed with the fearlessness that cancer can provide, I slowly dismantled aspects of my life, then rebuilt them in ways I had only dreamed of. I no longer ignored the yearning to become an executive coach, leadership consultant and speaker. I stopped waiting to be ‘old enough’.

My young age had formed much commentary throughout my senior corporate career. After turning 40, I decided to no longer hold executive and senior leadership positions to become an entrepreneur.

I slowly let go of my people pleasing tendencies, I worried less about what others thought. I was more myself. I prioritised rest. I stopped drinking alcohol because I never enjoyed doing so in the first place. I followed work that energised me. Oh, the liberation we feel when we are connected to ourselves and our living our authentic life!

A few months ago, I celebrated 6 years of being cancer-free. This is a tremendous milestone to reach after doctors injected fear of it coming back - being diagnosed in my 30s elicited uncertainty about the future.

Unfortunately, my anniversary was marred by my oldest friend being diagnosed with breast cancer herself. Being able to support her was both an honour and exceptionally triggering. During this period, I reflected on own life once more. ?

These are the 5 critical questions I revisited, I encourage you to reflect on them too:

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1. What does an authentic life look like for me?

• I asked myself if my work, personal, and life goals were still what I truly desired. To be clear, this required me to connect to my feelings and thoughts which I had slowly become distant from. It is easy to live life on autopilot, to not prioritise the time to be still to listen to ourselves.
• If breast cancer had not stopped me in my tracks 6 years ago, I wondered if I would still be an executive with limited boundaries - feeling like I should stay in my position because I was one of the few to reach the top.

2.???? How is my mindset showing up in my response to challenging life events?

• After recently experiencing a tricky year in my personal life, I remembered how easy it is to wish hard times away. To assign what is happening as wrong, rather than a part of the process required to elicit further reflection to enact purposeful change.
• Sometimes, we have to sit in the pain and discomfort of tough times. To be curious to understand what the experience is here to teach us. This is no easy feat though.

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3.???? Where might I need to reassess my boundaries with others and myself?

• As a recovering people pleaser, I still have an innate tendency to put others before myself at times. I realised I had to draw clearer parameters around myself and others this year.
• Again, I experienced the unhelpful reaction from some when I put these into place; however, I understand they benefitted from my elastic boundaries. I decide 6 years ago that self-abandonment is no way to live life.

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4.???? How do I notice and be grateful for the simple acts of kindness from others?

• Before I had cancer, I zoomed through life giving to people, often oblivious to what others gave to me. Whilst going through the multiple tests required once diagnosed to see if the cancer had spread, I started to notice the kind micro-behaviours others showed me. The nurse who held my hand when I was having a panic attack before I had an MRI. My friend who called me every few days for months to check in on me and was not deterred by my frequent lack of response.
• Noticing the care demonstrated by others helps us feel more connected to the world, but we have to look for it. ?

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5.???? How frequently do I undertake simple acts that bring me joy each day?

• My daily micro-behaviours of meditation, yoga, positive affirmations, exercise, reading, speaking to a friend, sitting with myself outside in nature amongst others all provide that spark of joy.
• I realised I have recently deprioritised exercise which helps me be my best so that has become my daily focus again. I love feeling fit and strong.

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The 5 lessons I have taken from my 6-year cancer free anniversary are:

1. Be clear on what living an authentic life means to us and take small steps to move towards that over time
2. Our mindset dictates our ability to meet adversity head on and see that it has happened for us to learn and evolve
3. Regularly reassess and reset our boundaries with ourselves and others to prioritise our wellbeing
4. Notice the small acts of kindness from others to feel more connected
5. Prioritise 3-5 actions that bring us joy each day.

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Which one of these insights will you focus on right now?

Rebecca Christianson - Founder and Managing Director of Thriving People Consulting