Reflecting on Power: My Journey

Me and My Reflections

Lately, it seems like I’ve been on a writing spree with my reflections—seriously, I might as well start a blog titled “Deep Thoughts by Zoey". After much pondering whether LinkedIn is the right platform to post, I’ve decided that it still is the place stage for it. Why? Because it’s the place to keep my lived experience work-related brain dumps.

Now, I’ll admit, sharing these reflections feels a bit like showing up to a party in my pjs —uncomfortable for me but oddly liberating (Scary!). What I’ve noticed is that when I take the time to reflect, it often turns out others are doing the same. It’s like we’re all in this giant cosmic book club, and I happen to be the one sharing my reviews on a public platform (like GoodReads!).

I’ve also had to ask myself: Am I writing for an audience or just for me? It’s mostly for me! If it resonate with others? Well, that’s just icing on the cake.

I’m looking forward to reading these reflections in a few years and hopefully having some “Aha!” moments—or at least a good laugh at my past self. Cheers to growth and awkward honesty! Here we go (again!). ??

Lived Experience and Power

I've been embarking on a complex journey of understanding the intricate relationship between personal power and what the role of power has over my work. This exploration has not only ignited my reflection to revisit different forms of power but also to confront my own challenges in sharing and navigating power dynamics.

Understanding Power Dynamics

Power Over, With, and Within

In my experience, power manifests in various forms (there's many other ways to consider power but for now, these are in my thoughts):

- Power Over: The traditional hierarchical structure I've often encountered in mental health settings.

- Power With: The collaborative approach I strive for, emphasising shared decision-making.

- Power Within: The internal strength I cultivate, which fuels my advocacy and resilience.

My Journey in Changing Power Dynamics

As a lived experience professional, I've found myself in a unique position to reshape power dynamics. However, this journey has been far from straightforward.

?Allies in Sharing Power

I've been fortunate to connect with allies who understand the importance of redistributing power. These individuals - ranging from progressive mental health professionals to fellow lived experience leaders - have taught me valuable lessons:

1. Acknowledge Who Is Not at the Table: I cannot be more appreciative of allies who have emphasised the importance of recognising whose voices are missing from important conversations.

2. The Power of Vulnerability: By sharing their own experiences, my allies have shown me that true strength lies in openness.

3. Collaborative Decision-Making: I've learned to appreciate the richness that comes from involving diverse voices in decision processes.

4. We Rise by Lifting Others: My allies have demonstrated how lifting others ultimately strengthens the entire community.

Personal Challenges in Sharing Power

Despite recognising the importance of sharing power, now that I’ve come to realise that I, too have power, I've found this process to be emotionally complex:

1. Fear of Losing Control: There are times when sharing power feels like relinquishing control, triggering anxiety about outcomes.

2. Self-Doubt: As I step back to make room for others, I sometimes question my own value and contributions.

3. Imposter Syndrome: Sharing power can amplify feelings of inadequacy, making me wonder if I deserve my position.

Navigating the Paradox of Personal Power

My connection to personal power fluctuates daily, often feeling paradoxical. Some days, I feel incredibly empowered and capable of driving change. Other days, I feel powerless in the face of systemic barriers or personal struggles.

Embracing Complexity

Learning to sit with both powerlessness and empowerment has been crucial for my personal growth and professional role:

1. Acknowledging Duality: I've learned to recognise that it's normal to experience both states. It can happen between minutes, days or sometimes weeks.

2. Practicing Self-Compassion: I try to be kind to myself during moments of perceived powerlessness. Bringing out my toolkit and knowing that I have control in specific things such as how I choose to look after my mental health.

3. Leveraging Good Feel Moments: I use periods of feeling powerful to drive positive change and support others. I have folder for Good Feels, with warm and fuzzy emails and comments that remind myself of good wins no matter how small.

4. Seeking Support from my Cheer Squad: I have amazing peers who I’d love to share my wins without feeling like I’m “showing off”. This is something I’m getting better at as a Chinese Australian, humility was the centre of my upbringing and sharing wins is often thought to be boasting and a negative thing.

5. Embracing Vulnerability: I share my struggles and triumphs to foster authentic connections and reduce stigma. Whilst I’m comfortable with sharing, it does concern me sometimes but I’ve learnt that my consistency in showing up develops trust along the way.

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The Journey of Sharing Power

As I continue to advocate for change in mental health systems, I'm learning that sharing power is an ongoing process:

1. Recognising Discomfort: I acknowledge that discomfort in sharing power is part of the growth process.

2. Celebrating Small Wins: I try to appreciate every instance where power is successfully shared or redistributed.

3. Continuous Learning: I remain open to feedback and new perspectives on power dynamics.

4. Modelling Behaviour: By actively sharing power, I hope to inspire others to do the same.

As lived experience professionals, our power lies in our ability to bridge lived experiences with professional practice. By bringing awareness and possibly embracing (maybe?) our (and our allies’) ?complex relationship with power - including the challenges of sharing it - we can create more inclusive, empathetic, and effective mental health systems.

My journey with personal power is ongoing and often messy. Some days I may feel invincible, while others leave me doubting every move. But it's precisely this range of experiences that makes my contributions so valuable. By acknowledging these fluctuations and working through the discomfort of sharing power, we can harness our unique perspective to drive meaningful change in mental health care and beyond.

In this journey, I've learned that true empowerment often comes from letting go, and that by sharing power, we ultimately create a stronger, more resilient community. It's a challenging path, but one that I believe is essential for transforming mental health care and supporting genuine recovery and empowerment for all.

A Question for Reflection

As we navigate this complex landscape together, how do you balance your sense of empowerment with the vulnerability that comes from sharing your power with others?